Author Topic: Untitled...  (Read 2737 times)

Tia

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Untitled...
« on: July 02, 2004, 03:38:28 am »
Bittersweet tears run down her cheeks
She’s been stuck in this place too long
She can’t tell days from weeks
Everything here is wrong

Bloody lines cross her flesh
She’s been cut so deep
Her thoughts all blur and mesh
And she can’t sleep

Angry words pass through her lips
Her heart beats faster and faster
And the monitor blips
But the people walk past her

Shallows breaths are formed deep inside
Gasping and choking
With nowhere to hide
Her heart is soaking

Blood, sweat and tears
So shallow yet so deeply
Ingrained are her fears
She whispers meekly

The final moments come rushing forward
Her body bent and torn
Her mind races backward
And she wonders if they will mourn

-----------------------------------------

Feedback? :D
The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success.

Pirouette

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Untitled...
« Reply #1 on: July 02, 2004, 06:48:17 am »
Yikes girl! Did you write that? I'm a little afraid of you! (In a good way!)
That's really good. So good it's  a little creepy.


My boring blog
http://www.themundanelife.blogspot.com

"I lose my way, searching for stage lights..."

drumpad

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Untitled...
« Reply #2 on: July 02, 2004, 07:00:57 am »
it was prettyyy good!
 ---"poot slap, poot slap, dawg with that thump"

clamicas

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Untitled...
« Reply #3 on: July 02, 2004, 08:24:31 am »
^^ yup
It's good  :D but it's sort of....
It's something to rip our hearts off while we read it...... 8O if ya know what I mean :wink:

Tia

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Untitled...
« Reply #4 on: July 02, 2004, 01:18:11 pm »
Quote from: "Pirouette"
Yikes girl! Did you write that? I'm a little afraid of you! (In a good way!)
That's really good. So good it's  a little creepy.


LOL!

That the reaction I get from my parents. They look at me like I'm on junk or something...

Thanks though!


Quote from: "drumpad"
it was prettyyy good!


Thank you :)


Quote from: "clamicas"
^^ yup
It's good  :D but it's sort of....
It's something to rip our hearts off while we read it...... 8O if ya know what I mean :wink:


I know what you mean :wink:
But I can just never write about happy stuff, lol
The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success.

vt

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Untitled...
« Reply #5 on: July 02, 2004, 03:06:13 pm »
Oooh, I'm loving the rhyming! lol.

too cool  8)

vanessafan18

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Untitled...
« Reply #6 on: July 08, 2004, 05:37:14 am »
Oooh I can't believe I didn't see this!!  :cry: Tia it was beeeeautiful, amazing and really powerful too! Well done! xoxo

Thank so much for the sig Scotty!! <3 It's gorgeous!

Tia

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Untitled...
« Reply #7 on: July 08, 2004, 05:48:06 am »
Thank you Georgie *hugs* <3
The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success.

vanessafan18

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« Reply #8 on: July 08, 2004, 09:54:18 am »
Quote from: "Tia"
Thank you Georgie *hugs* <3


You're welcome sweety! *huggles* xoxo

Thank so much for the sig Scotty!! <3 It's gorgeous!