NESSAholics.com
Other Topics => Completely Off-Topic => Topic started by: Holly on May 16, 2003, 08:36:46 am
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this guy i like and i know he likes me... doesnt seem to know i like him back, lol. and i wanna know a good way that he could get the hint, but i dont wanna be too forward...
i'm going to prom (OMG! i'm excited :D ) with him tonight and what should i say?
this is like the first guy ever who i instantly connected with and was able to be myself after only like 5 mins! and some of you all know how shy i am... so this is a big thing! lol
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Holly, this is scary because i am in almost exactly the same position(except my prom is in about 6 weeks!)! Do you have txt messages there? Because i swear that is the best way.
Yesterday my friend went around telling people we were going out, i was like NOOOO and so i txted him and he said 'why is that such a bad thing?' and i said "of course it isn't (i should be so lucky)"- it works i tell ya! We are going to 'Prom' together, too. lmao
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Hmmm...that's a tough one.
I'm pretty bad at relationships so I'm gonna let someone else answer for me.
Sorry Holly! :(
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thats cool Rosie! goodluck with you and him!!
yeah... i am really lucky to have met him... he's like 5 inches taller than me which is great cause its finally a guy i can wear heals with!! and i think he's cute! and he's really sweet and acts like a gentleman, and we have alot in common so we have good conversations...
he's also training to be a fireman!
his sis set us up for my prom... and at that point i hadnt met him yet... but on tues we went out for coffee and had a great time. but by the end of the night i wasnt sure if he liked me or not, but i liked him...
then my mom and i have picked up a few things from his sis and mom that make me think he does like me:
he said something like "omg! she is the nicest, most real girl i've ever met"
and his mom said when he got back from our date she saw a sparkle in his eye she hadnt seen in a long time. awwww....
and his sis says he's always asking her if she's talked to me or if ive said anything about me, she says he's nervous to see if i like him too, cause he likes me
and when i called him last night, maybe it was just me, but his voice seemed to have perked up a bit when he found out it was me!
his sis offered to do my hair and make up (she's like a pro) so i'll find out more talking to her! and then i'll be spending like 9 to 15 hours with him tonight/tomrrow morning so since i only have spent an hour with him, i should get to know him alot more tonight
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he said something like "omg! she is the nicest, most real girl i've ever met"
and his mom said when he got back from our date she saw a sparkle in his eye she hadnt seen in a long time. awwww....
Oh that is just the cutest thing possibly ever said!
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yeah... it is!
and he's only had one girlfriend and she broke his heart... so i know that must mean that he's nice
and he's cute and really fun to hang out with... so he must have only had one girlfriend because he's shy, or because he's picky...
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Hold hands with him a lot, he'll get the hint, SOunds like he's just as nervous as you are. I think you're going to be just fine. Be safe tonight...no drinking and driving, and be careful if you're driving home.
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thanks David! yeah, i'll be safe!
i'll try to hold hands with him... and when we're dancing i'll get close to him... i hope by the end of the night/morning he understands that i like him too
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You should invite him back to your place...then he'll really know! :wink:
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lmao! i dont wanna move that fast if thats what ur implying
but actually... we're going to be in a group with 4 other couples the whole night, he's picking me up at 6pm tonight, then we'll meet my friends at 6:30pm and go to prom at 8pm, then prom ends at 12am, we'll go to afterparites till like 3am... then we'll go crash at my friends house and swim, watch movies... etc. then i have to leave at 9am.. but i dont know how long he'll stay
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David, don't tell her that!! Haha...
Holly, I am sure your smile tells him you like him. I can totally see you grining around him. I am sure you both feel it and well tonight I am sure you will have time to show it (not in David's way) but like mentioned before, hand holding, looks, etc. And be sure you tell him you are having a good time (if you are) and that you enjoy spending time with him. You might could even throw in there that you hope you will get to spend sometime together over the summer or what not.
He is going to be scared if he is just getting over a relationship and they usually fall pretty quick and hard when they are. Just be yourself.
I hope some of this made sense. Good luck have fun...
My fireman is 6'2"
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thanx Let!
yeah, i plan to hint that i want to see him more... like i'll invite him to hang outs with friends and stuff...
i'm not sure how long ago he broke up with his ex... but i hope he knows i dont plan to do the same to him. he's a nice guy, and i dont see the point in hurting him unless he changes that.
what you said definatly made sense! :)
my fireman (to be, he's only 17 like me) is somewhere between 6'2" and 6'3"
hehe... fireman (especially tall ones) are cool :D
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You're going to have a blast tonight! I want to hear all about it!
