This is a little immature, I'm sorry, I'm just being honest. This stanza
You're so beautiful when you sleep
Dark lashes fall over dark cheeks
I can't help but stare and think
That I wouldnt mind being those sheets
But the closest I'll be
Is a line in a sad song
sounds corny bc you say "I wouldn't mind being those sheets" and that kind of takes away from the soft image being laid out. Also the use of dark as the adjective twice in a row isn't doing it for me. Unless you are trying to elude to some sort of dark being hidden/unreachable/unloved metaphor, you might want to consider using another adjective on one of the descriptions there.
This reads more like prose and I have to say I don't feel like I'm hearing anything new, just the recycled thoughts of anyone in this situation. Specificty would really draw me in on a piece like this, I believe. Generalizations tend to make this become cliche.
I do think it's a nice start and I do like some of your lines. Like in the aforementioned stanza I like the reference to your thoughts being the line of a sad song.
