NESSAholics.com
Other Topics => Creative Endeavors => Topic started by: iluvvanessa on March 20, 2008, 09:04:31 pm
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So this is the 1st time i ve ever shared a song with anyone, so her it is. Its titled what should I do, and it was inspired by my sister, calling me names, and just the anger that can build up when you fight and just don't let ypur emmorions out, and not knowing what to do, or what to think.
so her it is tell me what you think:
What should I do
You say I'm ugly
You call me names
But you know what I think
Wait you don't care
What can I do
to make this stop
why can't we just
Work it out
Where should I go
Up or down
What should I do
Smile or frown
Who are you
You're not the same
What are you
I think you're a monster
From a video game
Where should I go
Up or down
what should I do
Smile or frown
I don't know the answer
I don't know what to do
I need a clue
Am I getting through
To you
Where should I go
Up or down
What should I do
Smile or frown
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I think this is pretty good and that you have some potential to grow in your writing talents.
What I like to do is write a lot of songs, then if I go back and read my old ones and think: "wow, but I've really progressed since then" then I go back and change the old songs into even better songs with my new skills.
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you have some very good potential. once you start writing more songs, you'll be excellent!
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Ure good, and like the others said u have great potential...
here are a few tips to progress faster:
-Use a thesaurus to find rich vocabulary that rhymes! :)
-Think of a theme for the song...something like a story(like Vanessa's songs!)
-Use ur heart....people's best work comes out when they r having an emotional time in their life.
Hope that helped :D
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thanks, and i do need to go back and edit my work, and once i get a piano, i will beable to make the music, and sing it!
I DO agree bout the thesaurus thing to, it will do me good to look up some of those words.
thanks for the positive comments!!!!
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thanks, and i do need to go back and edit my work, and once i get a piano, i will beable to make the music, and sing it!
I DO agree bout the thesaurus thing to, it will do me good to look up some of those words.
thanks for the positive comments!!!!
don't mention it! :D
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heres another song
called where are you:
Where are you
You say you're right on front of me
But your not
Who are you
You say you're here
But your not
I see a different person
With a different voice a different heart
Youre not the same when its just me and you
Take it off take it off
Take that mask off
Show it off show it off
Show them the real you
Show them who you really are
This person you pretend to be
Is full of artificial memory
The days and nights meant nothing to you
But the world to me
Shallow as a puddle
Telling lie after lie
Darker than the sky
On a stormy day
Take it off take it off
Take the fake mask off
Show it off show it off
Show them who you really are
Where are you Where are you where are you
The one I love
You've gone so far from my heart
My heart
Shallow as a puddle
Telling me lie after lie
Darker than the sky
On a stormy day
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OMGG!!!!!
THIS IS AWESOMEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! :O
ure really great! :D
these lyrics are so close to what im going through now that they brought tears to my eyes.... :oops: :oops:
WELL DONE! :D
P.S: IM posting a few new songs I wrote in my thread....check them out plz! :D thanks
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Thanks you, I realy didn't expect any good comments with my songs, but your positive comments are really inspiring me! I cannot thank yoiu enough! I can't wait until I can finally compose them.
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I'm really excited to hear your compositions if you can get those to us somehow. Your lyrics I think would go wonderfully with some piano.
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idk how to play piano, but am trying to learn...but i wrote another song...
"Why did you leave Me"
Never said anything
didn't show it on your face
never said you hated this awful place
and now you're gone
you're my friend
how could you leave me
I'm out there searching
Hoping you'll find somebody
Why couldn't you tell me
why oh why
This madness is starting to get me
i cry and cry
Right now i'm praying
Praying for a safe return
I miss you
more than you could know
I'm waiting for you
To show your face
Why did you have to run
we were having so much fun
please come back don't leave me
i need you here
why couldn't you tell me
why oh why
please come back
to me
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OMG! U r GREATTT!!! :D :D :D :D
IS this song abt someone??
ITS REALLY AWESOME!!!!!! :)
I would offer to help u with the piano music...but i have no clue abt that stuff! :razz: :lol:
But i would love to hear it, when uve got the music.... :D
Keep the songs coming!!!! :wink: :wink:
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i will definatly share the music with you when i can write it, i too have no clue about piano, but thanks again for your comments!
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Ahh!
Do you have anything else?
