Author Topic: NEW, FINISHED SONG  (Read 7375 times)

Serentic

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NEW, FINISHED SONG
« on: July 28, 2012, 06:27:05 pm »
I have a (full, original) song I'm working on! (And it's one of the first original songs I've formally written up in a while! There are two or three more up my sleeve but I want to finish this one first.)

I don't have a title, I don't have all the lyrics down, and it's only half written down, but here:

Update: The song is essentially done! The title is either Shanghai or Tokyo Love. I can't decide. Probably Shanghai. Here are the lyrics:

Say I were a tidal wave
and the loss that I dragged in my wake
left you washed out and only aching for some more, oh

Steal you out away with me,
push you towards the bottom of the sea
I would pay so much to see you drown

Maybe I'm not good enough, and maybe we're no better off
but I'll send my love back, I'll send my love
Tokyo soul and bitterness, I'd hate to waste it all on this,
but I'll send my love back, I'll send my love

Well, I could use a friend now, but I am all that I have left
and I'm not sure whether
I've been cursed or blessed

Just tell them I'm an ocean and I can hide on dry land,
Keep my head above the water,
Don't come and throw me your hand

Coming down to Tokyo love
Never wanted nothing but to see you off,
I don't know when I've ever had enough,
Won't be happy 'till your sinking down

Maybe I'm not good enough, and maybe we're no better off
but I'll send my love back, I'll send my love
Tokyo soul and bitterness, I'd hate to waste it all on this,
but I'll send my love back, I'll send my love

Maybe we'd be stronger, but, we couldn't hold the waters up,
Maybe we'd be better off
I'll wait 'till the tides are up, forget the shore and save it all
Maybe I have never done enough

Coming down to Tokyo love
Never wanted nothing but to see you off

Coming down to Tokyo love
Never wanted nothing but to see you off

http://www.noteflight.com/scores/view/514cf08bb824d39f4e91636002f4473d85da84e4

If anybody has any critiques, let me know!

It looks long. I promise you, it's only like 3 minutes and 19 seconds. Pretty short.
« Last Edit: August 15, 2012, 04:11:31 pm by Serentic »

[sobriquet]

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Re: SORRY TO INUNDATE THIS BOARD :(
« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2012, 03:54:17 am »
Holy guacamole! THAT IS GOOD STUFF :D

I really hope you'll finish that. I love the beat of the drums as well as the backing synths. I also like how you played with the dynamics, especially in the pre-chorus.

Do you have an inkling of what this song is going to be about?

Floating on the sea, stars are watching me. Currents take me out, what will be will be.

Serentic

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Re: SORRY TO INUNDATE THIS BOARD :(
« Reply #2 on: July 29, 2012, 04:52:55 am »
Holy guacamole! THAT IS GOOD STUFF :D

I really hope you'll finish that. I love the beat of the drums as well as the backing synths. I also like how you played with the dynamics, especially in the pre-chorus.

Do you have an inkling of what this song is going to be about?

Thanks, Sobri! You always give the best advice and compliments. c:

Well, the reason I was tentatively naming it Shanghai is because Shanghai (while also a city) means to 'steal away to sea'. I think it's going to be about running away from difficulties.

On a side note, can't remember if I mentioned it here, but I think I found the name of the album / EP / demo! Sleepcycles.

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Re: SORRY TO INUNDATE THIS BOARD :(
« Reply #3 on: July 29, 2012, 07:50:09 am »
Holy guacamole! THAT IS GOOD STUFF :D

I really hope you'll finish that. I love the beat of the drums as well as the backing synths. I also like how you played with the dynamics, especially in the pre-chorus.

Do you have an inkling of what this song is going to be about?

Thanks, Sobri! You always give the best advice and compliments. c:

Well, the reason I was tentatively naming it Shanghai is because Shanghai (while also a city) means to 'steal away to sea'. I think it's going to be about running away from difficulties.

On a side note, can't remember if I mentioned it here, but I think I found the name of the album / EP / demo! Sleepcycles.

Wow. That's a nice idea! Thanks as well for the bit of knowledge. Did you know that Alaska is derived from a word that means 'that which the sea breaks against'. Random, but I think you could use it sometime. :)

an yes, I do compliment/comment a lot to your works partly because I believe that in an alternate reality, I am doing what you are doing right now.

Floating on the sea, stars are watching me. Currents take me out, what will be will be.

Serentic

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Re: SORRY TO INUNDATE THIS BOARD :(
« Reply #4 on: July 29, 2012, 08:25:50 am »
Holy guacamole! THAT IS GOOD STUFF :D

I really hope you'll finish that. I love the beat of the drums as well as the backing synths. I also like how you played with the dynamics, especially in the pre-chorus.

Do you have an inkling of what this song is going to be about?

Thanks, Sobri! You always give the best advice and compliments. c:

Well, the reason I was tentatively naming it Shanghai is because Shanghai (while also a city) means to 'steal away to sea'. I think it's going to be about running away from difficulties.

On a side note, can't remember if I mentioned it here, but I think I found the name of the album / EP / demo! Sleepcycles.

Wow. That's a nice idea! Thanks as well for the bit of knowledge. Did you know that Alaska is derived from a word that means 'that which the sea breaks against'. Random, but I think you could use it sometime. :)

an yes, I do compliment/comment a lot to your works partly because I believe that in an alternate reality, I am doing what you are doing right now.

Alaska isn't a bad name for a singer! I like place names very much. c: I was thinking about Deep Deep Sea as well.

