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Quote from: "itsthefiveofus"Quote from: "ste_uel"I remember I wrote a song a long time ago but I didn't really like it, but most of ppl thought it was quite good to be my first one, I had tons of good ideas for them, but I just gave up! Don't do the same and keep trying!mmhmm well everyone seems to think that its a song...its a poemthan tyler200 said that there was no rhyme to it, I never said it had rhyme, I did not want rhyme, not every poem had to rhyme.I agree that poems/lyrics don't have to rhyme. However, they do need a sort of cohesiveness that is missing from your poem.I think what you have is a good, bare-bones inspiration for a poem. What it lacks is the evocativeness and an ability to convey the mood to an audience, you know?If you hone your creativity, you could definitely write something fantastic, I'm sure.I'm not saying that I'm the ideal lyricist or that I'm great. Hell, I don't even think I'm that good at all, but I think the tips I gave could really help you out...I hope so anyway.
Quote from: "ste_uel"I remember I wrote a song a long time ago but I didn't really like it, but most of ppl thought it was quite good to be my first one, I had tons of good ideas for them, but I just gave up! Don't do the same and keep trying!mmhmm well everyone seems to think that its a song...its a poemthan tyler200 said that there was no rhyme to it, I never said it had rhyme, I did not want rhyme, not every poem had to rhyme.
I remember I wrote a song a long time ago but I didn't really like it, but most of ppl thought it was quite good to be my first one, I had tons of good ideas for them, but I just gave up! Don't do the same and keep trying!