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Other Topics => Creative Endeavors => Topic started by: JazzyManda on June 04, 2003, 10:40:50 am

Title: here's my poem..
Post by: JazzyManda on June 04, 2003, 10:40:50 am

this is the first poem i've ever written, i wrote it last night. tell me what you think. it probably seems a little amature, well that's because i've never written a poem before. lol. tell me what you think

btw, i don't have a title for it, i don't know what to call it


She was hurt
It had happened before

A secret
She couldn’t tell
Wouldn’t tell

A boy
Her friend
Found her secret
Saw here secret

He was scared
Angry that he didn’t know
Didn’t understand
It was a mess

Blind
How could he not see?
It was right there
How could he not see?

Wanted
He wanted to do something
Had to do something

He cried
It wasn’t fair
She didn’t deserve
It wasn’t right

He told
She didn’t want
But he told them

They were concerned
They cared
He cared

A call
They called

Away
They took the evil away from her

Gone
The evil was gone

Scared
She was still scared

Finally
It was over
Finally
It was finally over




whatchya think?
Amanda

Title: Look mommy it's shake n' bake and I helped
Post by: Alecs on June 04, 2003, 10:43:09 am

I love it Amanda. For your 1st one you're off to a good start :D

Title: here's my poem..
Post by: JazzyManda on June 04, 2003, 10:45:03 am

thanx Alecs.  :D

Title: Amanda
Post by: topher8467 on June 04, 2003, 11:25:32 am

That is excellent.

Knowing the story behind it, I really admire you for writing it.

Topher

Title: here's my poem..
Post by: Tiger Baby on June 04, 2003, 02:10:15 pm

good, I like it, Amanda! :)

Andrea

Title: still loving it...
Post by: Alecs on June 06, 2003, 03:38:12 am

:)

Title: here's my poem..
Post by: Tia on June 11, 2003, 10:51:00 am

it's great!
keep writing  :D

Title: My point exactly
Post by: topher8467 on June 11, 2003, 11:10:30 am

Quote from: "Miss T"

it's great!
keep writing  :D

Here here; keep writing!  :oops:

Topher