Topics

46

Creative Endeavors / Missing Out (poem)

« on: June 09, 2004, 06:05:35 pm »

Missing Out

I missed the dances
I missed my chances
I'm single
One friend there
On friend here
The circle hates me
Especially the center
I can't get through
I'm not shy
But yet, I'm always left out
I had many tries
But I wasted my time
I could've done things differently
Made myself prouder
Lived for the moment
I'm too scared
I don't know why
So tell me
Am I missing out?
I just missed my shot
I really think I'm missing out

I can't imagine myself doing such things
Only in fantasies
Popularity...
What does that mean?
I don't do what I'm assumed
My heart screams
JUST SAY IT!
JUST DO IT!
But my damn nerves say no
I'm an OCD freak
Worrier
Somewhat dependent
Overprotected
Secretly insecure
My confidence fronts

I don't stand up to the bitches
They might grow longer nails
Their lipstick only consists of a knife
The burning inside
That's just life
For a raisin girl
I need my comfort
I need to feed
I'll get more self-concious with every bite
It's my choice
My thoughts - they crazily gather
It's crowded in my head
So tell me
Am I missing out?
I truly think I'm missing out

Will the lights ever glow?
Will the music ever flow?
Will I see the look on my face?
Can I achieve
This fantastic dream?
I think I'm really missing out

47

General Vanessa Carlton Discussion / The most beautiful pic of Vanessa

« on: June 05, 2004, 12:35:36 pm »

Post the most beautiful pic of Vanessa in your opinion.

Here's mine:



check the sticky thread -Vulturemod

48

Creative Endeavors / Your Song (poem)

« on: May 31, 2004, 01:25:35 pm »

Your Song

With just one lyric
One sound
She can release your emotion
Music is amazing
Music is miraculous
Music is my heart
Music is our souls
She inspires to no limit
She pours you out
She's addictive
She's contagious
She's in our minds
I felt her in my heart
That beat
Those words
That melody
The voice
The voices
No matter the circumstances
Any song can be your song
Anything on your mind
She can decipher your message
We share a bond with her
And she will never let go
She will always relate
So dont' look far for yourself
She's waiting around the corner
Any song can be your song
"Genius to fall asleep to your tape last night
Sounds go through the muscles."
And any song can be your song

------------------------------------------------------------

"Genius to fall asleep to your tape last night
Sounds go through the muscles." is written by Bjork from her song, "Headphones" on her album, POST

49

Creative Endeavors / But You Said (poem)

« on: May 31, 2004, 01:25:06 pm »

But You Said

We were online
You said you were drunk
I didn't believe it
And it felt as though
You typed slow
The letters formed
3 words too overwhelming for me eyes
"I love you"
I sat in shock
Staring into your text
I wanted to jump through the screen
Kiss you until I can't breathe
Then realized that you might lie
I told you, no
Dont' say unless you mean
You replied with
I'm serious, Julie
I didn't believe you
Now that I reminise
I think it might be true
My analysis exists
But you're not here
It's been over a year
But you said you loved me
But you said, "I love you."
Anothe ronline chat
Again, I sat
Loving each moment of our communication
You playfully fooled me and somehow I just knew the next words
"KISS YOU"
So why didn't you??
I asked you to
I wanted you to
WHY?
I wan it as I want life
ERR!
Fuck you David!
Look what you'd done!
I'm obsessed
But you said you loved me!
But you said you'd kiss me
But you said,
"I love you."
But you said...

50

Creative Endeavors / Can't Sleep At Night (poem)

« on: May 31, 2004, 01:24:14 pm »

Can't Sleep At Night!

Why do you always mock me little boy?
Well, you know I could knock you little boy!
I may be little
But I'm tough
I may not show it
But I can be rough
I'll put you in your place
Make you look at my face
See my discrace of you
How could I have loved you and not realize?
Your true colors - they come and go
But this time I'm truly sayin' no

Yeah, make fun of me
Kiss her lips
Rub it in
But you'll see what'll happen
You'll think about me
All day
You'll get hard at the sight of me
You'll wish for me when you look at her
Your bitterness took it's toll
I'm the only straight girl who'd probably say no
And I hope you roll around in bed
Trying to get me out of your head
You'll toss and turn
The memory of me will forever burn
Yeah, you'll want me back
And I bet you can't sleep at night!