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thanx! yeah, i'm sure i am!! as long as nothing bad happens!
and i'll tell you about it!!!
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You should invite him back to your place...then he'll really know! :wink:
LMFAO!
I'm undecided if that is a good idea or not...eh.... :twisted:
:P
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You girls drive me NUTS!
I dont understand why girls are so afraid of rejection? Girls don't get rejected very often!! Guys dont know how to say no! We have no practice at it!
In my experience, if a girl approaches a guy, shes got like a 90% shot of getting him to take her out, even if shes approaching a guy out of her league. It's just a fact of the dynamic. Guys usually have to work so hard to get a date, we LOVE when we get one without the effort.
Girls, its easy to let any half way experienced guy know you like him. There are about a dozen different signals we look for from a girl to know if shes interested.
If she laughs at ALL our jokes, even the un funny ones. If she sympathizes with everything we tell them. If she actually takes a minute to encourage US to talk (instead of just blabbing away the whole time). If she leans in when shes listening. If she makes eye contact. If she seems nervous. The smile is a BIG one. Guys always look to see if the girl is smiling.
Also, another good sign guys look for is if she shows an interest in the things we do. girls do this to give us an opening to invite them places. For example, if I say how much I love going to the track, and she declares "Ohhh! I love horses!" then thats my opening to say "well, we should go for the spring meets this weekend!".
So just try to give him those kinds signals. And if hes interested in you, he will take the bait and if hes not then he can casually ignore them and no one gets embarrased.
Unless you think hes too naive to pick up the signals. Then you should just jump him and see how he responds. :wink:
---Andrew
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You should invite him back to your place...then he'll really know! :wink:
LMFAO!
I'm undecided if that is a good idea or not...eh.... :twisted:
:P
lmao! it's not
how did we go from holding hands to that?? lmao
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well put Andrew! ::Claps::
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If she laughs at ALL our jokes, even the un funny ones. If she sympathizes with everything we tell them. If she actually takes a minute to encourage US to talk (instead of just blabbing away the whole time). If she leans in when shes listening. If she makes eye contact. If she seems nervous. The smile is a BIG one. Guys always look to see if the girl is smiling.
Also, another good sign guys look for is if she shows an interest in the things we do. girls do this to give us an opening to invite them places. For example, if I say how much I love going to the track, and she declares "Ohhh! I love horses!" then thats my opening to say "well, we should go for the spring meets this weekend!".
thanx Andrew! i did all that... but he didnt seem to pick up on it, or maybe he's not sure...
i not only acted but was intrested in everything he did, when he told me how he broke his leg i sympathized with him... and when we talked about our brothers we sympathized with eachother. at first we both had a lil problem with the eye contact, but after like 5 mins that was going on too... and i think i smiled and laughed alot!
we have a lot in common... so it was easy to make a conversation with him, and we both talked equally 50% of the time
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You girls drive me NUTS!
I dont understand why girls are so afraid of rejection? Girls don't get rejected very often!! Guys dont know how to say no! We have no practice at it!
Girls are afraid of rejection but what i've always thought that if a boy really likes me, he'll ask me out. I don't want him to say yes just because i'm an opportunity to pull someone, u know?
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LOL I'm loving this thread guys... go on, keep talking! *sits back and listens*
PS: Holls I'm sure it'll all work out, you're such a sweet girl, how could he not like you? :wink:
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LOL I'm loving this thread guys... go on, keep talking! *sits back and listens*
PS: Holls I'm sure it'll all work out, you're such a sweet girl, how could he not like you? :wink:
Isn't it great nez!? oooh i am loving this advice thing because hell we all need it! And Holly, listen to nerea- cos she is right. lol
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Holly,
This is going ot be unpopular advice.... BUT, if you gave all the signals and he didn't respond then there are a few posibilities...
1) He didn't notice
in which case hes not very bright or experienced and you dont want him
2) he noticed but hes undecided
in which case hes wishy washy and you dont want him
3) he noticed but hes not interested
in which case hes stupid and you dont want him
.... so regardless, hes not a guy you want. Move on.
Unless you just want some action, then jump his bones!!!!!
---Andrew
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In my experience, if a girl approaches a guy, shes got like a 90% shot of getting him to take her out, even if shes approaching a guy out of her league.
Have to disagree on this... it's not that easy!!!
