There’s nothing extraordinary about Vanessa Carlton. (WHAT?)She plays the piano alrightAND IS SHE A CONCERT PIANIST WHO HAS MERRITT TO JUDGE?. She sings just okay and she’s pretty enough TRY BEAUTIFUL not to scare off CD buyers with her face on an album cover. However, being just suitable isn’t enough. Since her 2002 hit and Zales commercial go-to song, “A Thousand Miles,” Carlton has yet to release material of a similar pop magnitude. Almost 10 years since and four records later , Carlton’s most recent release, Rabbits on the Run, joins the ranks of the nameless tracks and mediocre piano-driven ballads that have come to comprise her career.DUH, SHE PLAYS THE PIANO, OF COURSE THEY WILL BE "PIANO DRIVEN"
Even in her heyday (if having a one-hit-wonder can be defined as heyday)"HIT" MAYBE, BUT SHE HAD PLENTY OF SONGS ON THE RADIO, Carlton only played second string to Michelle Branch UMM, NO. THEY WORK WITH DIFFERENT INSTRUMENTS AND HAVE VERY DIFFERENT WAYS OF WRITINGand on this record, her bland persona and middling musical dynamism only sink Rabbits on the Run further into this second-rate rut. On “Carousel,” there’s light, airy piano. On “Fairweather Friend,” there’s light, airy piano.IS THIS GIRL DEAF? HOW CAN YOU THINK THIS SONG IS "LIGHT AND AIRY?" And to no one’s surprise, there’s light, airy piano ― complete with light, airy vocals ― on every track. There’s nary a note of variety to be found on this record, SHIT. PURE BULL SHIT. DID SHE EVEN LISTEN TO IT? where songs run the the extreme range DIDN'T SHE JUST SAY THERE WAS NO VARIETY? IF THERE IS NO VARIETY THEN HOW CAN THERE BE AN "EXTREME RANGE?" between trite guitar ballads and trite piano ballads with Carlton’s almost squeaky REALLY? AND WHO DO YOU LISTEN TO? ARTISTS WHO USE AUTO TUNE ONLY???found somewhere amidst the rudimentary rubble.
However, if you dig deep within the trite, there is some, potential treasure. The muted and intimate a capella OKAY, IT'S BEEN AWHILE, BUT DOESN A CAPELLA MEAN WITH NO MUSIC? THERE IS PIANO AND PERCUSSION IN THIS SONG SO.. YEAH, NOT A CAPELLA.vocals on “This Marching Line” recall the rawness of Cat Power’s “Lived in Bars.” But, to call those fleeting moments “treasure” would ignore how drab most of this album is. At times, when Carlton is crooning, it feels as if she’s as bored as anyone who listens to Rabbits on the Run will be.
Jessica Pena is the assistant arts editor.