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Other Topics => Creative Endeavors => Topic started by: LimeTwister on June 21, 2004, 12:58:19 pm

Title: tear
Post by: LimeTwister on June 21, 2004, 12:58:19 pm
When I was younger
I knew I’d find you
60 years later
I’m staring at you
On the front porch
Swinging, singing our songs
About when we cared,
About when we dared
To see what was going to happen to us

We rock now,
Rocking back and forth
On our old porch swing
And wonder how everything has changed
And we teach our grandchildren,
Try to prepare them
For life to come

Your old hands, still delicate and sweet
A tear rolls down your loving cheek
A memory of sacrifice and old pain
Has calmed now
It’s settled with the falling rain

Your hand touches my face
I wonder what you’re thinking
Am I still the clumsy man
You married 50 years ago?
Do you still dream of plans
Of living by the old ocean shore?

Silence greets us in the morning
The kids have all grown now
And you’d fill them with love,
All the love you could give
And you hope for the best
For the rest of their years.

Do you still love the field of daisies,
That wide open field?
Are you still trying to steal
A kiss from under the worn sheets?

Your old hands, still delicate and sweet
A tear rolls down your loving cheek
A memory of sacrifice and old pain
Has calmed now
It’s settled with the falling rain

30 years ago we were here
Sitting on our porch as the sun was going down
Talked how we wanted to live
And wanted to give.
You were picking roses
And dancing with the daisies
And you were my lady,
And I was your man.
Your lovely dress was swaying gently
With the wind.
And I remember your hair
So long and brown
Your eyes drowning with tears.
You whispered that this has been your dream
For a million years.

Your old hands, still delicate and sweet
A tear rolls down your loving cheek
A memory of sacrifice and old pain
Has calmed now
It’s settled with the falling rain

You’re out in the field again
Dancing with the daisies
And your dress is flowing with the wind.
And you’re laughing and dancing.
But there’s a tear in your eye again.
Title: tear
Post by: MyLifeIsLikeATM on June 21, 2004, 01:02:55 pm
aww, its so sweet. i like it! good job.

i have a question about the end...this might sound dumb, is she like dead in the end in heaven? or..is it just continuing? kinda lost on that..but otherwise its really good!
Title: tear
Post by: LimeTwister on June 21, 2004, 01:04:16 pm
it was my attempt to bring it back to the present...but she was doing what she did 30 years ago...she's still alive, I think.
Title: tear
Post by: PIBby on June 21, 2004, 01:05:27 pm
A tear rolls down your loving cheek
A memory of sacrifice and old pain
Has calmed now
It’s settled with the falling rain

I love it. Joey, you're amazingly talented. No joke.
Title: tear
Post by: MyLifeIsLikeATM on June 21, 2004, 01:06:24 pm
Quote from: "LimeTwister"
it was my attempt to bring it back to the present...but she was doing what she did 30 years ago...she's still alive, I think.


got it
Title: tear
Post by: Gina on June 21, 2004, 01:12:13 pm
Joseph David... *tears just rolled down my cheek* honestly... that is so good, like Cece said, you are incredibly talented.  :heart:
Title: tear
Post by: jlmusicchick on June 21, 2004, 05:39:04 pm
very nice :-)
Title: tear
Post by: Tia on June 22, 2004, 01:14:44 pm
That is amazing Joey :cry:
Title: tear
Post by: snapple936 on June 22, 2004, 01:16:21 pm
jb that is phenomenal, honestly. SO good. i am super impressed!
Title: tear
Post by: LimeTwister on June 22, 2004, 05:54:45 pm
Thanks everyone!

I tryyyyyyyy, but you just have to let it come.
Title: tear
Post by: Gina on June 23, 2004, 07:55:18 am
:heart:  *reads again*

:sigh:
Title: tear
Post by: rosieposy87 on June 23, 2004, 08:05:34 am
I really love it Joey. You are really very talented- do something with it!
Title: tear
Post by: LimeTwister on June 23, 2004, 08:20:37 am
thanks!

Rosieeee- I'm gonna try.  Eventually, I will get out there.
Title: tear
Post by: vanessafan18 on June 23, 2004, 11:40:43 am
Quote from: "LimeTwister"
thanks!

Rosieeee- I'm gonna try.  Eventually, I will get out there.


Definetly! Like I said before, you have an amazing writing style which is unique that I want  :D hehe. It's beautiful xoxox
Title: tear
Post by: LimeTwister on June 24, 2004, 07:27:01 pm
Georgie--I write like that because I want to be different...like I want everything to be seen in a new light.  So in that poem/lyric I was trying to give a 16 year old's view of a 76 year old's life...It's kinda strange, but that's me...strange.  But you're too kind! and Thanks!
Title: tear
Post by: drumpad on June 30, 2004, 08:59:54 am
that was too good man. I like how u took it to the future w/ that poem of a couple still together
Title: tear
Post by: drumpad on June 30, 2004, 09:00:49 am
that poem was really good joe. I like how u took it to the future, tracking an old couple still together