this was hillarious from her site:
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Ahem. As I sit here thoughtfully nursing my tapioca pudding from Trader Joe's (product placement!! warning!) it is, indeed, time for another movie review. Hey, as you know there will be spoilers, but don't worry I won't give away 'zee major plot twist' - I will just carp about the details. Yes, the details, those little thingies like the story, character development, er, those ones.
I saw I, Robot the other night, and I was very annoyed. I had heard varying opinions online and from friends (one of the more entertaining ones being two words only: 'I, Refund') but it was definitely not very good at all. This coming from a person who can watch 'Flipper' and still be entertained.
Well, granted, I was entertained to a degree. But it was kind of a fast-food-oriented fulfillment: while you're scarfing down that burger, you are in heaven, and minutes later you have no idea what had possessed you to eat the damn thing as it just sits there in your stomach... No, don't get me wrong - I like fast food from time to time - In n'Out being my fast food of choice, but still... (warning! Another product placement!!)
The reason why I am going on about product placements is that some movies manage to be subtle about them. I, Robot certainly wasn't. When that futuristic Audi pulls up in a clear frontal shot, you almost expect the angel choir to exclaim 'Hallelluija!', or a deep masculine voice-over to announce: 'Audi: the conveyance of the future'. Or those Converse All-Stars. Or..anyway, I'll stop here.
Will Smith certainly provides a certain amount of absolutely gratuitous eye candy - and you'll know what I mean once you see it - but considering we, as the female sex, deserve a bit of that now and then, and men get theirs all the time, I will applaud the Will Smith semi-nudity action. He certainly works out a lot. He also looks a lot better from that angle and in that particular position (again, you'll see) than Mr. Arnold in Terminator (was it one? or two??) when he materializes naked in the street at the beginning of the movie(s). Anyway.
Will Smith's female sidekick is an absolute moron and can't act. As Yahoo puts it in her biography:
Setting the silver screen ablaze with her memorable moves in Coyote Ugly and getting small-screen laughs with her role as Mr. Big's fiancée (aka "the stick with no soul") in HBO's massively popular Sex and the City, former child athlete turned Glamour cover-girl Bridget Moynahan forged a successful transition from catwalk to screen in the early years of the new millennium.
If there was anything set ablaze by Ms. Moynahan, it certinaly wasn't the silver screen in the particular theather we were in. She had about two facial expressions to her name, and both set my teeth on edge. Not being an actor myself, I am actually very tolerant of the thespian crowd and have always have a bit of a crush on my compatriot Milla Jovovich (who is also a former model), but this time it was pathetic. Although, it's not like they gave her much to go with - not much character development at all. I mean: when a robot has more personality than you, it's got to be pretty tough, don't you think?
Oh well, what else can I gripe about? The future according to the director of I, Robot looks like Minority Report, even though it's only 30 years away, and there are robots everywhere. The main robot was given the voice that was VERY reminiscent of C3P0. ahhh, good ol' star wars, well, apparently the director knows his Star Wars material, so look for a few references, including an artificial limb, a weird structure in the end which doesn't serve any purpose really, except that it looks cool to fall from and is very TALL, gasp! - and is reminiscent of the one in one of the original SW episodes where Luke takes the plunge.
I was half-expecting someone to appear (not the robot, I guess, although - sigh - that would have been an interesting twist) and intone: ' Will, I amm yourr Fatherr'.
There was a cat in the movie and I thought it did a good job.
So did the man in the hologram.
Acting props go to: 1st place: the cat; 2nd: Dr' Lanning's hologram; 3rd: Will Smith. Last one, grudgingly, because he basically just played himself. But then so did the cat, so in all fairness it's all right then.
One more thing: Sonny the robot got lots of character development, but even so there were some glaring things that got to me. They had to do with kindness, shyness and philosophizing and yet an uncanny ability to kill...and so easily it almost appeared that he enjoyed it. In fact, I thought Sonny the robot would make a great professional assasin. Maybe in another movie.
Yawnnn, it is tiring to speak my mind at length - er - to type this stream of superior consciosness that is my own. I am just KIDDING! Or not.
In any case, I am moving forward with music, management, plans and recording. Perhaps not as fast as I want to, but it is forward and for once I can actually *see* where I want to be and how I want it to sound...and all that. Life is good. It's too hot here, in L.A. I have been meeting some very interesting people, including a songwriter for TATU and Steven Tyler's uncle who had dated Marilyn Monroe. Crazy town, this:-)
