[Poem] Raaaah -- Seriously, though...

[Patricius]

Okay:
1) Don't judge me. I'm not fluent in Spanish, but I tried to make it make sense.
2) It wasn't for Spanish, but for English/Composition.  Although I finished honors Spanish V, my ability to use idiomatic phrases and vocabulary correctly... sucks.
3) It's an acrostic poem--Patrick Daniel M.
4) If you don't get any allusions/metaphors... Well, ask? It seemed obvious to me, but I guess not to my teacher. It's not just a child abuse/ abandonment/ suicide poem. I actually put meaning into it.  
5) Tell me what you think.  I like input (the constructive kind).


Padre, dígamelo. ¿Por qué me ha abandonado?
Alrededor el jardín, yo ando. Quiero entrar su casa, pero no puedo.
Traté ser bueno para complacerle.
Ruego a usted, pero sale.
Imagino que sea mejor yacer en cama,
como un cadáver en un ataúd.
Kilómetros de amor, de familia, de todos,
¿dónde yo estoy ahora? ¿Estoy lejos?

Añadiendo a la soledad, a la tristeza,
nadie me oye, nadie me espera.
Incluir los posibilidades, pienso hacer
e hice que parece el mejor de todos,
Lo hice; se lo hizo.
Me he matado. ¿Seré encontrado?

Translation:
Father, tell me it. Why have you forsaken me?
Around the garden, I am walking.  I want to enter your house, but I cannot,
I try to be good to please you,
I beg to you, but you leave,
I imagine that it is best to lie in bed
Like a corpse in a coffin.
Miles from love, from family, from everything,  <--I only put km in the original to fit the assignment,  but this is what I wanted.
Where am I now? Am I far away?

Adding to my loneliness, my sadness,
No one hears me; no one waits for me,
Oh, the possibilities, I think of what to do,  <--Same here
And I do what seems best,
I did it.  It is done.
I have killed myself.  Will I be found?

[WhiteRabbit]

That's kinda depressing but really good! Haha.

[Patricius]

Thanks   "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" sort of inspired me (all thanks to Frankenstein, curse you Shelly). I don't really see much Gothicism in it though.