Author Topic: MAN SCHOOLING (Read 10098 times)

Ms.Redd · « **on:** September 05, 2003, 05:15:35 am »

Got this in a FWD: email from my sister... I thought it was pretty funny.

RALPH STUDY
KG8RL

Man Schooling:

For those of you who are married, were married, or are contemplating marriage - under the assumption that men need (or ought) to be trained for marriage. Southwest Tech is offering a new 2 year associates degree....

TWO YEAR DEGREE: Becoming a Real Man. That's right, in just six mini-semesters, you, too, can be a real man as well as earn an associates degree in MA (Male Arts). Please take a moment to look over the program outline.

FIRST YEAR
Autumn Schedule:

MEN 101 Combating Stupidity
MEN 102 You, Too, Can Do Housework
MEN 103 PMS-Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
MEN 104 We Do Not Want Sleazy Underwear for Christmas

Winter Schedule:

MEN 110 Wonderful Laundry Techniques
MEN 111 Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 2 AM
MEN 112 Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception
EAT 100 Get a Life, Learn to Cook
EAT 101 Get a Life, Learn to Cook II
ECON 001A What's Hers is Hers

Spring Schedule:

MEN 120 How NOT to Act Like a Buttface When You're Wrong
MEN 121 Understanding Your Incompetence
MEN 122 YOU, the Weaker Sex
MEN 123 Reasons to Give Flowers
ECON 001C What Was Yours is Hers

SECOND YEAR
Autumn Schedule:

SEX 101 You CAN Fall Asleep without It
SEX 102 Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower
SEX 103 How to Stay Awake After Sex
MEN 201 How to Put the Toilet Seat Down

Elective (See Electives Below)

Winter Schedule:

MEN 210 The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
MEN 211 How to Not Act Younger than Your Children
MEN 212 You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
MEN 213 Honest, You Don't Look Like Tom Cruise
MEN 230A Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important

Spring Schedule:

MEN 220 Omitting %&*! from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)
MEN 221 Fluffing the Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary
MEN 222 Real Men Ask for Directions
MEN 223 Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay
MEN 230B Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 2

Course Electives:

EAT 101 Cooking with Tofu
EAT 102 Utilization of Eating Utensils
EAT 103 Burping and Belching Discreetly
MEN 231 Mothers-in-law
MEN 232 Appear to Be Listening
MEN 233 Just Say "Yes, Dear"
ECON 001C Cheaper to Keep Her

Just a thought for all the women out there...- MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, MENopause, GUYnocologist (poetic spelling). Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men? Send this to all of the women you know (and men with a sense of humor) and brighten their day!!!...and when we have real trouble, it's a HISterectomy.

:lol:

Grakthis · « **Reply #1 on:** September 05, 2003, 06:03:44 am »

You know what you tell a woman with two bruises on her face?
.
.
.
.
Nothing, you done already told the bitch twice. :twisted:
---Andrew

PintOGuinness · « **Reply #2 on:** September 05, 2003, 06:52:11 am »

What do you do when the dish washer stops working?
.
.
.
.
Slap her on the ass and tell her to get back in the kitchen. :twisted:

Andrew... you realize we're going to hell right?

Si · « **Reply #3 on:** September 05, 2003, 07:03:36 am »

Quote from: "Grakthis"

You know what you tell a woman with two bruises on her face?
.
.
.
.
Nothing, you done already told the bitch twice. :twisted:
---Andrew

Quote from: "PintOGuinness"

What do you do when the dish washer is broken?
.
.
.
.
Slap her on the ass and tell her to get to work. :twisted:

Andrew... you realize we're going to hell right?

*speechless

(I thought better of you guys...

)

LOL

Grakthis · « **Reply #4 on:** September 05, 2003, 07:30:35 am »

Quote from: "Simone Sarah"

*speechless
(I thought better of you guys... )
LOL

See, that was your first mistake. We may be nice sometimes... but we're sitll guys :wink:

I got a bunch more.

