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Topics - aVriL1036

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1
Creative Endeavors / "Blinded"
« on: August 26, 2003, 03:03:30 am »
I was contented then by the embrace of gloominess
Satisfied by the silence played in a chasm
Still, there's the yearning of a better mask
A chance to see a better view
Not just behind cloaks to conceal emotions
Not just allowing myself to be hoodwinked
Up to an age of forever
Now light had been finally granted
But it's too bright to show the words of my eyes
Too glaring to notice the songs of the soul
It blinded my willingness to be free
For the truth holds me back every time I tried

Too foolish to believe in a living sweet nightmare
I return to my own shadow
Back to where I belong
I would sing again my melancholic quietness
Dance with my chosen curse...
For brightness is too innocent
I won't let go...
Even though all this time,
I was already left... alone.

-- Avril Fortuna --

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Creative Endeavors / "Awaken"
« on: August 26, 2003, 02:52:58 am »
The mild wind stirs me
The harsh aches wake me.

The howls of the past sway me
The memory of you wrecks me.

But I have awakened
From the spell you have crafted.
I have calmed the storm that you've cursed to me.
I am a prisoner no more.

Adios to the endless pain
There's healing in an embrace.

Farewell to the nipping cold
There's warmth in a smile.

There is an unscathed beauty
Within.
There's an inner joy
Within.

I will start anew
In my peaceful solitude.
A chapter ends
But a new one begins.
My reality begins.

-- Avril Fortuna --

3
Creative Endeavors / "Facade"
« on: August 26, 2003, 02:44:54 am »
A pool of denial
I drown from it
Each time I catch a glimpse of your face
I am enslaved by your lies
Pretending you're nothing but a friend
Avoiding my bursting feelings
And hiding underneath Deception's maskk
I have fallen for you
For that, I am faced by Guilt
For keeping my mouth shut
For silencing myself of you
And denying my heart's passions
I break down... I fall... in frustration
Upset and humbled
For I know
That I cannot colour myself with another shade
That I cannot disguise myself with another lie
Or bring my heart's longings to a halt
I cannot defy myself once more
I keep running back to you.

-- Avril Fortuna --

4
Creative Endeavors / "Masquerade"
« on: August 26, 2003, 02:37:28 am »
Stares of daggers dance in such hollowness
Words of hatred sing a better melody
Anger is evident in a perfect face
Revenge is then set for me

Sweet tears caressed down your cheeks
A healthful life touching the earth
Perhaps it would wash away the guilt
Cleanse every single dirt

A monstrous angel is what you finally see
I know I am what you think
Such masterpiece is perfect
A painful memory of me.

-- Avril Fortuna --

5
Creative Endeavors / Weary
« on: June 01, 2003, 07:31:07 pm »
Weary is the word I use to describe me tonight.
The stars offer a deep sadness and the wind offers no solace.
Yes, I am tired to the bone and, at minute moments, to the heart, to the core.
I resort to temporal joys and I listen to music but the songs elude me.
There's something not quite not right with the way my mind is working or my soul is longing.
There's something off-key with the way I'm singing, the way I'm thinking.
My thoughts are like ebbing waves.
I become dumb.
Numb?
I try to grasp the feeling of being real, here, now, sane, loved...
But I don't know.
Something inside me lets me go.
There's something wrong with the way I'm floating.
I'm floating.
I'm choking.
I'm drowning.
I'm losing it.

Quote
Avril is hugging her pillows. 8O
[/b]

6
Creative Endeavors / Suicide
« on: June 01, 2003, 07:26:26 pm »
He screamed as his world whirled into a blur
For all his life, in his decisions, he wasn't always sure
He just watched as his dreams were shattered in a distance
Still, he tried to get up, for he knew he still had a chance.

The temperature around him dropped, seizing him in freezing panic
As memories of his tormented past crushed reality into pieces,
He tried to smile to suppress his rears from flowing, but ended up in vain
With all his frustration and anger, nothing seemed to ease the pain.

He tried to look up in order to find hope, but the sun seemed too bright
Thinking of his ambitions, he knew that this time, he had to fight
Yet, right then and there, the cloud of darkness loomed atop his head
Hopelessness and pessimistic thoughts got the worse of him instead.

