I did the "Todd" version of the rules and regulations.
For humor only:
1. Don’t mess up the language ‘yo. Don’t use that geek language. Andrew is excluded because he’s a dork that’s been doing it forever. We’re grandfathering this in.
2. Don’t PM the mods asking for your rank to be changed. You will be shot and we will flood your mother’s mailbox with pictures of Nicole kissing another girl.
3. If you earn it, we might just let you in our cool little VCUB (Vanessa Carlton Unicorn Brigade [props to Trish]). You’ll notice these people cuz they got a Unicorn under their name. Don’t put it in your avatar or death will become you.
4. If someone shows up sayin’ “Yo. Vanessa’s a bitch that looks like Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.” Just leave ‘em bee. Katia or another mod will take care of it. No need to waste your time, that’s what they get paid (as if!) to do.
5. Don’t post wh0re. Don’t contribute to a flaming royal rumble. Post in the right forum. And see that “search” button up there? Todd demands you use it—this is by far the most annoying thing in the world to see four threads about the color of your car. There is no need for “milestone threads” about how many posts you have. Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.
6. Chat threads sux0rs. Go back to the O-board you petty little kids. Don’t announce when you’re here, don’t announce when you’re leaving. We don’t care. We can see if you’re here or not by looking at the bottom of the screen.
7. No ass kissing. Don’t post a thread about how much you love Vanessa. If you didn’t love Vanessa, you probably wouldn’t be here. Therefore, using the power of deductive reasoning (or is it inductive? (o_O)) we can assume you love Vanessa. You’re wasting board space and your own time. The only person appreciation threads are allowed for is Todd. ‘Cuz he’s cooler than you.
8. Sig rules: Don’t use the unicorn or Stephan Jenkins will come and personally beat your head in. That’s reserved for the real Vanessa. Your pics can only add up to 400 X 120. That means if you have two pics, the height can add up to only 400, and the width can only add up to 120.
9. Watch the f’ing language God darn it. Little kids from the o-board might read. We like to cuss also. But use some sense of decency.
10. Remember to have fun. If you’re not having fun, Todd can make your stay here much worse.
11. You must read these and that FAQ thing that Tricia spent hours working on. If you post something you shouldn’t, we’re gonna lock you and condemn you to eternal damnation. But as a gesture of how egotistical we are, we’re gonna use red ink to show you where you fucked up. If you don’t like it, go to the o-board and whine because life’s a bitch sometimes. When a Mod locks it—it’s final. There have been instances where we’ve allowed for further discussion, but that’s only because we were in a good mood that day because there was extra Mac & Cheese at the staff lunch. Don’t count on it.
