NESSAholics.com
Other Topics => Completely Off-Topic => Topic started by: Blake on September 18, 2003, 09:06:21 am
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Why people want to fit in line.
You know everyone goes to the same store and buys the same clothes and talks about the same thing, and have the same little clich of friends.
A kid told me today, he was talking about something we do in 3rd period, and he said, Rob thinks you gay.
Now if you don't know, I don't dress in abercrombie, holister, american eagle, or any of that...I wear LP shirts and paint my finger nails black.
Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with people who do, anyone who is cool with me, I can be cool with.
But that kid(J) said that Rob said that J was gay too, or atleast he thought. And he seemed like he was going to die, because someone thought he wasn't "COOL."
Who is Rob to judge, and who is he to make the calls in the first place? First off, if someone want's to be gay, that is their own business, and it will not matter to me.
Second, WHY ARE PEOPLE DEVISTATED when they don't get the "COOL" label from the "COOL" people?!?! I think it is nuts that people think they have to be perfect in the eyes of everyone...
I mean of course my argument is going to sound weird, probably tons of grammar mistakes, because I woke up 5 minutes ago. Anyways...I still don't see it.
When that kid told me what
to be continued
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You paint your fingernails black?
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I am about to study conformity in pyschology. I'll let you know when i have an answer. lol
And don't worry about those people, thats why i think its kinda important to have a uniform in your early school years. But just know that in the end you will win over these people, because you have the strength to know who you are.
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everyone wants to be wanted by someone...accepted by people. If you say it doesn't matter, or think it doesn't matter, deep down it does.
Some people say what people think, doesn't matter to them. In reality it does matter, you want to have friends you want to laugh with people, you want to be wanted.
High School is one big popularity, most of that is because people don't know how to achieve making friends at this age....Also all the abercrombie is "a sign of wealth"...if you have money to buy top dollar, you are top dollar.
It's kinda weird at my school. Like we have the preps, but most people are anti-prep. The prep's act like top dollar arogant assholes, most of them at least....which also puts sterotyping in place.
I am gonna stop now, because i have no clue if any of that makes sense.
but i will end with my favorite quote "what we call human nature in actuallityis human habit" - Jewel
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I think it is nuts that people think they have to be perfect in the eyes of everyone...
*claps* Glad you think that too. I've told ya before I have nothing against people who paint their fingernails black or people who choose to wear their pants at their ankles... Its just not what floats my boat. So I wear something else in order not to drown myself. ;) ha ha
Honestly, I just dress for myself. If I think that Abercromie hoodie is cute, kudos! And I didn't even spend the moo-lah on it myself either! (LOL!)
But like, okay. Today, I couldn't really give a crap. Think I'm dirty go ahead, but I didn't feel like showering JUST to go sit in fronta a computer today for three hours, so I didn't bother showering. I didn't run a sweaty marathon earlier, I didn't wear the same underware, ... Just didn't shower in the morning.
And what I'm wearing ain't all that lovely either. I'm wearing a XXL t-shirt I have from my boyfriend, over that my blah school shirt, and extremely broke-in sandals khaki-corderoy pants that don't look the best on me when worn with the rest of my "ensemble".
Do I worry about if other people are snickering at me? A little. Does it rack my brain every minute I'm sitting here? Nope.
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It seems that *MY* parents think this way:
Preps are people who do drugs. I shouldn't like them.
Skaters are people who do drugs. I shouldn't like them.
Teachers are people who do drugs. Only like the old foh-gies who are most likely stuck in the "drugs are bad" era.
....
LOL!
Not that I've never had many friends, I think I've had plenty of friends. But for example, the other day on the bus downtown another guy who goes to LifeSkills with me gets on and we start talking. Somehow it came up and he asked me if I missed my friends from my other school I just transferred from. I said not really. He goes oh, you didn't have friends? and he looks at me funny. I looked at him back and said Yes I DID have friends, but I never did anything with them. He goes yeah you didn't have any friends. I didn't bother arguing with the guy, but I just told him my parents are strict, and I never did much with anyone FROM school OUTSIDE of school. He goes OOoooh.
I agree, it is petty when your world "blows up" because you didn't have the "right" friends.