I want to read more of your stuff now. :D
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i am writting as much as i can, but i dont want to rush it because i want it to sound good.
and to answer vanessacarltonmania's question, this song is dedicated to shiara, from the vcb, and all of the people who experience the pain of having a friend or family member run away.
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My newest edition
All is well
You've torn me away
All is well
You've come to play
And then leave again
Why can't you just come to stay
You always leave me this way
It starts out nice and slow
And then the ache kicks in
Why must you do this
Cause me all my pain
I don't want it to turn out
Sad again
I'm giving up hope
Turning aroud leaving you behind
Harder than I thought
Cause you come back again
This game we've played
Is pulling me deeper into your trap
I think I'm gonna snap
And then
All is well
You've come and gone
All is well
it didn't have to end up this way
All is well
All is well
All is well
All is well
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i am writting as much as i can, but i dont want to rush it because i want it to sound good.
and to answer vanessacarltonmania's question, this song is dedicated to shiara, from the vcb, and all of the people who experience the pain of having a friend or family member run away.
nice! :)
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Here's another song, its kinda modeled after heroes and thieves with the whole "looking for wisdom" and not knowing what path is right, and which to choose.
(Simple intro, as song progresses, music becomes more dramatic)
Walking through a forest at night
I can't seem to help but feel some fright
The moonlights captured
The path for some time
I wonder who am I
Should I chose to turn left
or do I go right
What will happen if I might
Turn around and flash frown
I'm looking for wisdom
but can't seem to find it
For I'm the seeker and wisdoms the hidden
In this game called....life
When will I find it
I'm not quite sure
A day a year a decade or two
Who, please tell me who, oh who
Can help me break this spell
I'm really going through a lot of hell
I know I'm wrong
Perhaps I've been bad
life keeps movin on
I will make through this forest
Of heroes and thieves
The choice is right in front of me
Let it be What it is
Just please point me to the path of
The heroes, not the thieves
(Dramatic outro)
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nice work!
ure reallyyy awesomee!
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My latest edition, its titled falling. What do you think.
I'm holding on
My feet planted down firmly
I'm not falling anymore
For you're the one who needs me
The "I" turns in to we
The you goes together
All we needs eachother and nothing else
I'm holdin, holdin on
Though I don't think I'm finished
Finished falling but for now
Here I stand as the world changes
Righ in front of me
As we walk together
Down the streets we call our home
Suddenly I feel as if I'm not
So alone today
A lifelong love
Or one night stand
Please tell me who you are
For now I feel I must leave you
For the falling begins again
Will I crash and burn or return alive
I am really not sure
What's life without taking risks
A walk in the brisk
A dark path deep in the forest
we don't know what path to take
Does it lead to heroes
Or to troubled thieves
I'm sure glad we've met
And now I'm gone
Just please remember me
Ill be back can't you see
Its always gonna be
You and me
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this is cool, but i like the one that stars like: (Simple intro, as song progresses, music becomes more dramatic)
Walking through a forest at night
I can't seem to help but feel some fright
The moonlights captured
The path for some time
I wonder who am I
but this is nice too! :D
Check out my songs....ive added TONS more since the last time anyone's commented :lol: :)
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Here's another one....
Killing me softly
You, you're killing me
Ever so softly
Your indecisivness and unwillingness
To comit to me
I am crashing
And falling off a building
Built by love and my blindness
If I fall too hard
And break my wings
Still will i get back up
And try again to open your eyes
Cause nothing is lasts forever
Our dreams are always crushed by
Truth and the evil that walks among us
Life would be to easy
Wthout the demons
who always seem to get in
My way to you
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You're killing me
(My life is fading)
Ever so softly
(Like a candle in the rain)
I had no clue for what to do
(And I have no one to blame )
But me for falling for you
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A good day for writing songs cause here's another song, called confusion
My life has changed
Because you're here
I've changed myself
And now I'm looking constantly in the mirror
I hate you
Go away
Come back here
I live you
What can I say to end this
My lifes gone crazy
Its shooting down the tubes
Heading into the sewer
With no way out
Its my fault, mostly, for letting you
Get to me
But that doesn't mean, doesn't mean
Your off the hook
I've broken in I'm taking my things
Packing up and leaving
Trying to find my life
Lost if found please call
There's a reward
I hate you
I love you
I'm a wreck
I'm screaming And shouting
please someone rescue me
You want in you want out
Make up your mind
I highly doubt
You want to stay
I hate you
Go away
I love you
Please stay
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Nevermind this post.
