Whenever I smile my head isn’t in it
How could it have ended if we didn’t begin it?
All of it’s a waste
One giant mistake
I start to feel I don’t want to be alive
And I get in my car and I put it in drive
‘Cause I know the music will play
And there’s no other way to make it okay
But when the stick hits the skin it just tightens the knot
The one that I tied the first time I forgot
How I felt about you and told him I would stay
And came home dreamy late the next day
Then you would wonder where exactly I’d been
Wanted to know just who I had seen
But they don’t have names in the game I play
First and second—they come with labels
And as you stare at me from across the table
There’s a clench in my stomach and it hurts like hell
Inside my heart knows that you treat me so well
Apologetic eyes glance up towards yours
But they just stare back, unopened doors
I feel myself come alive at the thought of us ending
‘Cause then I could stop all of this pretending
But what about you?
Where would you stand?
Come alive like you used to be
Come alive and let yourself change me
I thought maybe I’d explain to you
All the ones that’s I’d been through
But it’d hurt much more than it’d do good
So I just turned and left you where you stood
And I didn’t break and look back at your face
As I took my place inside our bed
And dreamed of what I should’ve said
“I’m sorry I hurt you
I’ll never desert you again.”
But deep down I knew that you’d try to forget
And you’d smash you fingers down on the fret
And write me a song that I’ll never hear
‘Cause I’m never near enough to hear you play
I know my soul just couldn’t take it
And I’d crack and I just wouldn’t make it
There will come a day when I say goodbye
Then walk away and not see you cry
I feel myself come alive at the thought of us ending
‘Cause then I could stop all of this pretending
But what about you?
Where would you stand?
Come alive like you used to be
Come alive and let yourself change me
I had a dream that I’m back in your car
The one where one night we went way too far
And the top was down and there were the stars
So I drive and I drive
Somehow so alive
My heart beats faster than the wheels on the pavement
I contemplate what all of these signs meant
And then I hit the petal
Sunk bare feet into metal
So fast I hear the sonic boom
A noise so loud it makes the room shake
And I swear it was then that I heard your heart break