What do 10,000 battered women have in common?
.
.
.
.
They don't know when to shut their f'in mouths.
---Andrew

Si · « **Reply #5 on:** September 05, 2003, 07:53:20 am »

lmfao

aww, so bad, you are so bad!!
(but those are funny, LOL)

rroo · « **Reply #6 on:** September 05, 2003, 09:44:38 am »

You forgot one:

LIE 101: Always lie when she stands in front of a mirror and asks: "Do you think I gained weight?"

rosieposy87 · « **Reply #7 on:** September 05, 2003, 10:34:09 am »

Quote from: "Grakthis"

What do 10,000 battered women have in common?
.
.
.
.
They don't know when to shut their f'in mouths.
---Andrew

Is that even funny? I think you forgot that jokes are supposed to have some element of humour in them, dear.

And yes, yes you are both going to hell. Stupid jokes like:

why can't women ski? -because you can't ski from the bedroom to the kitchen.

why are women's feet small? - so you can get closer to the kitchen sink.

oh HOW HILLARIOUS. Tell a joke like that and watch all females within a 5 metre radius of you vacate the area. Si, don't laugh- laugh at jokes that are funny.

Si · « **Reply #8 on:** September 05, 2003, 10:42:24 am »

Quote from: "rosieposy87"

Si, don't laugh- laugh at jokes that are funny.

:?:

rosieposy87 · « **Reply #9 on:** September 05, 2003, 11:05:11 am »

Quote from: "Simone Sarah"

Quote from: "rosieposy87"
Si, don't laugh- laugh at jokes that are funny.

:?:

Those just aren't funny jokes, i might laugh if they were sexist and funny, but they're just sexist and plain unfunny.

Ms.Redd · « **Reply #10 on:** September 05, 2003, 11:14:02 am »

Well the whole thread is sexist Rosie... But I do agree, its not good humor to joke about beating a woman senseless (or ANYONE for that matter) just because they could shut their "f'in" mouths.

I just thought that the FWD email was cute... And it says as a sense of humor... And I did think it was funny because its just saying yes, men and women should be different species because one thinks one thing is right and the other thinks the total opposite is better.

I agree Rosie... Their "humor" wasn't so great either.

rosieposy87 · « **Reply #11 on:** September 05, 2003, 11:25:26 am »

lol, yes- i may vaguely laugh at sexist jokes that are FUNNY. Because everyone should have appreciation for a funny joke! But not when they are just appauling jokes like those ones, its like some stupid football hooligan went 'ooh ooh, i know- this one is funny." and made a shite joke up on the spot. If you are going to be sexist at least do it in style.

Si · « **Reply #12 on:** September 05, 2003, 11:45:44 am »

Yeah, maybe this whole entire thread should be
L O C K E D !!!!!!!!!

:roll:

lol

Grakthis · « **Reply #13 on:** September 05, 2003, 12:56:39 pm »

Quote from: "rosieposy87"

why can't women ski? -because you can't ski from the bedroom to the kitchen.

ROFL.

I ..... can't... breath.... tooo..... funnny........

*collapses*
---Andrew

Grakthis · « **Reply #14 on:** September 05, 2003, 01:00:49 pm »

Rosie dear, stop playing double standards. Just because you don't think a given joke is funny doesn't mean the joke is in bad taste. Frankly, I find all those jokes funny. And so do about a dozen of my friends. Not to mention the VAST MAJORITY of the people I have told them too. I have a whole collection of BAD jokes about all kinds of topics.

Frankly, I think it says a lot about a person if you can't laugh at an innaproriate joke like that.

Comedy AS A UNIVERSAL RULE is someone elses pain. ALWAYS. You cannot name me a comedic event that I cannot demonstrate that it is rooted in laughing at someones misfortune.

Some of us are just more honest with ourselves.

Or wait, you are British. So maybe to be funny it has to involve cross dressing, walking funny or someone being hit with a heavy blunt object?
---Andrew

News:

Author Topic: MAN SCHOOLING (Read 10098 times)