The sound of a bullet piercing through a himan's skull echoed throughout the place
Of flamboyance, contentment and happiness, the man was left with no trace
The wrath of the ocean's waves was tamed into an unforgiving calmness
As a gust of wind reduced the magnificence of the place into nothingness.

Now, he tried to stand up as his world turned into nothing but a blur
For all his life, he knew and he was sure
That he would only be watching as his dreams shattered in a distance
And he couldn't do anything about it, for he only wasted his chance.

Quote
Avril is hugging her pillows. 8O
[/b]

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Creative Endeavors / Silence of Anger
« on: June 01, 2003, 07:10:34 pm »
Darkness overcasts my life
The fire of hatred awakening
I ceased myself with fury
For me, life is an isle of agony.

Everytime I stand
They judge me
Everytime I cope
They exile me.

Life is so prejudiced
Bias for my individuality
Blemish my mind
And diluted my mind if irate

But my mouth will never speak
I'll wait for my grave, slowly, unbearably
I wish to end the pain
Death is my rebuttal!


Quote
Avril is hugging her pillows.  8O

8
Creative Endeavors / Pure Soulful Glimpse
« on: June 01, 2003, 07:06:05 pm »
In this deepening end of my wound
I have created a ravine
Of all my frustrations, of all my yearnings
Each of which dwelt falsehood
And I have fallen out of grace.

Thick webs of dreams weaved by my pretensions
My skin for a cancas painted without light
I am blinded by reality
Deceived by fantasy
And I am shattered into infinite pieces.

My courage is weakened by a fastidious multitude
I am but a hue to darken their glow
I fail to blend and so I drown
The vigor of my imagination immunes me from reality.
Now, I am lost in this vacuum of desires.

I lay my eyes onto the horizon
Of possibilities, of chances
Each of which is an unnotced abundance
I catch a pure soulful glimpse
Of a new sky unfold before me
Me.

Quote
Avril is hugging her pillows.  8O
[/b]

9
Creative Endeavors / Untitled
« on: June 01, 2003, 07:00:46 pm »
Pain is familiar
As the flight of geese
Sorrow brings comfort
An unsettling peace
I wail in the shadows
Exposed yet unseen
But soon it shall pass
For it's a mere routine.

Quote
Avril is hugging her pillows.
[/b]

10
Creative Endeavors / Furor Poeticus
« on: June 01, 2003, 06:58:39 pm »
My life is an empty page
A memoir encased in amber
Pain, oblivion, rage
Ebbing stones lodged by a stranger.

My heart is a casket
A dying dream of forever
Love, hurt, regret
A requiem buried by a stranger.

I hold my life like a pen
Feel the passion of anger
Through cold chains bound by men
Walking along a lone road made by a stranger.

I hold my heart like a lake
Feel the coldness of stupor
Through the heat of songs men make
While dancing to the tune of the stranger.

I hid my palms behind my back
While men raised their hands to her
They made an idol out of words of black
And nurtured their own stranger.

Their hands were free and light
Mine were edged stones beneath a river
Yet, the songs I sing captivates the night
For I have wings, I am no stranger.

Quote
Avril is hugging her pillows.  8O
[/b]

11
Creative Endeavors / Fathom
« on: June 01, 2003, 06:52:42 pm »
Fate influenced me
the moment I entered its barrier
and breathed destiny
thinking I could conquer it
But reality was such a sweet enemy
It pierced right through
and caused grievance
It made solitude
enrouch my memory
But I refused to eat the beauty of life
for I became cynical
And I had expectancy
that will not restrain
And fate will no longer influence me.

Quote
Avril is hugging her pillows.  8O
[/b]

12
Creative Endeavors / Heedless
« on: June 01, 2003, 06:47:48 pm »
Amidst the pain of death and loneliness,
Amidst the lamentation of their face,
No one symphatized...
For the world is too selfish,
Unmindful of their presence.
People ridiculed them,
For they lead dismal lives.
They lost their value.
They lost their pride and dignity.
They are wretched.
And hopelessness filled their being.

Quote
Avril is hugging her pillows.  8O
[/b]

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