Honestly, my only friends are family and my boyfriend/soon to be husband. No one is close to me more then them. Does it bother me? A little because we've all got our own lives... But I don't let it bug me enough to where I go searching for more available friends. I guess I'm just happy with what I got.
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everyone wants to be wanted by someone...accepted by people. If you say it doesn't matter, or think it doesn't matter, deep down it does.
Well honestly to me it doesn't. I have a good number of friends, I mean tons, and their the type of people who will like someone for who they are, not for how they dress, and act, that is in a certain sense. Of course they wouldn't wanna hang around someone who thinks it is funny to shoot spitballs, but their not gonna reject them because their not snotty like them...It's just weird to me.
I mean no matter what, those snotty kids arn't gonna take away my true friends, and their not gonna stop me from making friends...Just like today, I started talking to a freshman in PE and we snapped immediatly, he's a really cool kid!
I don't know, i'm feeling sick and it's hard to think...
PS the reason I said, "to be continued" was I was typing that up at lunch and I had to run...
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i hear ya, i mean... i cant sit here and say i dont wear some hollister or whatever other brand name clothes but i dont wear them to fit in or be cool, i wear what i like- its as simple as that. If i feel like wearing pajamas to school (not the ones i wore to bed mind u hehe) then i do... i honestly dont care, whatevers comfortable is cool with me. As far people being called gay- that can be sooo unbelievably disrespectful, if you're gay so what, i dont walk around telling people i'm straight, and if they arent gay thats so wrong to assume just because of a persons actions or how they dress... ugh thats sucha peeve of mine. I'm soooo over that trying to fit in thing, i have a great group of friends, and as long as u have some great friends, it shouldnt matter what other ppl think. If people want to go and make fun of other people its only because they're insecure with themselves so they make fun of others to make themselves feel better and cuz they dont have a life of otheir own so they get involved in other ppls.
Anyways- DM i <3 ya and i'm glad that you stand up for urself and dont let others bring ya down... you're great... i just wish other ppl wouldnt let things like that get to them so much, but if only the "bullies" would mind their own business.
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Yeah Gina...It's stupid because that is most people's greatest thing--If they call someone gay...They think they've won....so stupid...
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Also, I can say, I'm not hard core, all black decked out, I wear what I like too, not usually stuff from a&f but I do have one shirt from there, but I bought that 3 years ago I think...cause it said "Nice Rack" and I loved it! haha I hardly wear it though cause it's yellow! akkk!
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Yeah Gina...It's stupid because that is most people's greatest thing--If they call someone gay...They think they've won....so stupid...
:cry: makes me so sad when i hear things like that, seeings as one of my best friends in the whole world is gay, goodness i can't stand when people have sucha big problem with it, and i you do, atleast have the decency to not speak of it.
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You paint your fingernails black?
Does it matter?
Vanessa said herself paint it black[/i]
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Yeah Gina...It's stupid because that is most people's greatest thing--If they call someone gay...They think they've won....so stupid...
:cry: makes me so sad when i hear things like that, seeings as one of my best friends in the whole world is gay, goodness i can't stand when people have sucha big problem with it, and i you do, atleast have the decency to not speak of it.
Yeah, how can they think they have the right to control them...
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i have no idea... thats why i completely agree with you that i will never understand those people :(
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Yep...
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well see, you have friends...you feel accepted at least somewhere...
i have odd friends...and none of them are normal and like none fit main stream....
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but you've understood one thing that will take many people many years, if they ever, to figure out....
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Yeah Gina...It's stupid because that is most people's greatest thing--If they call someone gay...They think they've won....so stupid...
:cry: makes me so sad when i hear things like that, seeings as one of my best friends in the whole world is gay, goodness i can't stand when people have sucha big problem with it, and i you do, atleast have the decency to not speak of it.
Yeah, how can they think they have the right to control them...
it's a fear of the unknown. It might change, but it will take like 100 years. It's hard when your friends, cousins, any one you like to talk to is gay, and everyone around you can't respect that. Gina it must be esp. hard for you to hear it too.
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It seems that *MY* parents think this way:
Preps are people who do drugs. I shouldn't like them.