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Here's another one I wrote this morning,
I'm capable of so much
But you won't see
You're blind to me
And someday you'll find
We were meant to be
Though I try so hard
And go out of my way
This game you play
Has gotten old (ooh)
As I grow with each empty day
My love for you fades to gray
I am slipping and melting away
Waiting for you isn't what I want to do
I am never good enough
I am ready to go to you and say
I need you
more than you'll ever know
Being without you
Is really beginning to show
My final hour is resting on you
Please tell me if I'm getting through
Please oh please do
Though I try so hard
And go out of my way
This game you play
Has grown so old
I'm standing strong
With a broken heart
I leave today
My wings have spread an I'm beginning to fly
No more turning back now
I don't know how you'll be
Without me
And here's one I meant to put up a while ago, and I could have sworn I did but I guess not.....
More than just a friend.
Todays a day
Just like all the others
I leave early
Just to see you
As I'm off to school
I see you and try to get you to notice me
But it never works out
Cause I don't think you care
No matter how hard I try
I can't ever seem to catch your eye
I know its hard to see
Cause I never show
But its true I like you
Another day the same story
I see you again but you don't see me
I feel invisible I am lost
Drifting out to sea
Come and rescue me
Its time for sadies
Guys get asked by ladies
The girl I hope for
Doesn't ask me
Alone I stay
I hate it this way
But I guess its not meant to be
You and me
And as we talk as friends
I don't think it'll ever end so we can begin
I see you smile
I wish you'd stay a while
So the moment will come up
But you're taken
I hope I'm mistaken
But there you are with him
Holding hands in the hall
God I feel so small
Todays a day just like any other
This time I hope you'll see me
As more than just a friend
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I thought of this song at the movies, and couldn't write it down, so its not the same as my original thought, but I will change it when I can rethink of some of the lyrics...but here's what I have remembered
Titled: cry over me
I'm at the point
Where I'm losing you
I'm not sure what to do
Should I walk or run
Chorus:
Times like these make me wonder
If I hurt myself, broke a bone
Would you care enough to comfort me
Or leave me on my own
Why can't you see---
Why oh why
And so ive found
After growing older
Don't cry over someone
Who can't cry for you
What else can I say
Chorus
If I hurt myself, crawled up and die
Would you cry
Tell me know would you
Would you shed a single tear
Or turn your back and say too bad
I wish I knew all the answers
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Here's some more
Holding me down
I'm in a place
where I should be happy
But you're dragging me down
The evil and frown are drowning me
I want to fly
But my wings are broken
I carry on once I'm healed
But break me is what you do again
I'm tired of waiting
I want to live my life
If I have to
Ill leave you behind
Holding me down
I could be touching the stars
But you've got my feet on the ground
Letting go isn't easy
But I must peel away from you
Evil comes in many
Shapes and sizes
And I must leave this demon behind
For you're ruining my life
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Missing you
Missing you
You haven't called haven't written
I'm worried and missin
Your sweet smile
It makes me happy bit also forgotten
You've made some new friends
But what about the old
For they are gold and I am coal
I'm not that bad, we just live far away
From eachother
I write I call
But you seem to forget it all
We shared so much
But you won't admit it
You'd rather keep it hush hush
My first time
Kissing a girl
Hapiness smiling laughing
It'll only happen once
But I feel that its a mistake
Though we live far apart
Its not that hard
To return a call, write a letter
Just let me know you're ok
cause I miss you so
Iwrite I call
But its all forgotten
I give I make an effort
But you don't
I'm not done yet
I wint give up
What we had was so special
The single kiss ill miss
What we shared ill always remember
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This song is for a girl who recently confessed her love to me [she loves me apparently] but i dont love her back, and i am putting this in her locker today.