You wouldn't happen to be a singer too, would you? We should totally collaborate some time! I know you did a lot of the Nessa sheet music - do you write your own as well? O:

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Re: SORRY TO INUNDATE THIS BOARD :(
« Reply #5 on: July 29, 2012, 08:04:12 pm »
Holy guacamole! THAT IS GOOD STUFF :D

I really hope you'll finish that. I love the beat of the drums as well as the backing synths. I also like how you played with the dynamics, especially in the pre-chorus.

Do you have an inkling of what this song is going to be about?

Thanks, Sobri! You always give the best advice and compliments. c:

Well, the reason I was tentatively naming it Shanghai is because Shanghai (while also a city) means to 'steal away to sea'. I think it's going to be about running away from difficulties.

On a side note, can't remember if I mentioned it here, but I think I found the name of the album / EP / demo! Sleepcycles.

Wow. That's a nice idea! Thanks as well for the bit of knowledge. Did you know that Alaska is derived from a word that means 'that which the sea breaks against'. Random, but I think you could use it sometime. :)

an yes, I do compliment/comment a lot to your works partly because I believe that in an alternate reality, I am doing what you are doing right now.

Alaska isn't a bad name for a singer! I like place names very much. c: I was thinking about Deep Deep Sea as well.

You wouldn't happen to be a singer too, would you? We should totally collaborate some time! I know you did a lot of the Nessa sheet music - do you write your own as well? O:

I had some, though I never really wrote them down nor recorded them. Techie stuff are too expensive for me, so I stick with my good ol' notebook.

And I am a singer. That is, a frustrated one. :))

Floating on the sea, stars are watching me. Currents take me out, what will be will be.

Serentic

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Re: SORRY TO INUNDATE THIS BOARD :(
« Reply #6 on: July 31, 2012, 06:42:09 pm »
Holy guacamole! THAT IS GOOD STUFF :D

I really hope you'll finish that. I love the beat of the drums as well as the backing synths. I also like how you played with the dynamics, especially in the pre-chorus.

Do you have an inkling of what this song is going to be about?

Thanks, Sobri! You always give the best advice and compliments. c:

Well, the reason I was tentatively naming it Shanghai is because Shanghai (while also a city) means to 'steal away to sea'. I think it's going to be about running away from difficulties.

On a side note, can't remember if I mentioned it here, but I think I found the name of the album / EP / demo! Sleepcycles.

Wow. That's a nice idea! Thanks as well for the bit of knowledge. Did you know that Alaska is derived from a word that means 'that which the sea breaks against'. Random, but I think you could use it sometime. :)

an yes, I do compliment/comment a lot to your works partly because I believe that in an alternate reality, I am doing what you are doing right now.

Alaska isn't a bad name for a singer! I like place names very much. c: I was thinking about Deep Deep Sea as well.

You wouldn't happen to be a singer too, would you? We should totally collaborate some time! I know you did a lot of the Nessa sheet music - do you write your own as well? O:

I had some, though I never really wrote them down nor recorded them. Techie stuff are too expensive for me, so I stick with my good ol' notebook.

And I am a singer. That is, a frustrated one. :))

Noteflight has a free version, is online and is pretty good for jotting stuff down if you're interested. You should get some stuff written/recorded!


I'm opening up a Bandcamp shop at some point this week. Hope everyone will come look! (:

Serentic

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Re: NEW, FINISHED SONG
« Reply #7 on: August 15, 2012, 04:12:35 pm »
UPDATED. Please go listen, everybody! c: (including those people who have viewed & not commented. I'd love to hear from you! I need all the critique I can get before I hit the recording studio.)

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Re: NEW, FINISHED SONG
« Reply #8 on: August 16, 2012, 05:28:02 am »
Congratulations.

I've been trying to sing along to the sheets, but a little fast for me. Hehe.

But, yeah. I think this is great stuff. And I'd LOVE to hear this.

Floating on the sea, stars are watching me. Currents take me out, what will be will be.

Serentic

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Re: NEW, FINISHED SONG
« Reply #9 on: August 16, 2012, 05:43:46 am »
Thanks Sobri! (: I'm meeting with the owner of the studio tomorrow, so you'll be able to hear everything fully recorded very soon!

As of right now, I'm doing five - MAAAAAYBE six songs. Should be fun!

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Re: NEW, FINISHED SONG
« Reply #10 on: August 16, 2012, 08:02:36 am »
Thanks Sobri! (: I'm meeting with the owner of the studio tomorrow, so you'll be able to hear everything fully recorded very soon!

As of right now, I'm doing five - MAAAAAYBE six songs. Should be fun!

Record Tokyo Love first. I'm really looking forward for your future stuffs! :D Live the dream.

Floating on the sea, stars are watching me. Currents take me out, what will be will be.

Serentic

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Re: NEW, FINISHED SONG
« Reply #11 on: August 16, 2012, 10:56:04 am »
Thanks Sobri! (: I'm meeting with the owner of the studio tomorrow, so you'll be able to hear everything fully recorded very soon!

As of right now, I'm doing five - MAAAAAYBE six songs. Should be fun!

Record Tokyo Love first. I'm really looking forward for your future stuffs! :D Live the dream.

I'm trying! This is essentially my NYU Recorded Music portfolio.

All of them are being recorded in quick succession, I think - however many I can get done in a reasonable amount of time. c:

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Re: NEW, FINISHED SONG
« Reply #12 on: August 25, 2012, 09:08:22 am »
I LOVE IT! please record it.

it's so catchy. and reminds me a little bit of miike snow :). makes almost dancing haha

greaaaat job :)

Serentic

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Re: NEW, FINISHED SONG
« Reply #13 on: August 26, 2012, 06:38:35 pm »
I LOVE IT! please record it.

it's so catchy. and reminds me a little bit of miike snow :). makes almost dancing haha

greaaaat job :)


Thanks! It'll be on the EP -- most likely the first single.