Hehe Rosie we should have a permanent "official advice thread" lol
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1) He didn't notice
in which case hes not very bright or experienced and you dont want him
LMAO
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I'm absolute terrible at asking women out. I feel like a total retard because it comes out like I'm mentally dissabled. I can see it in their facial expression that they are wondering if I should go out with this guy because he's a idiot. LOL hence I hardly ever "ask a woman out on a date" But I still manage to get by if I really want to have an active dating life.... But I'm sure I miss a lot of nice people because of it. My dates seem to just happen.
tylor
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lmao, yeah cos then i wouldn't feel all weird for making a thread about advising me. lmao- come on msn or aim u foolio neri!
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Girls! You're nuts! How many times have you just approached a guy and asked him out? Seriously!
The only girls I've ever turned down were the REALLY sketchy ones. Any normal and half-way cute girl who has come on to me i've taken out.
Granted, thats like 2. But still. Most of the time, girls just sit back and expect a guy to take all the risks.
Why is that? Why is it that a guy has to risk getting hurt in asking a girl out but the girl doesn't have to risk anything? Thats hardly fair. *hmph*.
---Andrew
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Girls! You're nuts! How many times have you just approached a guy and asked him out? Seriously!
---Andrew
erm... none? :oops: I don't think I would... isn't it supposed to be that way? boy asks girl? lol
I guess things are different depending on where you live too
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The only girls I've ever turned down were the REALLY sketchy ones. Any normal and half-way cute girl who has come on to me i've taken out.
Don't you see? Thats what i'm saying, we don't want to be taken out because we're 'half-cute' or 'normal', we want to be taken out because you liked us in the first place!
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SO true Rosie!
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The only girls I've ever turned down were the REALLY sketchy ones. Any normal and half-way cute girl who has come on to me i've taken out.
Don't you see? Thats what i'm saying, we don't want to be taken out because we're 'half-cute' or 'normal', we want to be taken out because you liked us in the first place!
I know men who ask every girl they see out(the just normal or half cute ones as well) so that if a man ask you out doesn't mean he "likes" you...
tylor
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Rosie,
I understand what you are saying, but check this. Once you get the guy to take you out, thats when you get to dazzle him with your personality.
Or is it all about good looks? If hes not blinded by your radiance then you dont want to go out with him?
So if a guy asks YOU out, and you dont instantly swoon at his good looks then you're gonna turn him down?
Girls accept dates from guys they think are just "OK" looking all the time, and then he guy gets more attractive the more time they spend with him.
My cousin just married a guy she wasn't at all attracted to at first.
I dont see why it has to work one way for guys and another way for girls. I think girls should feel comfortable asking a guy out the same way guys should feel comfortable asking a girl out.
Equal rights, womens lib and all that.
---Andrew
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The only girls I've ever turned down were the REALLY sketchy ones. Any normal and half-way cute girl who has come on to me i've taken out.
Don't you see? Thats what i'm saying, we don't want to be taken out because we're 'half-cute' or 'normal', we want to be taken out because you liked us in the first place!
I know men who ask every girl they see out(the just normal or half cute ones as well) so that if a man ask you out doesn't mean he "likes" you...
tylor
UGH could that be more depressing!?
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I know men who ask every girl they see out(the just normal or half cute ones as well) so that if a man ask you out doesn't mean he "likes" you...
tylor
The shotgun theory! This becomes especially popular at about 2 am right before the bar closes :wink:
---Andrew
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bars don't close in Reno :)
tylor
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The shotgun theory! This becomes especially popular at about 2 am right before the bar closes :wink:
---Andrew
There are theories!? i give up on the male population...
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The shotgun theory! This becomes especially popular at about 2 am right before the bar closes :wink:
---Andrew
There are theories!? i give up on the male population...
At least you can study thoeries.......it is better than "being in the mood" hormones and emotions........ :wink:
you have to study psychology for several years to understand women and then it is still a shot in the dark :wink:
lol
tylor
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Preach on brother Tylor!
Men are SOOOOO easy to understand. We go by very simple rules. You just have to know the rules.
I have learned to PREDICT the things women do.... but I will never understand them. Ugh.
---Andrew
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actaully men are complicated too because humans are complicated. I'm a pretty complicated person actaully as well....but most men are easy to figure out....beer, woman, and sports :wink: LOL j/k
tylor
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!!! you say J/K but really... what else is there? I mean, that easily summs up my biggest driving forces.
