DEAR GOD. I mean, honestly, you sooo crushed my feelings. You think you impress me with your amazing skill to use words seventh graders know? Don't make me laugh.
Not that you could, because, Jesus.. you AREN'T funny your damn self. I mean how long did it take you to come up with that biting satirical piece that was the Peanut Butter thread? Whoa, where is your Pulitzer? You totally showed those darn Brits.
Yes, of course I'm not smart. Yep, 90-99 percentile scores on tests in prep school... graduating ahead of my class damn, I must need to be in special ed! And even then I won't be able to work at McDonalds !!!
Yeah, buddy. Don't be bitter. Today is just the beginning of 4 great years.