Skaters are people who do drugs. I shouldn't like them.
Teachers are people who do drugs. Only like the old foh-gies who are most likely stuck in the "drugs are bad" era.
....
LOL!
Not that I've never had many friends, I think I've had plenty of friends. But for example, the other day on the bus downtown another guy who goes to LifeSkills with me gets on and we start talking. Somehow it came up and he asked me if I missed my friends from my other school I just transferred from. I said not really. He goes oh, you didn't have friends? and he looks at me funny. I looked at him back and said Yes I DID have friends, but I never did anything with them. He goes yeah you didn't have any friends. I didn't bother arguing with the guy, but I just told him my parents are strict, and I never did much with anyone FROM school OUTSIDE of school. He goes OOoooh.
I agree, it is petty when your world "blows up" because you didn't have the "right" friends.
Honestly, my only friends are family and my boyfriend/soon to be husband. No one is close to me more then them. Does it bother me? A little because we've all got our own lives... But I don't let it bug me enough to where I go searching for more available friends. I guess I'm just happy with what I got.
Well thats good that you are happy with what ya got. Thats all that matters:).If you are happy then everyone else is happy for ya
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hmm I heard someone talking on the radio, and they said something that made me think of it this way...
"If your not like them, then your 'weird'."
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everyone wants to be wanted by someone...accepted by people. If you say it doesn't matter, or think it doesn't matter, deep down it does.
Well honestly to me it doesn't.
I hate to say it, but i don't believe that. The reason why you say it doesn't matter is because you do have friends, and you are liked in some respect. If you had none of those things, you would want to be wanted. Do you see that? It is only because you have these things that you feel like you don't need them. As our Nessa and CC said: " You don't know what you've got till its gone."
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Interesting...
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I agree, this is a very interesting subject. (Might need to split it off into a thread of it's own... it is thread worthy!?)
I enjoy being alone most of the time and am very selective with who I consider "friends" and who i consider an "aquaintenance." Then the individuals I speak with online are in a whole different category. I really don't care what people think about me, if they think i'm weird, or odd, or a freak... if they have those pre-conceived ideas or thoughts towards me, then they wouldn't be a very good friend for *me* to have and i don't care to associate with them. I do, however, care about those I consider my friends and what their opinions or thoughts are about me.
So along the lines of what the above people have said, sure I do wish to be accepted by people i respect and wish to befriend... however as for the common public? I really don't care. On average, I'm not a very emotional person, so that could be what provoked part of my thoughts on this subject.
hrm :)
-katia
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Very well put.
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i think being a "loner" and wanting to be accepted by people are two different things myself...
like when i am alone, i love it, i don't need the world, i just need me and space. Although I have to say, I would also like to be accepted by people, even sometimes for the wrong reasons.
I don't have many friends, but i do have a lot of people i hang out with. Some people online i do tend to consider friends, some I am closer to then people i know personally...Different people have different needs and wants.
When it comes down to it, I think everyone cares what people say about them...You may say you don't but there will usually be a little piece in you saying "what's wrong with me?" ya know?
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When it comes down to it, I think everyone cares what people say about them...You may say you don't but there will usually be a little piece in you saying "what's wrong with me?" ya know?
I disagree. People i don't respect, or care about, or like at all... i don't care what they say about me. It doesn't affect me emotionally or personally in anyway. That might be due to my lack of emotions, i think you may be correct for other people, i just know for me... I have no feelings when it comes to that :)
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sure I do wish to be accepted by people i respect and wish to befriend... however as for the common public? I really don't care.
I agree, the desire to be accepted by people in a general sense goes away once you're out of high school - once you have the freedom to do your own thing, the only person you need to impress is yourself...and it's much easier to make yourself happy than everyone else...
the problem is, in high school you're forced to spend a large amount of time with people you would probably not associate with if you didn't have to...
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sure I do wish to be accepted by people i respect and wish to befriend... however as for the common public? I really don't care.
I agree, the desire to be accepted by people in a general sense goes away once you're out of high school - once you have the freedom to do your own thing, the only person you need to impress is yourself...and it's much easier to make yourself happy than everyone else...
the problem is, in high school you're forced to spend a large amount of time with people you would probably not associate with if you didn't have to...