Audrey
I feel fake, unreal
Am I dead, living, breathing
I’m willing to bleed
Just to know I am alive
Paralyzed not knowing what to do
You say you love me
But sadly I don’t love you
I’ve tried to point it our
But you don’t catch on
But don’t worry hon
I’m not the only one
For you
Although I fee bad
That you love me
And I don’t love you back
I would simply say it
But I don’t wanna see you blue
So this song is the best I can do it
I may seem shallow
But you deserve the truth
Don’t waste your youth
Trying to impress me
Stay the same don’t ever change
Someone later down the road
Will appreciate you
Kiss the toad and he’ll be your prince
Happily ever after you will live
Just don’t ever change
Yourself for me
Audrey, Audrey, Audrey, Audrey
You’re a sweet girl
Just not for me
I don’t wanna pretend
You should get what’s real
And not whats fake
I may seem shallow
But you deserve the truth
Don’t waste your youth
Waiting for me
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Geez, I would be absolutely crushed if the person i liked wrote that and put it my locker.
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This girl is freaking me out. She's kind of a stalker. She is texting me saying she lovs me. She had her friend text me...I don't even know who that person is, and she wouldn't lay off, she was liuke quizzing me and asking me all these questions...enough is enough.
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wow, I've got the feeling that you can't help writing! congratulations! :D
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it gets my emotions out, and i think its a good creative outlet.
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this song makes me out as a murder, i am not, this song is about taking revenge on someone who has done something wrong to you. though revenge isnt always the best thing, it is something we all want to do, and at that given moment think its the best thing we can do, sometimes it is and sometimes not, its one of those learning situations where once you take action you'll find out if it was a good or bad choice.
once again i am not a murderer and have no thoughts of killing ANYONE.
make it hurt
This games not about making friends
I'm in it to win oh
Not about making friends
I will somehow get you back
With a rusty knife
Somehow ill get you back
I am here in the dark
And you won't know or see
Before I fight to the death
And spill a bloody mess
And you seem to runaway
No one will see what I did
Or even look the other way
Not a though or a care
In the still of the night
When I'm here ready to fight
Its life or death
And I know now ill win
You can't stop me
I know what to do
And not to leave a clue
No one will ever find me
No one will ever find....
I'm alone in the dark
Not afraid to hunt you down
When you least expect it
Is when it comes the best
The hardest way
A bitter after shock will do
Of this cold way of life
No one will find this sharp knife
Piercing through your heart
I wanna make it hurt
Just to see the look on your face
I wanna make it hurt
The scared look on your face
You're afraid of what ill do
Killing you will always be
My favorite part
Cause I'll know that I won
(Laughs)
And you seem to runaway
No one will no what I did
Or even look the other way
I'd hate to say
You won't be missed
By me or all the ones you decieved
In the end
You're a low down person
Who will do what they can to hurt.
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A big decision has come to me
So now the question is here
Do I use my brain or follow my heart
Leave from a place
Where I belong
Or go somewhere that is wrong for me
You're my friend and my lover
But self centered
Youre a saint you're a bitch
You're a cold hearted witch
But call me sweetie
Who should I believe when I am
Faced with this problem
Trust my heat or trust my brain
I feel like I'm going insane
Pulled side to side
Smashed in the ocean tide
Oh its killing me inside
Its time to choose
will I win or lose
That I can't predict
The candles burned out to the wick
Sucked the life right out of me
I am watching
(Spoken)
You're standing right in front of me
Making mistakes
Ruining your life
Its tearing me apart
How can I make it stop
How oh how ho-ooooooow
Do I choose whats right
I just don't know what might happen
But who can predict
I see a psychic
She reads my palms
and draws some cards
Go to church and give some alms
Hoping someones out there watching me
The choice is mine
Ill do the rest
live my life to the best
That It can be
I can't wo-o-rry---
Its a daily thing
Disaster it strikes everyone
Ill just do my best to trust both
My brain and my heart.
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Here's a song I wrote, its about me and my friends. A group that I call my "friends". They are just so negative, and it pains me to be around them, but its one of those relationships you can't break away from because you don't want to make enemies with them, and if you stop being friends, you've lost like ten people out of your life. This year imparticular has been a major changing time on my life, I have found so much more about myself, I have made new friends, I've grown up, but I can't realize these changes I've made and live them out to their fullest potential because there are people (and there always will be) who are holding me down, and at this time and moment I feel that I have to break free from their I guess "spell" and as my song deplicts fly away. But its oh so hard. Alas, here's my song.
