Sky Rhyme

[anycon]

A kind of pro-environment poem:

How beautiful the clouds are.
And do we ever look?
How beautiful the skies are--
And this which we forsook--
Relentlessly we took and took:

To the listless lilting hook
Of the many suns' setting choir
We raped that charred sky -- from afar.


Advice? Suggestions? Rapturous praise? Vituperative dispraise?

[Prophetic]

Very nice writing, I might take out "raped" because that word, as I'm sure you're aware of, may mean something deep to some people.
I'd definetely see this coming from one of those classic writers.

[anycon]

Nice peom I saw in the paper:

To my Daughters, Asleep

Surrounded by trees I cannot name
that fill with birds I cannot tell apart

I see my children growing away from me;
the hinges of the heart are broken.

Is it too late to start, too late to learn
all the words for love before they wake?

Robin Robertson