which would you choose

[xxlovelyxx]

:?

[tylor2000]

I'd try to have both.  There are ways to have both.  If the person truly loves you they will want you to be happy and successful.  I know if I truly love someone I'd want them to have their career even if that meant a long distance relationship or alot of traveling.  It's hard, I've had several of those.  I'll write more later...my battery on my small laptop is dying. lol  It'll make more sense...

I'm also not a guy who judges my success by how unsuccessful my woman is.  But as my grandmother used to say, "If a woman really loves a man she'll follow him anywhere.  

It's a hard complex decision.  If you would like I'll add more later.  How much time do you have to decide?

[tylor2000]

As alone as I've been the past 7 or 8 years I know alot about relationships and could probably help you...even on here....

[xxlovelyxx]

we want both.   it doesnt bother me he has a career. i dont care if it means less time for us. i love him. i just want to live my life with him.

but life is not work..

[tylor2000]

Oh, so you are saying he is a workaholic or something like that?  I'm not exactly sure if that is what you are conveying.

From what I wrote I think it is obvious I assumed you were thinking of giving up a career for him.  I'm sorry about that if that is not the case and I assumed incorrectly.

I don't know enough about him and I don't know if it is appropriate for to ask or for you to tell me...

I've known alot of workaholics.  I'm even one (though most people wouldn't know that right now from how I'm living my life at the moment.)

Sometimes careers can be demanding.

[xxlovelyxx]

i would def. give up anything for him. what career is better then love anyway. isnt love all we got, all we need?


isnt it the purpose of life?

[tylor2000]

Well I wouldn't go into the philosophy of if it the purpose of life or not, that is up to you, but in my opinion is it is not.  It can have a variance of importance in your life.

For instance you could say for the matter of argument that in the case you work a regular 40 hour work week then sleep would be a third of your life(if you sleep 8 hours a night) and work is a third of your life during the weekdays.  The rest of the time is divided up with personal things.  I know that sounds overly deterministic, but just as a point of view.   You could also divide your personal time into even different things, e.g., interests.  For instance I like to study, read, and keep up on current events.

I know from personal experience that you can't live on love alone.  I'm sure right now alot of people are probably discovering that right now as the economy tanks.   Economic conditions can put a strain on a relationship.

But that is all for arguments sake.

[tylor2000]

btw, It sounds like you have fallen head over heels for this guy.    It's a great feeling to be that deeply in love with someone.

I never have had a philosophic point of view that the point of life is love and procreation.  I saw that one coming in my teens and skipped that phase on purpose.   Though I came close.  Well, love is important but I never thought that procreation was the point of life like the phase alot of people in their twenties and thirties run into.  That doesn't mean I don't want kids with the right person.  I mean it wasn't ever the main philosophy or motivator of my life.

But maybe I'm getting off topic...

[xxlovelyxx]

btw, It sounds like you have fallen head over heels for this guy.  It's a great feeling to be that deeply in love with someone.

 :mrgreen: he means everything to me.

so if you fell madly in love with someone who is everything you ever wanted in life, everything you asked for, but the only way to be with that person is to give up on your career, would you do it or not?  
or would you let the person go and be miserable and alone for the rest of your life?

i rather die homeless with my love then live a rich lonely swan. lol sometimes the risks is worth it all in the end. you may cant live on love alone but you sure as hell can't live without it either. can you honestly say you can live without love ?


and i dont think the economy is the problem, some people just dont know how to live thier life.

[xxlovelyxx]

you are nothing without love. you just can't live for yourself, you have to live for others