---Andrew
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!!! you say J/K but really... what else is there? I mean, that easily summs up my biggest driving forces.
---Andrew
lol...not me. I pass the sports section to someone else without even looking at it. I hardly ever drink. well, i love women but that is the only simple thing about me :D
and you wonder why I'm odd :wink:
tylor
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The only problem with girls who come on to me is this:
They're usually coming on to every other guy they come across, I mean yeah I know I'm rediculously good looking, but there is just something wrong if a girl comes on to me. Every girl that's come on to me that I've tried to have a relationship with has either:
A: lots of baggage (i.e. kids, devorced, alcoholic, psychological issues et cetera)
B: is on the rebound
C: is from New Jersey
D: Has about six other bed buddies.
So having said that, I have come to the conclusion that most women are psychos!
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This is a fantastic thread. I’m especially loving the inside scoop on how men think. Keep the posts coming, guys. Also, I must confess I love living vicariously through others. So, I really want things to go well at the prom tonight for Holly. :D :D :D :D :D And I'm going to want details when it's all over! :P
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*wonders how it all went*
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*wonders how it all went*
Yeah me too...I wonder if Holly brought him back to her place :wink:
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LOL I guess not... but you never know huh? :wink:
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I wanna know if Holly captured him too!! Its will set a precident, go hoooolly its not ur birthday...
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Yup, I'm waiting to hear how it went too. I'm crossing my fingers that they found a quiet place to "get to know each other better" at the after-party. :P
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you want details? ok! i got details! lol :D
i can tell the story of what happened and stuff lately! but i g2g cause he's picking me up in like 5 mins!! and i'm seeing him tomorrow and friday as well... so i guess that means he likes me!
he said last night was the best night of his life and everyone who was there said that he definatly likes me! so this is good!
anyways... i g2g now! i'll tell you more about it later!!!
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you want details? ok! i got details! lol :D
anyways... i g2g now! i'll tell you more about it later!!!
Nooooo! Don't leave us hanging! :P
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lol, i told you some things....
but umm... he picked me up at 6pm on friday, then we went over to my friends house and took pics then we all took a limo to the prom! on the way i called JoJo (kiis fm) and he played a bit of us talking on the air.... there were 5 couples in all in our group. we got there around 7:30 or 8 and they had dinner there and then we danced... we left at about 12am and went back to my friends house to change and then went to an after party till like 3am... then went back to my friends house and swam till like 4:30am... then watched a movie and went to sleep at 6am. i woke up at 7am... but most of us woke up at 8 when my friends cat attacked us, lol. then some of the guys went swimming and we went on a star bucks run and then had breakfast. then i had to leave at about 9:30am saturday...
and then saturday night i went out with him and our friends Matt, Will, Viv and Heather... to go go carting then we had dinner and hung out at matts house. lol... i was thinking about it... and in that like 41 hours... i got 2 hours of sleep!
and i'm seeing him again at this party tonight... then again on friday cause his sis is a JoJo fan and i'm taking her to meet him and he's coming.
i have fun hanging out with him... right now we're just friends... lol, or maybe friends with benifits.
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Friends with benefits O_o lol
Nah, it is cool that you have fun chillin' out with him.
-Brian
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right now we're just friends... lol, or maybe friends with benifits.
hehe, friends with benefits... cool :wink: 8) I'm glad you had fun and everything went well :D
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maybe friends with benifits.
Haha, I love this expression!
*wants to have friends with benefits*
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Friends with benefits huh? Nice! You crazy girl!
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lmao... now lets not take that expression too far!
right now he's just like one of my guy friends... but i can do things with him like last night we were kinda cuddling on the couch... holding hands and he was putting his arm around me... just lil things! nothing too extreme. lol
he's a nice guy and he's fun to hang around with, but there are some times when he gets a lil too obnoxious and loud. even my friends agree... and trust me the guys we hang around with are big jokers too.... but i dont know, sometimes mike needs to calm down a bit! but like 90% of the time he's alright! but you know how you can love a guy when it's like one on one, and then when he's with his friends theyre like totally different? thats how it is with him.
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*wants to have friends with benefits*
Me too!
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i want a relationship... i dont know him well enough to see if i want one with him.... but i dunno... we'll see (ive only known him 5 days)! i'm seeing him in an hour!