Autopsy
Your darkness overwhelms my heart
Without batting an eye
You crush my hopes and dreams
A broken bird Unable to fly
Held down by your negativity
Dragging me pulling me
Down to the ground
Im screaming I'm shouting
But My words are silent
My lifes turning
Crumbling out from under me
How do I make it stop
Save me from this Death sentence
the Key to my cell is
Right out of my Reach
My death row pardon
Came a minute too late
I'm running I'm hiding
And you catch me
I'm jumping from the top
And you let me go
I've fallen into your
Trap again Its you who
Cast this spell upon me
I try and I try and I
Try and I try and try
But can't escape
You pull me back
Lay me down
Autopsy my body
Find that I died from
The impact of your Negativity
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Here's a new song I wrote about being with someone who you really like and they either don't like you back or treat you or speak to you in a demeaning manner.
The sun is frozen
A hot wind
Leaves a chill on me
The snow makes me feel
As if I'm burning
Your eyes catch me
A fish stuck in a net
making me stumble and fall
Sometimes I wish
I could have it all
Your words circle
Around in my head
They make me feel
As If I'm dead
I'm laying here wondering
What to do
I am stuck
Without a clue
A glimpse of luck
Perhaps will help
The snow falls burning
The sun shines freezing
Would it all end
I don't want to be left Incomplete
A finished picture on the wall
now A blank canvas
Your words have been cleared
Lets start over
The world is frozen
Except for me and you
Now were alive
Awoken from the depths
The sos has finally been seen
Now we are free
Or are we
Cause the sun shines so bright
But emmits a cool feeling
The snow it falls heavily
But makes me feel warm
I'm unsure of all
that's come and gone
But one thing that makes me
Feel as if I have wisdom
Is how we feel when we say
Lets start a new beginning
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More than blood
Here I lie awake next to you
A swet lullaby
you sing me To sleep
You take my empty mind
and fill it with these empty thoughts
Posioning taking me away
I am not
what I used to be
Your thought
Burns inside of me
Washing out my brain
Cleaning empty spaces
And filling them with
Dirty thoughts of suicide
Leaving and never coming back
I've gotta leave
Get out Of here
I'm gonna heave and throw it all up
And get rid of all the thoughts
That poisoned me
You don't have to appreciate it
You don't even have tosee
All of what was me
I was just fine
I know now
I know now
More than blood runs through my veins
Forever poisoned
By your ways
I will always feel it
Always feel it
Never can get rid of it
Always there
Inside of me.
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So here's a song I wrote today, its kind of my take on more than this, and that true love will prevail if you fight hard enough for love. Its still in its "raw" stage I guess you can call it and neds to be revised, and I have no title for it yet.
The ground in which we walk
Was blessed by the light
But all I feel is the dark
Around me eating me
The full moon above
Calls out to the stones
Where bones are buried
And it makes me wonder
What if we were chosen now
Would we die a peaceful death
Or would we look back
Full of regret
Be happy with what you have
And never wish for more
You may not think so now
But what you have is so great and
the black figures in the sky
Should set a scary setting
But make me wonder why
I am here under the black lifeless sky
The demons surround me
And I want out of here
And The flames they engulf me
My soul will fight strong
I'm pulled apart from you
True love will prevail
I run and hide
But I'm in plain site
I'm trapped in the dance of a devil
Not knowing what to do or where to go
Its their test
but I am not theirs tonight
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Emptiness
Her tears dry
Before they pour out
Her voice empties
Before she shouts
She hides her hopes and feelings away
So no one ever knew that
She fels this way
Before she leaves she
Glues on a fake face
Its the sad honest truth
Not everyone can see
What she's feeling
She writes and calls but no response
As if no one really cares
The emptiness turns her heart to black
A spreading case of depression
Shows what she's missing
Don't be afraid to let it out
Stop pretending You're
not capable of anything
No one can tell what you are thinking
If you stay bottled up
A climb up to the rooftop
Her fate awaits
A loss of balance or was it
Leads to her death
She couldn't keep on living
She finally feels free
A tragic loss leaves us left wondering
What was going on in
Her seemingly perfect life
----------
I was there.
