"The Do Nots to Being a Fan of Gavin DeGraw"
Number One
Homemade clothes have got to go. Would you be creeped out if your face was pasted on someone else's hat, shirt, shoes, and underwear along with declarations of their undying love? I think so.
Number Two
There's nothing hotter than a girl stumbling around and half-vomitting up her previously consumed alcohol. I know i'd want to shove my tongue down THAT sexy throat -- KEEP IT UP.
Number Three
If you're under the age of 18, you're not going to have sexual relations with Gavin. Not even touching base on the laws of attraction, but the laws of the U.S. You know, that legal stuff. You could shoot for R. Kelly though, i hear he's into that underage deal. just a hunch, though.
Number Four
You see, there's this thing called ballads. don't be that dude who has to obnoxiously scream profanities during that ballad. you know the dude. the one that screams "WOO" or even better, "YOU'RE FUCKING HOT" in the midst of a heartfelt, slow song. while i'm sure gavin truly appreciates being told he's fucking hot, he is not going to acknowledge the statement in the middle of 'dancing shoes'.
(4b). This rule of concert etiquette also extends out to gestures. Let me explain. There's this instrument called the piano. It often requires the usage of two hands, at least I happen to notice Gavin uses both hands to perform on this instrument. Next, there's this gesture called waving. Sometimes it involves one hand, maybe two if you're frantic/psychotic enough. In summation folks, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WAVING TO GAVIN IN THE MIDDLE OF A SONG? would you like him to wave back? maybe he could stop performing. maybe he could wave to you with his third hand. not that third hand. honestly, i know i paid to see him interrupt "chariot" to give a shout-out to you. it'd seriously make my night.
Number Five
Yes folks, Gavin does indeed have more songs outside of "I Don't Wanna Be".
Number Six
Ladies, ladies, ladies, you're not going to marry Gavin nor mother his babies -- so please, let go of the idea and proceed to get your head examined. no, i'm being serious. really. go. now.
Number Seven
Do you know how many fans Gavin has? Do you know how many records he has sold? Sure, there is room for growth but let's pause for a second here. Do not expect him to magically remember you after explaining that you have seen him "x amount of times on this date and that date in this city and in that city and WHY DON'T YOU REMEMBER ME I REMEMBER YOU WHY ISN'T THIS SPECIAL TO YOU I HOLD YOU DEAR TO MY HEART WHY GAVIN WHY". eh, he probably doesn't recognize me either, it happens, he's got a lot of fans and i promise you -- life does go on. i promise.
Number Eight
Let's leave the guerilla warfare in Vietnam. If Gavin says he's going to be meeting and greeting at the merch booth, proceed to the merch booth, meet and greet, quickly discuss, sign my boobs, and proceed to exit. Please do not stick around and stare at him, you're freaking him AND all of us out. Please do not plan out underground tunnels, secret hiding spots, and a variety of different routes to ambush the G-man. What the hell is wrong with you, you've got to be some other kind of breed or something. Creepy.
Number Nine
Ladies and Gents, respect the merch booth for God's sake. We know it's not a fort, but please do not go behind or around the table, Gavin is behind it for a reason ... he's afraid of you. As well as Anderson the merch dude. And actually, we all are -- but we get to stand next to you, you fucking psycho. It all really boils down to patience, people. And lastly, the tent should not be knocked down for any reason whatsoever. That is, honestly, on a whole other scale of creepiness. Like, desperate creepiness. As well as like, harming those around you. But i suppose it's more important that Gavin knows he must marry you via your obnoxiously annoying sign. Refer to number six and get that head of yours checked out. You're seriously scaring us all.
Number Ten
Lastly, you scary freaks, you ... Gavin's a person with one hell of a talented voice. But he's a person. Like you, like me, and the lovely Cheech & Chong. Grabbing his hand in the middle of a concert is not going to suddenly rid you of your blindness. Touching him is not going to send you into an instant orgasm (but if so, that's kind of ... interesting). Nonetheless, you can take apart that shrine to him you built in your closet and be rest assured that his skin is not composed of gold.
I mean, I'm sure they are somewhat joking (well, actually not because there are vows on the forums to not breaking these) but this topic is stickyed and its the first thing that pops up.
Yeah, they are tooo cool.