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Oh sweetie.... you are messin this up BIG time. Don't cuddle if you are only looking for a friend with benefits (or f' buddy for the PG-13 crowd)
See? This is how men get confused. She does things like cuddle and hold hands with him, but she doesn't know if she wants to date him?!? Come on ladies! U-N-F-A-I-R.
Men are not complicated. Hes looking for a relationship. If you AREN'T then either give him some booty so he wont feel like a COMPELTE loser, or just leave the poor guy ALONE!!!
Seriously girl, do you realize how MEAN that is? Its called leading a guy on. Don't do it.
Also, you dont have to be madly in love with a guy to date him. Just go out with him. No one said you had to commite. But if you keep it on a friend level till you are sure you want a relationship with him, then hes gonna move on. Guys are pretty impatient. 5 days is plenty of time to decide if you want to go out with the guy.
On a side note, normally I would go back and make fun of David for his comment about being "ridiculously good looking" but since everyone else choose to ignore it I'll let that little ego stroke go. But dont think you're gonna get very many free passes like that around me! Im ruthless! Grrrr! :wink:
---Andrew
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whoa.. lol, i didnt say i was only looking for a friend with benifits! i'm saying thats what i HAVE now! i said i'm looking for a
r-e-l-a-t-i-o-n-s-h-i-p! and all i'm doing is letting him cuddle with me and hold my hand, i'm not leading him on... i'm just seeing if he likes me by doing that! it takes awhile to build a relationship, not only 5 days. how am i sposed to know if i like this guy in 5 days? theres been times when i like him and times when i dont in the time i've seen him... right now i like him tho! lmao, he took me off roading near the rosebowl, that was fun.
but right now we're just taking it slow... tonight my friend was like "go sit on his lap!!" and i wouldnt even do that... i'm not the one to make the moves, so i definatly couldnt lead him on.
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Men are not complicated. Hes looking for a relationship. If you AREN'T then either give him some booty so he wont feel like a COMPELTE loser, or just leave the poor guy ALONE!!!
I don't agree here, it's usually the other way round... girl wants a relationship, boy wants to hang around without any commitment.
Also, you dont have to be madly in love with a guy to date him. Just go out with him.
Yeah, that's true. You can just go out with him, take it slowly, see how it goes, and if it works then the relationship will develop into something more serious, but if it doesn't then it's fine. going out with someone doesn't mean you're gonna get married
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I don't agree here, it's usually the other way round... girl wants a relationship, boy wants to hang around without any commitment.
Hmmmmmm I don't agree with this. Most of women I know only want the booty, then they kick you out at 6am. I know so many nice guys who have problems finding women who want more than a "fuck buddy" relationship.
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all i'm doing is letting him cuddle with me and hold my hand, i'm not leading him on... i'm just seeing if he likes me by doing that!
Ah. the naivity of youth. How I miss it.
Ok, lets go through the logic of this. Here are the facts thus far...
1. Guys, in general, are not emtional creatures. We don't like to cuddle, we like to have sex. We only cuddle if we have to or we are REALLY into a chick.
2. Holly's guy is cuddling with her and holding hands with her and has repeatedly said nice things about her and about his time with her.
3. Holly's guy is not getting sex from her.
So what does this tell us about this guy?
Answer: He really likes Holly
So he really likes Holly, and Holly isn't sure if she likes him... yet she is doing things that would indicate she does. such as holding hands with him.
So what is Holly doing? Thats right, leading him on. :wink:
Holly, you seem to think that a relationship is something that you both sit around and discuss and suddenly "decide" you're in. This is not jr high anymore. You dont go up to him and say "will you be my boyfriend". The way it works is, you go out, you hookup a few times. If you continue to enjoy eachothers company after about 2 months of this then it might be time to actually discuss your feelings with eachother. But there is no point worrying about the "relationship" until you make sure you two are compatible. You do this by going out together! ALONE! It's called DATING. Dating is FUN! It's the best part of a relationship! Try it!
this may sound condescending, but thats not the intention... I wish someone had sat me down when I was 15 and gone through this crap with me instead of making me learn it on my own.
---Andrew
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David, I disagree with you. It's always the girls who try and trap ME into a relationship im not ready for. i wish there were more girls around here that were just looking for cheap sex.
HOWEVER, I dont think Nerea is right either cause she says guys want to "hang out" with no commitment. No, if we want to hang out with the girl, then that means we enjoy her company, which means we want to date her. Guys want to have SEX with a girl with no commitment. Call her at 2am when the bars close and "hang out" for a few hours, maybe :wink:
---Andrew
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I know so many nice guys who have problems finding women who want more than a "fuck buddy" relationship.