Say it again
Make me feel ugly
You won't change
My self-esteem
I don't follow the flock
And you live by it
What a shame to be of that
You can only be good alone
But around others
You need a thrown

You must think you're slick
You must think you're smooth
I'd laugh if the whole school made fun of you

And I bet you can't sleep at night!

51

Creative Endeavors / Genius (poem)

« on: May 31, 2004, 01:23:35 pm »

Genius

Tori, you amaze me
Everything you say is true
And touches my soul
I'm overwhelmed by your voice and your message
You are a genius

You're beautiful inside and out
Your music is truthful and addictive
Your metaphors are perfect
And you analyze in a way no one else can
You've changed me in so many ways
You're a genius

I met you on that winter day in December
Your blue-green eyes looked into mine
It was bliss
I wanted to freeze that moment
We hugged
I love you
I said
"I love you so much."
Tori Amos,
You're a genius

52

Creative Endeavors / I'm Confused (poem)

« on: May 31, 2004, 01:23:15 pm »

I'm Confused

The first time we talked I had no idea what affect you'd have on my life
The first time you smiled
I melted and fell in love
I don't know if you felt the same
But I know you felt something between us
Because you took your move
And I didn't know what to do
Because we're too different
But does that matter?

We could help each other
I could open your eyes
We could be together forever
But something's always holding me back
You wanted to start and as much as I tried I couldn't do it
I'm in love
And I don't know how or why
You aren't right for me
I'm confused

We had special places
That I can't bring back
I want to return I miss you so much
Your with her and I'm alone
So of course my jealousy takes control
But why am I jealous about what I turned down
Sometimes I'm so dumb
And scared to try

It's taken me a long time to come to terms with my heart's desire to shout out,
I love him!
I love you!, my sugar!
"Just bring me sugar!"

I wish I could just kiss you and get it over with

I'm confused

53

Creative Endeavors / Was That You? (poem)

« on: May 31, 2004, 01:22:54 pm »

Was That You?

Was that you
In the yellow shirt?
Was that you
With the high bonde ponytail and small distinctive eyes?
Was that you reading a book in that chair in that room?
I walked back and forth
Trying to see if infact you were my blankette friend
I could not tell and gave up
To walk to my class
I might be late
How can I think of class in a time like this!?
I tell a short version of our story - my story - whichever
Anyhow, my two new friends listen and say,
"Aw! I'm sorry."
They don't understand the seriousness of our dettachment
I get back to work
And try to paint you
But I can't get your face!
Come to me now before I die right here at this table
I silently cried
I ask God but there's no response for
Was that you I saw?
Was that really you?
Was that you?

A couple of days pass
And she was just a look-alike

54

Creative Endeavors / Only In My Dreams (poem)

« on: May 24, 2004, 11:23:50 am »

Only In My Dreams

I've had this dream for many years
But each time I have it I think it's real
I'm happy in this dream
You're there
I'm there
And we're friends again
A new beginning
And it's hard
The reminise and update is fun
The pain and heartbreak of waking up and realizing it was a dream is unbarable

Sometimes you look different
Sometimes you're the same
You're always there
When I don't think of you during the day
You come to me in my dreams
And I think of you there
When I do think of you during the day
The gold dust comes sparkling back
But it quickly turns dark blue
And then I see you
Again
We're friends
Again
Only in my dreams

I'm always thinking of you
And where you are now
No other friend's come tclose to you
My blankette friend
You are unique
And irreplacable
I still have Charlie
And one time when I held him
I heard you breathe

I miss you so much
It hurts
It hurts and bleeds
Eternally
We didn't...
We could've...
I should've...
You shouldn't've
I need you

Only in my dreams

55

Creative Endeavors / You're Not For Me (poem)

« on: May 24, 2004, 11:23:26 am »

You're Not For Me

A rocky start
A fast move in
You smiled
I melted
That's how it began
We flirt a lot
But not no more
I am gone
And she's who you adore
I watch you
Kissing her
And I know that
I could be her
You asked for me
And I declined
But the interesting thing is
I still wouldn't rewind
I gotta learn to deal with this
We're so different
Not alike
You turn me off
You turn me on
You're a light switch
I want to move on

You're shallow
Then what does that make me?
You're mean
Then what does that make me?
I don't know why I'm so attracted
I hated the way you acted
You're closed minded
I'm open minded
So what does that make us?
A mess!
You're not for me!

