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Other Topics => Creative Endeavors => Topic started by: jlmusicchick on May 11, 2004, 05:00:06 pm

Title: The Beautiful End
Post by: jlmusicchick on May 11, 2004, 05:00:06 pm

kinda  personal but what the hell, here we go.....

The Beautiful End

This is the end of my progression
And I've reached the beautiful end.
When all the world's been fighting
I slowly lowerd my gun
And i'm done.

The sun looks so pretty
When you're lying down
In an indifferent grass
Of the nicest green.

And everything's so simple
And everything's so lovely
It makes you wish you were in pain
And bleeding just to keep from having
A smile on your face.

So this is the end of my progression
A landscape marks the end.
I'll stop in beauty
And everyone will say "wasn't she so lucky
to escape such a horrible world."

And the other day when I saw you
Walking on the prettiest day
You asked me how I was
And I said "I'm fine."
"Such pretty lies for such an ugly girl"
You replied.
And it was the saddest truth I've ever known.

Maybe this is what happy is
And it can only go down from  here
Maybe this is where your soul rests
In a beautiful landscape.
And at the end of this progression
I've layed down with my tattered gun.
Unable to fire one last fight
Or care which side of the war won.


------------

so yeah, don't know how good it is, just wrote it today so it hasn't been edited or anything.....comments are welcome :-)

Title: .................
Post by: Alecs on May 11, 2004, 07:22:37 pm

damn that's hardcore but good

Title: The Beautiful End
Post by: jlmusicchick on May 12, 2004, 03:40:13 am

thanks

Title: The Beautiful End
Post by: Tia on May 12, 2004, 06:57:42 am

Words evade me...

Title: The Beautiful End
Post by: rosieposy87 on May 12, 2004, 09:16:46 am

Wow Jess, that is amazing. I really really mean it. The end is so good, and i love the 'saddest truth i've ever known'. I'm trying to figure out what its specificly about. I also think i'm going to print it off cos i like it so much!

Title: The Beautiful End
Post by: jlmusicchick on May 12, 2004, 01:44:48 pm

Quote from: "rosieposy87"

Wow Jess, that is amazing. I really really mean it. The end is so good, and i love the 'saddest truth i've ever known'. I'm trying to figure out what its specificly about. I also think i'm going to print it off cos i like it so much!

thanks!

it's one of those poems where i just wrote it - it's kind of everything together, so if parts of it don't make sense that's why :-P

criticism is welcomed!

Title: The Beautiful End
Post by: Tia on May 12, 2004, 02:54:41 pm

Quote from: "jlmusicchick"

criticism is welcomed!

Is it just me or did that sound a lil' twisted? :wink:

Title: The Beautiful End
Post by: Chloe on May 12, 2004, 03:22:21 pm

good job Jess! i like it

Title: The Beautiful End
Post by: DramaQueen on May 12, 2004, 10:00:10 pm

*in awe*

that was great...seriously...youve got some kinda talent there, girl! and i couldnt really see where it would need much of any 'editing'...

keep it up =)

Title: The Beautiful End
Post by: Dancernl on May 13, 2004, 09:26:05 pm

scary.  I think because I'm your sister I don't like this coming from you.  It's good, but I'm your sissy and it makes me feel uneasy reading it knowing you wrote it.

Title: The Beautiful End
Post by: jlmusicchick on May 14, 2004, 03:38:50 am

Quote from: "Dancernl"

scary.  I think because I'm your sister I don't like this coming from you.  It's good, but I'm your sissy and it makes me feel uneasy reading it knowing you wrote it.

blah blah blah :-P

when are you coming hoooooooooooooome sister?