*raises his hand*
Although my problem is different...lol 8)
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i wish there were more girls around here that were just looking for cheap sex.
---Andrew
You might want to move a little bit north then Andrew, there are a lot of those girls round these parts :roll:. That said, you would have to tolerate their obsessions with Ja Rule and 50 Cent, but they are here. LOL
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lmao Andrew... thats what i'm doing... dating! i know its fun, but i cant hold his hand or stuff if i'm not 100% sure i want to commit with him!
you make it sound so serious! calm down, lol. and the way it works atleast with all the people i know, is the guy does ask the girl if she wants to go out with him whether its after a week or months... thats what happens! and you dont just act like friends and then jump into it... you slowly progress...
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and the way it works atleast with all the people i know, is the guy does ask the girl if she wants to go out with him whether its after a week or months... thats what happens! and you dont just act like friends and then jump into it... you slowly progress...
I wish thats how it worked here, people are just like 'will you go out with me?' but in andrew's post it makes me think that maybe this is just a phase and it will change, even in this weird country!
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Rosie,
Yeah, the way it eventually works when you get older is that you meet someone you find attractive, you go out on an official date, at that point it is known you are dating, you hookup a few times, usually sex is involved, after about 2 months you sit down and discuss where the relationship is going (ie. mutually exclusive) and then progress from there. In theory anyways. Its never that simple though :wink:
So Holly, if someone asked you if you were DATING him you would say YES? and if someone asked him if he were DATING you, he would say YES?
If so, then things are going fine and I misunderstood.
Is this our first ever NH.com official dating experiement? Since Tricia never kept us updated on hers, I think we need Holly to give us weekly updates. Ney! I demand it! :wink:
---Andrew
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You might want to move a little bit north then Andrew, there are a lot of those girls round these parts :roll:. That said, you would have to tolerate their obsessions with Ja Rule and 50 Cent, but they are here. LOL
LOL. Brian, I dont care what kinda music the listen to cause I wont be around'em that long! :wink:
---Andrew
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did i ever say we were going out? lol... NO
i said i'm dating him... he's not my boyfriend! and maybe the whole 2 month hook up thing is what you do when you get older... but we're only 17, it's different for people in highschool! like for example, this guy my friend has been seeing for a month is about to ask her if she would like to be his girlfriend... thats how it works for us!
i like this guy... he's cool, a bit immature at times... but if he can stop that, sure i'd go out with him, but i want my bf to be someone who i can act my age with... lol
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You might want to move a little bit north then Andrew, there are a lot of those girls round these parts :roll:. That said, you would have to tolerate their obsessions with Ja Rule and 50 Cent, but they are here. LOL
LOL. Brian, I dont care what kinda music the listen to cause I wont be around'em that long! :wink:
---Andrew
hmmm... i thought you said guys were the ones looking for relationships! lmao
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hmmm... i thought you said guys were the ones looking for relationships! lmao
Oh, good god no. In general, men aren't looking for a relationship, just booty :wink:
---Andrew
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did i ever say we were going out? lol... NO
i said i'm dating him... he's not my boyfriend!
Wait, im confused here. Did I ever say he was your boyfriend? I just asked if you two were dating. And you just said, yes you are. Question answered :)
And Holly, you're 17 years old. At this point, you should be out of the whole Jr high dating ritual. I know I was by that age. By the time I was 15 I was over that whole "ask her is she would like to be his girlfriend" thing. Maybe me and my friends jumped the gun on growing up. Maybe we were the weird ones.
This is a good question for the panel. At what age did you have your first mature relationship? I want ages and grades from EVERYONE :wink:
---Andrew
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Woah! So much to reply to... I guess it also depends on how things are done where you live huh? Here you hmm usually hook up first. It can end there or if both are interested, you start seeing each other at other times rather than just drunk Saturday nights, go for coffee, hang out, whatever. If that becomes a regular activity then you either assume you're going out or talk about it and decide you're going out. However, it doesn't go on for as long as months, it happens in weeks, maybe just one week. If you hookup and don't know for sure if you want a relationship it can either end there or you can keep seeing each other on Sat nights, occasionally, and then decide... dunno if it makes any sense lol but it's the way things work here. That's at 18. At 15 a girl would still expect to hear "will you go out with me?" to know it's official and to consider it a relationship.
