Author Topic: I need advice (Read 4375 times)

Fairy · « **on:** January 19, 2004, 08:01:52 am »

OK.. I am the kind of person that isn't afraid to ask for help. But I have this problem. I op this IRC.. (katia is gonna smack me)... Well, there is this one guy in there who is rather rude. But everytime I kick him he screams that I am abusing my 'power'.

But when somone says things like.. and I can quote him from today...

<*insert his name here*> something is really wrong in your head

Other things he has said include "that is why psychopaths don't need to be op's. He openly 'talks' about me in the chat. So I am torn between kicking him because he is offending me, and kicking him because he is doing something wrong. Basically I am just asking for a little bit of advice. I don't know what to do, and I hate when he says those things but I do know being in a higher position that I have to put my feelings aside. But I would kick him if he made a personal attack at somone else. so... please. help me?

And I apologize if this is in the wrong forum.. but I didn't know where to put it. :!:

Fairy · « **Reply #1 on:** January 19, 2004, 09:29:35 am »

well Fairy if I were you.. *cough*

No one loves the fairy enough to help her :cry: /plea for attention.. :x

LimeTwister · « **Reply #2 on:** January 19, 2004, 09:37:31 am »

well I can at least help you with you're in the right forum!

but I have no clue about the other stuff.

Fairy · « **Reply #3 on:** January 19, 2004, 09:38:49 am »

well, at least I am in the right forum.. IRC=Chat. op=person in charge. I don't know.. ::bangs head into keyboard::

Tia · « **Reply #4 on:** January 19, 2004, 09:39:55 am »

Quote from: "Fairy"

::bangs head into keyboard::

Awww... :?

rosieposy87 · « **Reply #5 on:** January 19, 2004, 09:59:35 am »

I'm sorry i don't know much about this problem, so here's my '2 cents' as you yanks would say. hee hee. If someone is being rude to you, then that proves they have no respect for you- if this is the case, then they will have no respect for others. I say you give them a kinda '3 strikes and you're out' proposition, i have no idea if this is making any sense in terms of the context!! So i hope that helps? even if just a little bit- good luck with it!!

Fairy · « **Reply #6 on:** January 19, 2004, 10:05:47 am »

Quote from: "rosieposy87"

I'm sorry i don't know much about this problem, so here's my '2 cents' as you yanks would say. hee hee. If someone is being rude to you, then that proves they have no respect for you- if this is the case, then they will have no respect for others. I say you give them a kinda '3 strikes and you're out' proposition, i have no idea if this is making any sense in terms of the context!! So i hope that helps? even if just a little bit- good luck with it!!

In all reality you know.. he actually is only rude to me. The 3 strikes thing is something I have been doing. He just makes me want to choke him.. .. seriously. arr!

I am not a mean person, I don't wish to change how he feels about me either. He has formed his own opinion. It frustrates me a lot when everyone is like "power trip" "you shouldn't be an op on PMS week" .. It makes me want to scream and go ninja. It gets to me because, all my life people have talked about me. Said I was weird cause of my mom and our family. Or just because I didn't look or dress like them. So when he says things like that it does hurt me. I am just stuck in letting him get to me and not letting him get to me. :cry:

rosieposy87 · « **Reply #7 on:** January 19, 2004, 10:13:57 am »

Quote from: "Fairy"

Quote from: "rosieposy87"
I'm sorry i don't know much about this problem, so here's my '2 cents' as you yanks would say. hee hee. If someone is being rude to you, then that proves they have no respect for you- if this is the case, then they will have no respect for others. I say you give them a kinda '3 strikes and you're out' proposition, i have no idea if this is making any sense in terms of the context!! So i hope that helps? even if just a little bit- good luck with it!!

In all reality you know.. he actually is only rude to me. The 3 strikes thing is something I have been doing. He just makes me want to choke him.. .. seriously. arr!