A foggy day I board the train
No intentions to go back
You didn't see what was in your face
My potential led to disgrace
Why must it all end like this
Although its sad I have to go
Its the best thing that I can do
But there's one thing
I want you to know
I'm leavin you here
The wind runs through your hair
Its your mistake not to take
All that I had to offer
And Why couldn't you see
What you had standing right in front of you
And I won't waste my time waiting
I, I was there
I gave you my best and all I could offer
I left my character
And tried to join paths with you
I opened up but you remained closed
And why can't you see
That I gave you all I had
All that was me
I try, I try but don't
seem to get through
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I see your lyrics are getting progressively more mature. I really enjoy reading them.
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thanks, I have noticed that too.
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Who's there for me.
Where am I going I think I'm lost
You were right beside me
But now your gone Torn away
but ill live to see another day
Who are the people I can trust
Who are my friends that wont leave me in the dust
I'm still growing up and finding Why I'm here
With every disaster I will
Seek adventure and with
Every argument I will
Search for truth just so I can find someone
Who will take me how I am
I keep stumbling along this
Same old empty path
I am lost but i know where I'm going to
Somehow I know I'll find my way to you
who's the one that will stay with me
Say they support me uncoditionally
I'm out there searching hoping to find
Who are the people I can trust
Who are my friends that won't
Leave me in the dust
I'm still growing up and finding why I'm here
Times are growing harder now
With each step I take
I feel like I'm going back two
Please someone show me how
I can turn my life back around
Who are the people I can trust
Who are my friends that won't
leave me In the dust
I'm still growing and finding out why I'm here
I come to you when I want support
You tear me down and you Cut me short
But I am so much more
than you gove me credit for
Who are the people I can trust
Who are my friends that wont
leave me in the dust.
---still very much in the editing process---
And here's another. I'm not sure what to title it, but if you have an idea plase tell.
He is sitting curled up
Empty broken hearted wanting nothing More than to be accepted for who he is
People have been cruely judging
Coming to false conclusions but
They don't even know him
Why can't they just look at him and see
Who is really there
Why don't they just open their minds
And let him live without this constant - pressure
A simple question makes
The biggest fight
They're only open to what
They think might Be the truth
He must to prove them wrong
But should he have to prove anything
Why cant they just look at him and See
Who is really there
Why don't they just open their mind
And let him live without this constant-pressure
He is broken hearted
Held back from what he hopes for most
So much is wrong So little right
He's still finding himself
And shaping who he is
And why can't they just look at him and see
All what he can possibly be
Why don't they let him, let him be free
To be what he wants
But instead they still
Laugh at him he's their joke
What made him be the one
they choose to tear down
He is sitting curled up
Empty and wishing for someone
To save him
Can't they just look at him and see
Who is really there
Why don't they just open their minds
And live in peace
-
Beyond Wonderland:
The day is fading
You and I sit beneath
We watch the sky as it blooms and changes
This is perfect, you and I
I don't know who I'd rather spend my whole life with but you
Suddenly, suddenly i feel like i am
beyond wonderland nothing can go wrong
our hand holds are interlocking
our lips leave a shocking truth
this time will be our song
this is what i call instant bliss
I need no more than you
The earth is our empty canvas
We can fill it up, i know its true
I've found the Buddha, here in times of trouble
And now i feel like its alright because
Suddenly, suddenly i feel like i am
beyond wonderland nothing can go wrong
our hand holds are interlocking
our lips leave a shocking truth
this time will be our song
this is what i call instant bliss
I'm walking free without a care
you're the one who gets me there
I will miss these days
If they should come to an end
But for now
We are floating, flying high
Above and beyond
words can't describe
your simple touch, your honest smile that
Takes me beyond wonderland
-
So this is the 1st time i ve ever shared a song with anyone, so her it is. Its titled what should I do, and it was inspired by my sister, calling me names, and just the anger that can build up when you fight and just don't let ypur emmorions out, and not knowing what to do, or what to think.
so her it is tell me what you think:
What should I do
You say I'm ugly
You call me names
But you know what I think
Wait you don't care
What can I do
to make this stop
why can't we just
Work it out
Where should I go
Up or down
What should I do
Smile or frown
Who are you
You're not the same
What are you
I think you're a monster
From a video game
Where should I go
Up or down
what should I do
Smile or frown
I don't know the answer
I don't know what to do
I need a clue
Am I getting through
To you
Where should I go
Up or down
What should I do
Smile or frown
That was terrible. I am sorry but its true.
-
thats good!