Usually it's the guys who don't want to move on and just wanna keep seeing the girl and hooking up on Sats, while the girls want to keep seeing the guys and slowly develop into a relationship... I have to say, the "dating" concept is not understood here. If you start seeing someone regularly then he's your bf, not someone you're "dating"
Is this our first ever NH.com official dating experiement? Since Tricia never kept us updated on hers, I think we need Holly to give us weekly updates. Ney! I demand it!
Yes, we want updates! :D
This is a good question for the panel. At what age did you have your first mature relationship? I want ages and grades from EVERYONE
LOL Mature? what does that mean?? :wink:
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At 15 a girl would still expect to hear "will you go out with me?" to know it's official and to consider it a relationship.
Thank bloody god, i am normal- lmao. The dating thing isn't done here either nerea, as we have so wonderfully learnt from two certain boys...
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At 15 a girl would still expect to hear "will you go out with me?" to know it's official and to consider it a relationship.
Thank bloody god, i am normal- lmao. The dating thing isn't done here either nerea, as we have so wonderfully learnt from two certain boys...
LOL yes, you are normal! (well as normal as you can be... :P) 2 certain boys?? *confused* I can think of one, but the other...? *still confused* lol
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At 15 a girl would still expect to hear "will you go out with me?" to know it's official and to consider it a relationship.
Thank bloody god, i am normal- lmao. The dating thing isn't done here either nerea, as we have so wonderfully learnt from two certain boys...
LOL yes, you are normal! (well as normal as you can be... :P) 2 certain boys?? *confused* I can think of one, but the other...? *still confused* lol
Our chums F and A neri!! Don't make me sing your faaaaaaaaavourite song, Fer...hahah. Oh and at what point does it become cool 'going out for coffee' kinda stuff!? lol
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Our chums F and A neri!! Don't make me sing your faaaaaaaaavourite song, Fer...hahah. Oh and at what point does it become cool 'going out for coffee' kinda stuff!? lol
aaaah, F you were talking about? haha there's so many boys I couldn't think of which... :wink: No no & no!! don't you dare sing that song!!
Lol is going out for coffee supposed to be cool? I thought it was very popular in Spain cos we're a coffee drinking nation, never considered it cool!
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Our chums F and A neri!! Don't make me sing your faaaaaaaaavourite song, Fer...hahah. Oh and at what point does it become cool 'going out for coffee' kinda stuff!? lol
aaaah, F you were talking about? haha there's so many boys I couldn't think of which... :wink: No no & no!! don't you dare sing that song!!
Lol is going out for coffee supposed to be cool? I thought it was very popular in Spain cos we're a coffee drinking nation, never considered it cool!
lol. Going out for Coffee is trendy here too, thanks to Starbucks. Not that I mind... i'm definitly a coffee drinker. Although thats a recent trend out here in the midwest.
---Andrew
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shut up about the whole "it's a junior high thing to ask to go out"
just because thats not how YOU did it doesnt mean people are immature if they do.... thats how everyone my age and even in their 20's does it around here! i like to have solidarity in relationships, and if anyone asks me if he's my boyfriend, i want to be able to give a firm yes or no... it would suck if lets say one of us considered us bf/gf and told everyone that and then the other one didnt. why spend the whole time wondering i the other person feels the same way or not?!
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Our chums F and A neri!! Don't make me sing your faaaaaaaaavourite song, Fer...hahah. Oh and at what point does it become cool 'going out for coffee' kinda stuff!? lol
aaaah, F you were talking about? haha there's so many boys I couldn't think of which... :wink: No no & no!! don't you dare sing that song!!
Lol is going out for coffee supposed to be cool? I thought it was very popular in Spain cos we're a coffee drinking nation, never considered it cool!
my first date with this guy was going out for coffee... it's a popular thing to do here too!
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it would suck if lets say one of us considered us bf/gf and told everyone that and then the other one didnt. why spend the whole time wondering i the other person feels the same way or not?!
yes i must say from experience, that does royally suck
I'm 22 and i still think its adorable if a guy asks me to
be his gf...if i feel the same way of course. The wishy washiness of so called "adult" boyz is highly annoying.
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shut up about the whole "it's a junior high thing to ask to go out"
just because thats not how YOU did it doesnt mean people are immature if they do.... thats how everyone my age and even in their 20's does it around here! i like to have solidarity in relationships, and if anyone asks me if he's my boyfriend, i want to be able to give a firm yes or no... it would suck if lets say one of us considered us bf/gf and told everyone that and then the other one didnt. why spend the whole time wondering i the other person feels the same way or not?!
go holly go! yea I also prefer something like a discussion instead of wondering.
