PRESIDENT Bush was yesterday taped privately telling Tony Blair that Hizbollah's role in the Lebanon crisis was "shit" in a blunder that was broadcast round the world.
Enough Said.
BUSH: Yo, Blair - how are you doing?
BLAIR: I'm just...
BUSH: You're leaving?
BLAIR: No, no, no not yet. On this trade thingy. This is a reference to discussions on agreeing a new international trade deal through the World Trade Organisation.
BUSH: Yeah, I told that to the man. Presumably one of the negotiators.
BLAIR: Are you planning to say that here or not? Blair wants to know if Bush is prepared to sign ta deal after months of stalling.
BUSH: If you want me to?
BLAIR: Well, it's just that if the discussion arises...
BUSH: I just want some movement.
BLAIR: Yeah.
BUSH: Yesterday we didn't see much movement. A first attempt at agreeing a trade deal at the G8 had not gone well, in Mr Bush's view.
BLAIR: No, it may it's impossible.
BUSH: I'm prepared to say it.
BLAIR: But it's just I think what we need to be an opposition?
BUSH: Who is introducing the trade? Bush wants to know which of the G8 leaders is chairing the lunchtime discussions on trade.
BLAIR: Angela. German chancellor Angela Merkel.
BUSH: Tell her to call 'em. Possibly the World Trade Organisation and its leader Pascal Lamy.
BLAIR: Yes.
BUSH: Tell her to put him on them on the spot. Thanks for the sweater it's awfully thoughtful of you. It seems Blair has brought the president a gift of a jumper.
BLAIR: It's a pleasure.
BUSH: I know you picked it out yourself.
BLAIR: Oh, absolutely, in fact I knitted it!
BUSH: What about Kofi? That seems odd. His attitude is basically ceasefire and everything else happens. UN Secretary General Kofi Annan wants the warring sides to call an immediate ceasefire. Bush and Blair believe there is no point unless the wider problems of Hizbollah and Hammas shelling Israel from Lebanon and Palestine, and Israel retaliating, are addressed.
BLAIR: Yeah, no I think the (inaudible) is really difficult. We can't stop this unless you get this international business agreed. Blair is pushing for an international peacekeeping force to go in under the UN banner.
BUSH: Yeah.
BLAIR: I don't know what you guys have talked about, but as I say I'm perfectly happy to try and see what the lie of the land is. But you need that done quickly because otherwise it will spiral. Blair is offering to travel to Lebanon to report back on the situation.
BUSH: I think Condi is going to go pretty soon. Bush says US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice will be travelling to Lebanon. Mr Blair's suggestion is not necessary.
BLAIR: But that's, that's all that matters. But if you see it will take some time to get that together.
BUSH: Yeah, yeah.
BLAIR: But at least it gives people...
BUSH: It's a process, I agree. I told her your offer to... Bush has told Rice of Blair's offer to travel before her.
BLAIR: Well...it's only if I mean... you know. If she's got a...or if she needs the ground prepared as it were...because obviously if she goes out, she's got to succeed...whereas I can go out and just talk. Blair is suggesting it will not matter so much if he does not come up with an immediate agreement unlike Condoleezza Rice.
BUSH: You see, the thing is what they need to do is to get Syria, to get Hizbollah to stop doing this sh*t and it's over. Bush is presumably complaining Russia should tell Syria to order Hizbollah to stop shelling Israel from Lebanon - the cause of the conflict.
BLAIR: (Inaudible)
BUSH: (Inaudible)
BLAIR: Syria.
BUSH: Why?
BLAIR: Because I think this is all part of the same thing.
BUSH: Yeah
BLAIR: What does he think? He thinks if Lebanon turns out fine, if we get a solution in Israel and Palestine, Iraq goes in the right way... The discussion turns to wider issues but we are left puzzling what as the two leaders' earlier conversation is inaudible.
BUSH: Yeah, yeah, he is sweet. This is a sarcastic reference to Syrian leader Bashad Assad, who the two leaders largely blame for the chaos in the Middle East.
BLAIR: He is honey. And that's what the whole thing is about. It's the same with Iraq. Blair is also being sarcastic about Assad. But we are left to guess at the link Blair sees between Lebanon and Iraq.
BUSH: I felt like telling Kofi to call, to get on the phone to Bashad and make something happen. Bush is tempted to ask Secretary General Annan to pile the pressure on Assad.
BUSH: No, just going to make it up. I'm not going to talk too damn long, like the rest of them. Some of them talk too long. Bush is annoyed at the long-windedness of his fellow leaders.
BLAIR: (inaudible)
BUSH: Gotta go home. Got something to do tonight. How about you? Where are you going? Home? We have to keep this thing moving. I have to leave at 2:15. They want me out of here to free up their security forces. The Russians are obviously not that delighted at having so many world leaders on their turf.
BLAIR: (inaudible)
BUSH: We're not blaming Israel and we're not blaming the Lebanese government. Bush knows the Lebanese government does not support the shelling of Israel but is too weak to stop Hizbollah operating from within the south of the country.
More controversially, he is refusing to blame Israel, even though the French and Russians have accused it of acting disproportionately in its response to the Hizbollah attacks on Israel over the last six days.
BLAIR: Is this...? This isn't live, is it?
Finally! Blair has spotted the mic and realised the entire conversation has embarrassingly been relayed live around the world.
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