Author Topic: This Is Not Love  (Read 4468 times)

Jophess

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This Is Not Love
« on: June 04, 2008, 05:20:56 pm »
So I wrote this poem today and I was curious as to what you guys thought. I don't really write poetry (I write songs, but that's quite different), but this one sort of flowed from my fingers.

This is not love, I know that much;
For it does seem to manifest
An innate need for human touch
And self-perception not it’s best.

I saw thee amble up the stair,
Direct attraction I did feel -
Thy golden legs and golder hair
The center of thy pure appeal.

But seeing thee disparate is
From knowing thee, or touching thee;
This self-imposed forbiddingness
Will take its toll, increasingly.

This is not love, for love is kind
And cozy in its soft repose;
These notions filling up my mind
Reflect not love, but all my woes.
Joe

iluvvanessa

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This Is Not Love
« Reply #1 on: June 04, 2008, 05:25:07 pm »
I like it, nice job.

SadAsBlue

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This Is Not Love
« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2008, 05:55:05 pm »
Well done, you have a true talent with words
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IfICouldFall

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This Is Not Love
« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2008, 11:21:03 am »
wooh! I like it, almost Shakesperean with the iambic beats. good job!  :D

Jophess

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This Is Not Love
« Reply #4 on: June 05, 2008, 02:46:16 pm »
Quote from: "IfICouldFall"
wooh! I like it, almost Shakesperean with the iambic beats. good job!  :D

Thanks for noticing the iambic beats. That was the hardest part of writing it. I try to stick faithfully to iambic pentameter/quatrameter/etc. when I write.
Joe

IfICouldFall

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This Is Not Love
« Reply #5 on: June 09, 2008, 03:05:22 pm »
^^^ That's awesome, since that songs nowadays aren't really that "artistic" anymore and it's great to bring back the form in which all of the writing today basically started!  :D

SylvanHistorian30

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Re: This Is Not Love
« Reply #6 on: June 30, 2009, 09:34:05 am »
Wow, finely written! I almost thought it was a Shakespeare poem.
Good work!
« Last Edit: July 02, 2009, 03:26:49 am by SylvanHistorian30 »
Miracles DO happen! =)

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joey

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Re: This Is Not Love
« Reply #7 on: July 01, 2009, 10:13:33 pm »
nice work... I like the concept. Very epiphany like...
"I see the Dalai Lama ... I feel him blessing me"

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