I agree, i had something very interesting happen to me last night..
My house mate has a good friend still in highschool... they're going through that whole, homecoming thing... a tradition I am not to familiar with. I guess people setup floats, drive them around, watch a football game... lots of fun i suppose. It's weird to think i'm only 4 or 5 years older than these individuals, however the perception on life has changed so much in those years for me.
So i'm sitting with my housemate, and his friend, and they want to go get some food, but don't want to lose the seats. Supposedly the people behind us and around us are all the really "popular" kids in school. I say, go ahead and go... i'll wait here and save the seats. After i said this, i got this shocked look like "you're committing popularity suicide to be seen here, alone!" To which i promptly responded... "I have no concern, on any level, what these people think about me... if they judge me because I am saving seats for my friends, then they have a lot to learn about life."
I think that goes along with what you were mentioning Kilgore... there is so much pressure in HS, and I think I probably thought the same things they did during the 2 years i actually went to HS... however now, *shrug*, there are far more important things in life that i now spend time worrying about. Like being there for my friends, being a stable person in their life if they need me, waiting all night at the hospital while one is having a baby so I can be there when they come downstairs scared, nervous and excited at the same time. Those are the things that really matter to me.
-katia
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people who put other people down just have a problem with them selves... theyre so insecure that they have to lower themselves to that level, its a sad thing.
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hmm this is interesting...
I personally am very aware that I am very affected by what people think of me. I'm neurotic in the sense that I always think people are talking about me behind my back and finding flaws about me. I think its just my sensitive personality...but I guess it could be to do with the fact that I'm in high school too...considering I'm smack dab in the middle of it right now. But, most of my best friends, the ones that I really connect with, are in university. They're the ones who I'd be truly and extremely upset about if I found out they had found flaws in how I direct my life.
Despite how upset I get about peoples opinions of me I dont let these change how i conduct myself, as much as is conciously possible at least. I dont know if this is the best thing to do, because it is pretty stessful at times...but I'd probably be just as paranoid and therefore upset about peoples opinions even if I did force myself to behave in a way that was completely normal.
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I agree, i had something very interesting happen to me last night..
Hmm, I think I'm just weird. Oh wait, we already know that.
Well I've been trying to double my thinking, make myself phycisifrantic, in a differnt way. I've been trying to act as I normally do, and yet analyze myself and whatever I am doing.
So this is what I have come up with:
I think I don't tend to care what most the people think of me, because as soon as high school is over, the ones I hang around, the ones I've talked to in class, won't remember my name, won't care to talk to me, won't even smile when then pass by.
I think my trying to impress someone would be wasting my time, when I can invest my time in things that will suit me better when later years come. I mean when I'm in a class, unless the person is a good friend of mine I don't tend to talk, unless I am making fun of the teacher.
In first period, PE, I talk to Chuckie, and Turner, that is basically it, their really my friend, and I know that if I was shot or something they'd be at the hospital fast as hell. I don't seem to get the feeling that I should be trying to look cool for the other kids when they'll do nothing for me, and I nothing for them.
In 2nd period, I know almost everyone in their, I'd call them friends, but their really just aquaintenances. I talk in there, but its only to crack jokes, I don't try to impress anyone, I feel no need, I mean some of them are nice people, but they all seem strange.
In 3rd, I'm really just there to make fun of the teacher, I knew some of those people before that class, their aquaintenances too, one kid Chris I'd say is a pretty good friend. Some of those people are evil judgemental! I mean its crazy, I've earned most their ''approval'' though by making fun of the teacher. It's weird to me. If I hate a teacher I make fun of them, they don't know it's happening though. That's my thing, they make me suffer, I make them suffer. But I think it's stupid that I have become ''cool'' to most of them because of that. I've almost completly stopped because it's gotten to be stupid because their really annoying me! I'd say 8 or so of the people who knew me before that class were the ones laughing about my jokes before I became ''cool'' to the rest.
I don't know where I'm going with this but I think I need to stop, I'm tired, my head hurts, and rambling is a habit...