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yes! i would feel horrible is lets say the guy said that we were bf/gf and i didnt think so... or if i thought we were bf/gf and the guy didnt... either way that sux!
the most important thing in a relationship is communication... and the thing couples need to talk about the most is their status and relationship with eachother. and what better way to make it more clear then asking the person out so you both can be SURE about where eachother are
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ROFL.
You girls want the world, but you want US to do all the work for it.
If he introduces you to his friends, his parents, or hold hands with you in public, then hes your boyfriend. Period.
If he calls you at 2am on a sat, always orders in and never takes you out in public, then you're his booty call.
If I have to spell that out for a girl, then shes not worth my time anyways.
I dont want this to turn into a big argument, but its real easy for you girls to say all these things you want to happen in a dating situation, but what you are really saying is all the things you want the GUY to do.
---Andrew
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Yeah not talking about exclusivity is bad...but booty calls are cool!
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"You girls want the world, but you want US to do all the work for it."
now whats wrong with that??? :wink:
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its not like girls just sit back and watch the guys do everything in a relationship, i've taken him out and invited him places as well as him taking me out! but guys are the ones who ask a girl to marry him, to be his gf... etc! sometimes its the otherway... but only really bold girls do that, and i'm definatly shy
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lol, ok, now i need to make him realize that i dont want a relationship and just want to be friends
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If he...never takes you out in public, then you're his booty call.
---Andrew
Ah-ha. That's what I thought.
The backstory:
I'm currently auditioning a certain boy for the part of Fresh Lettuce's Bed Buddy. nikkee seems to think he should be spending $$$ on me because it's a pain in the ass for me to see him. He lives in the city and I do not. It obviously costs money for me to travel into the city and I've even brought alcohol on one occasion.
I feel uncomfortable requesting that he take me out since we're not in a relationship -- and I clearly do not want a boyfriend right now. Then again, nikkee has a point in that I've made things soooo easy for him by simply being available and willing.
What's a girl to do? :?
I seek advice from the very vocal ladies and men of this thread. :P
One other thing. We've spent more time in bed than out and about being buddies. How do I get him to be more of a friend to me? I do not have enough guy friends. He'd qualify wonderfully for such a role because we get along, I feel comfortable around him, and he doesn't annoy me.
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Hmmmm.....
Ok, Freshie... you can't have it both ways. You either want a booty call or you want a relationship. If you want a booty call, then you're not allowed to EXPECT anything from him in the way of behavior or monetary gifts.
Here is why. He has no motivation to do anything for you. In a guys mind, if you're not his GF then you have no leverage to boss him around.
The only way you can exert this kind of control over him is to withold sex... which means you are punishing yourself as well and it defeats the entire purpose of keeping him around.
The moment you tell him that he has to take you out and spend money on you, you are telling him you want a REAL relationship.
AND you also can't be good friends with someone you're sleeping with because SOMEONE always gets too attached (90% of the time its the female, but sometimes its the guy). Booty calls only work if you aren't good friends and you're just two people who get a long ok.
The way I see it, there are two components to a lasting relationship. Friendship and sex. A significant other is just a close friend you're sleeping with.
In other words, pick one; friend or hookup, and move on.
---Andrew
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Hmmmm.....
Ok, Freshie... you can't have it both ways. You either want a booty call or you want a relationship. If you want a booty call, then you're not allowed to EXPECT anything from him in the way of behavior or monetary gifts.
Here is why. He has no motivation to do anything for you. In a guys mind, if you're not his GF then you have no leverage to boss him around.
The only way you can exert this kind of control over him is to withold sex... which means you are punishing yourself as well and it defeats the entire purpose of keeping him around.
The moment you tell him that he has to take you out and spend money on you, you are telling him you want a REAL relationship.
AND you also can't be good friends with someone you're sleeping with because SOMEONE always gets too attached (90% of the time its the female, but sometimes its the guy). Booty calls only work if you aren't good friends and you're just two people who get a long ok.
The way I see it, there are two components to a lasting relationship. Friendship and sex. A significant other is just a close friend you're sleeping with.
In other words, pick one; friend or hookup, and move on.
---Andrew
Thanks for the advice, Andrew. I really needed the guy perspective on things. I'm looking at things more objectively now and have an idea of how to handle the situation better.
Thanks again! :)