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Other Topics => Creative Endeavors => Topic started by: Ms.Redd on June 11, 2003, 09:19:27 am

Title: Road Love
Post by: Ms.Redd on June 11, 2003, 09:19:27 am

Quiet thoughts only we think
Race through our heads at different moments
Not speaking but sharing the same ones
Of times gone and past
Dreaming of them and reliving them
All alone and only with you
Then all alone again with only a grin
And a frown.
You are an image of my imagination
Once there and now gone
And a love I'll have to wait for
After a red light finally
Turns green

Title: Road Love
Post by: Logikal X on June 11, 2003, 09:30:03 am

*holds up a card that says 8.6* hehe

its pretty good, i like the metaphor at the end...I would say to add more imagery to the emotional descriptions.  hope you like my advice :mrgreen:

Title: Road Love
Post by: Ms.Redd on June 12, 2003, 08:27:04 am

*always likes Pete's advice*

...

*jumps around in silly dance parading her 8.6 card*

haha  

:mrgreeeeeeeeeen: :mrgreen:

haha

Title: Road Love
Post by: Logikal X on June 12, 2003, 08:33:35 am

lol, you are silly


*holds up a 10 for the show you just put on*  :razz:


:mryelloooooooooooowwww:  :D

Title: ummmmmmmmmmm
Post by: Alecs on June 12, 2003, 09:36:56 am

"And a love I'll have to wait for
After a red light finally
Turns green"

Totally smooth....

2 thumbs up from Alecs and Spreadhead
 :wink:

Title: Re: ummmmmmmmmmm
Post by: Ms.Redd on June 12, 2003, 02:06:19 pm

Quote from: "Alecs"

2 thumbs up from Alecs and Spreadhead
 :wink:

erhm.... Excuse me but, uh, Alecs? ... "Spreadhead"???

hahahaha

Title: Road Love
Post by: Jophess on June 12, 2003, 07:17:04 pm

Wow, that's beautiful. I like it. *holds up card with 8.2*

If there's one thing, you could work on the flow.