I am not a mean person, I don't wish to change how he feels about me either. He has formed his own opinion. It frustrates me a lot when everyone is like "power trip" "you shouldn't be an op on PMS week" .. It makes me want to scream and go ninja. It gets to me because, all my life people have talked about me. Said I was weird cause of my mom and our family. Or just because I didn't look or dress like them. So when he says things like that it does hurt me. I am just stuck in letting him get to me and not letting him get to me. :cry:

He is only rude to you- hmmmm. This is a hard one isn't it!? So let me get this straight, he's mean to you but no-one else- but offensively mean? but then if you did kick him it would seem like you're exercising your power as a mod over everyone, just because he insults you. The trouble is, it seems, because this goes deeper than just one silly prick on the internet- its about your life. What have you been doing with the strike thing so far?

Fairy · « **Reply #8 on:** January 19, 2004, 10:18:25 am »

well, I usually ignore it the first time. The second time I tend to be angered and I'm not apt to just sit there and listen so I usually say something like "ok, you know where the X is, if you don't like it you can leave." Then the next time I just kick ban. The bans are set so that you aren't banned forever but they do last a while. Somedays I have forgotten and left him banned over night. Then he grumbles and acts like he is the prince of england. I try to make bans only last about an hour. And when I do ban him, he just pm's me and says things like I posted earlier "That's why psycho paths shouldn't be op's" Or he will be like "OooOO Fairy got mad" I am generally a nice person and don't really want to ban him. But I'm also in a position not to let him think he can run the chat by being a user and in turn taking the insults the other users see that and think that they can do what they wish. I hope that helps.. or Am I like going on and on?

rosieposy87 · « **Reply #9 on:** January 19, 2004, 11:01:58 am »

I think the point is, that you don't have to answer to anyone- you operate it under your own conscience, so don't take his crap any longer. Show him that you don't care about other people's opinions and then he'll stop. The only reason you're hesitant about this is because you're worried others will hate you for it, right? I think he must know that, the minute you show him that you won't take his shit he'll stop- hope that helps?

Fairy · « **Reply #10 on:** January 19, 2004, 11:07:13 am »

It does help. There aren't that many op's in the channel.. I am usually the only active one. I do it cause I like to do it. I am going to take your advice thank you

I think a lot of the time he just likes to see how far he can push me. ::hugs::

rosieposy87 · « **Reply #11 on:** January 19, 2004, 11:10:46 am »

Quote from: "Fairy"

It does help. There aren't that many op's in the channel.. I am usually the only active one. I do it cause I like to do it. I am going to take your advice thank you I think a lot of the time he just likes to see how far he can push me. ::hugs::

I'm glad that helps! He sounds like one of those pathetic pricks who likes to laugh at people once he's wound them up- so just don't get mad (even though i know you want to locate his IP and go round and kill him, lol) and calmly demonstrated that you won't take his shit. *hugs* You're doing a good thing- its a shame people have to ruin it.

Fairy · « **Reply #12 on:** January 19, 2004, 11:12:28 am »

Thank you

You're a very sweet person.

jlmusicchick · « **Reply #13 on:** January 19, 2004, 01:21:32 pm »

Quote from: "Fairy"

It gets to me because, all my life people have talked about me. Said I was weird cause of my mom and our family. Or just because I didn't look or dress like them.

wow, this sounds exactly like me. I was always the nerd in school, the one who had no friends. and if i did have friends, it would only be as a joke with the popular people. Finally things changed when i went in to the middle school and just stopped caring what they thought. I didn't cry when they called me names, and i didn't try to lash out at them. I just ignored them, and followed my insticts. Now, no one bothers me, and i have some great friends.

I agree totally with what Rosie said. The only way this guy is going to stop is if A. you tell him how you feel and let him know you will not be treated this way - or - B. Ignore him. Don't put him on block, just ignore his comments. I mean, you don't need this guy to like you, do you? It may sound concieted, but it's the truth. like you said, you don't have to make him like you.

hope i helped

Fairy · « **Reply #14 on:** January 19, 2004, 01:27:06 pm »

You're right I don't have to make him like me. I just would rather him not talk to me like I am nothing. I am the only op that really sits in there alllllll the time. I do it cause I like it. I do it for a friend who made it possible to have the channel. He urks me with his attitude. I am tired of playing his games.

thanks guys ::heart:: every little bit of adive helps me

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Author Topic: I need advice (Read 4375 times)

LimeTwister