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Topics - Wagella

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1
Completely Off-Topic / Captain Jean Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise
« on: July 04, 2005, 05:23:26 am »
Captain Jean Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise

2
Completely Off-Topic / 77%
« on: October 10, 2004, 12:23:06 am »
This Country Needs a fucking shake up.

Well the Australian Federal Election is over for another 3 years. John Howard and the Coalition have been returned to power with an even greater margin than before. Yay for us. I didn’t really think I cared what happened on Election Day, I mean a politician is a politician, no matter what party they are from, right? But in the back of my mind I always thought that Labor would win, maybe that’s why I didn’t care. But here we are on the day after the election and I am fucking mad as hell. What is fucking wrong with this country?

John Howard lied to the Australian people about Weapons of Mass Destruction, he lied to the Australian people about the Children overboard affair, he lied to us about fuck knows what else and here he is the returning Australian Prime Minister. Why is this? Why wasn’t there a surge of dissent about his lies, why wasn’t the Coalition trounced by a huge margin? Well if the political advertisements of the election campaign are anything to go by, all Australians care about is interest rates. How much money is the Government going to give them. FUCK THAT SHIT!!! We invaded a country against international law on the basis of a lie and NOBODY FUCKING CARES!!! Jesus, all anybody seems to care about is money. There are more fucking important things than money!! I bet if Labor promised $5 to everybody that voted for them they would be in office right now with the biggest winning margin in Australian history!

What the fuck is wrong with the Australian people? I just read a statistic that 40,000 civilians have died in Iraq since the invasion. 40,000 men woman and children are dead, but who gives a fuck, John Howard promised a .5% drop in interest rates!! Wow we save $30 a month on our mortgage, and all we had to do was ignore a crime against humanity. Sweet fucking deal! If we bomb Iran will I get a $2 a week tax break? I know this Arab down the road; if I kill his dog do I get cheaper private health insurance?

I am not a Labor supporter, but I voted for them anyway. Well that is not really true, I just voted AGAINST the Coalition. I just can’t believe a conservative right wing racist party like the Liberal party is back in. So we can have three more fun years of persecution of gays, discrimination against Aboriginals, racism against Asians and fun right wing ideas like those. Fuck it, why don’t we just start up the White Australia policy again, and go back to regarding Aboriginal people as native fauna. Let’s show America what good little conformists we can be!!

Title taken from the song 77% by The Herd. Listen to it.  

3
Completely Off-Topic / X-ray vision 2. The Wagellaning.
« on: January 16, 2004, 05:38:46 am »
Tia put me on to this story in her thread x-ray vision.

I was bored, so I decided to play around.


Scientists in Russia are baffled by a girl who apparently has X-ray vision and can see inside human bodies.
Reports say 16-year-old Natalia Demkina has been tested by doctors at the children's hospital in Saransk and they can't explain her strange talent.
Natalia, who can describe the inside of bodies in detail, said she was pleased the doctors didn't think she was lying.
But she claims to be worried "that they might be hiding something from me about why I can see through objects".
Spooky talent!
Natalia's apparent spooky talent has caught the imagination of the Russian public.
Her mother, Tatiana Vladimirovna, said: "I knew she was a talented girl. When she started to claim she sees through things, that worried me."


Seriously, when I read that I lost it.

It’s good to know that Russian doctors have so much time to spend checking girls for superpowers. How did the test work anyway? This is how I think the test went:

Doctor 1: Ok Natalia, or as we doctors like to call you when you aren’t around, Transpero-girl, what part of the body am I pointing to now?

Natalia/Transpero-girl: The heart?

Doctor: EHHHH. Wrong. That’s the Aortas Vasculis Magoris you dopy bitch.

Natalia/Dopy bitch: You know I can see through stuff right? Are you wearing an “I love Monster truckin’ and giving my cousin interfamily lovin'” T-shirt under that lab coat?

Doctor: Of course not, I……Damn those super powers! Tell anyone bitch, and I’m gonna give you 10cc’s of ass whipping STAT!


Also, what the fuck does she mean by saying that the doctors are hiding the reason she can see through objects from her? Paranoid much? Maybe she thinks that the doctors are going to work out the secret of her powers and use it for evil?

The reason that this report is most likely a hoax is the fact that along with this story, there are no other reports of ninja crime being foiled by a masked female avenger. Obviously if you have superpowers, you are going to go out and punch evil in the face. It’s like in the constitution or something.

The report goes on to say:

"Casual observer and internet personality Wagella said "Well the X-ray vision didn't bother me as it seemed to her mother, but when she bench pressed the truck I started to get a little nervous."

He went on to add "By the time the heat ray eyes started, I was already down the block teaming up with Captain Doom and Destructo-man to plot her downfall."

He then mused "Hmm, where the hell did I stick all my Kryptonite?"


Anyway, thanks Tia for giving me something to laugh at. And to all you wannabe superheroes out there, you are just one radioactive explosion or Cosmic Meteor strike away from donning lycra tights and kicking villainy in the balls. Keep Dreaming!

Wagella out.

4
Well I am back after an extended leave. If you dont remember/know who I am, my name is Wagella. I specialise in the fields of:

1.Constantly and pointlessly referencing ninja.
2.Making fun of Andrew.
3.Constantly and pointlessly referencing Andrew.
4.Forgetting why I started this thread in the firstplace.
5.Thats pretty much it.

Anyway, look forward to ignoring bucketfulls of random posts about Aquaman and how much I want to have sex with Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Bye.

5
Since I am a obnoxious bastard, I figured I would pimp my site. Because I have just written the best article of all time. I have written a review of ninjas. You heard correct, ninjas. Go and read it now.

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Who would win?

I bet the admin.

Can you set one up? I'll bring the kick ass ninja.

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Introduce Yourself / I'm Wagella. If you dont know me....
« on: March 15, 2003, 09:53:52 pm »
I'm the guy that talks about ninja, and makes crap jokes.

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General Vanessa Carlton Discussion / Here is todays thought
« on: September 07, 2002, 08:21:41 am »
I was watching one of the Rambo movies on cable today,
and I noticed something in it that is sadly lacking
in modern cinema.

The punch noise.

What is the punch noise you ask?
You didnt ask, well I will tell you anyway.

The punch noise occured often in eighties action films.
It was a sound effect produced when someone punched
someone else in the face. Nowdays you will be lucky to hear
even a small noise when a punch goes down. But in the eighties,
the punch sound was so loud that it broke several windows in my house.
Judging by the volume of the eighties punch sound, anyone being
hit was by a miraculous coincidence, next door to an off screen
rail yard, where 2 trains collided with a ball bearing filled
plane, while a thermo nuclear warhead was hit by
a semi-trailer full of fire crackers.

If a person was hit by the amount of force reqired to generate that
noise, their head would instantly turn to liquid, while the hand
doing the punching dropped out of warp speed into a sun.

Does anyone else miss the punch sound?




Just a pointless random thought of mine.

9
Aren't you lucky, or more acuaretly scared?

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