I'm not just after your looks
There's an undiscovered love about you
I wish I could let go
But I can't
Believe me
I've called "Talula" ya know?
My knees are weak
And I'm alert
It's hard to walk
I feel the hurt
You smile
I glow
Oh shit
Here we go!

Was he really that special?
Was there any depth?
I quesiton my obsession with all this "passion"
My idol has said and so have I,
"You'll never gain weight from a doughnut hole."
and "Sometimes you're nothing but meat!"
Yes
And you're
No
You're not for me!


--------------

"You'll never gain weight from a doughnut hole." is written by Tori Amos in her song, "Doughnut Song" on her BOYS FOR PELE album.

"Sometimes you're nothing but meat!" is written by Tori Amos in her song, "Blood Roses" on her BOYS FOR PELE album.

56

Creative Endeavors / Stood Up Again

« on: May 20, 2004, 03:16:26 pm »

Stood Up Again

I've seen this before
Tick tock, tick tock
Goes the damn clock
I'm waiting still
It's all too familiar
When will this bullshit ever end?!

Stood up again
Looking at the window
Knowing that you should show
I'm waiting still
You never will

I've seen this before
Tick tock, tick tock
Goes the damn clock
Deja vous anyone?
When will this be done?

Tick tock, tick tock
Goes the damn clock
Stood up
Again

57

Creative Endeavors / I Wonder (poem)

« on: May 15, 2004, 08:03:45 am »

I Wonder

Things are so much better without you
But I always wanna give you a call
But if I did
It would be so overdue
When I left I pretended I didn't care at all

And I wonder if I'll ever see you again
I wonder if I'll hear your voice again
I wonder if I ever cross your mind
I wonder if you're sorry for what you did to me
I wonder if you're sorry for what you've done to me
For eternity
I wonder

I could probably very easily contact you
But I always hesitate to try
Would you reject and I end up dark blue
Or would our bond tie?
The strong, tight knot
Of our friendship we had
Feels like I'm shot
Anytime I think of you and me

Was it our destiny to be apart?
After all that soul and heart
We had
I'm mad
I'm sad
These tears for you
My fears of you
And seeing you again
I do
I don't
I will
I won't
I can't make up my mind
I just keep my wonder

I wonder if our future holds each other
Will it be like you said and we'll be friends forever?
I wonder if you are closer to me than I know
I wonder if you're so far away
I wonder what would've happened if you stayed
I wonder

"I'd be paralyzed if I ran into you
My tongue would seize up if we were to meet again."
The inside jokes that used ot be funny
Now make an ache and pain in a bad way

And I wonder why
Why did it have to be this way?
Couldn't we have worked it out?
We were both young and foolish
So immature

I wonder
I wonder
I
Wonder

I'm just a one armed faery now

I wonder
I wonder


------------------

"I'd be paralyzed if I ran into you
My tongue would seize up if we were to meet again." is written by Alanis Morissette in her song, "Flinch" on her under rug swept album

58

Creative Endeavors / Inspiration (poem)

« on: May 14, 2004, 02:02:06 pm »

Inspiration

I don't know where I'd be
Without you
Everyone gives me that push
Just imagine if everyone was the same
Life would be Hell
We need experiences
Opened doors
Wider ranges
The live life by the second
Consequences gone
Karma is everywhere
Gratefulness lives in all
Appreciation at no limit
Introducing me to great things shows that everyone has purpose
And feel blessed
For this inspiration

59

Creative Endeavors / Eyes

« on: May 14, 2004, 01:44:12 pm »

Eyes

When we locked eyes
It's just too intense
Your gray-blue eyes
Sparkle and reek of desired thoughts
What do my eyes say to your's?
Hopefully they send my arms around your body
Hold in sweet comfort
Ease the pain
Tell me all
Close your eyes
But not too long
For I must see them shine
You have a power over me
That I try to organize
I must realize there is no point in reasoning with love
It's just what it is
Plain and simple
But not at all
Exciting and difficult
Is what it is
Quick, look away
Our eyes are vulnerable
The windows to our souls
The magic of eyes