I only sit down when I'm either so drunk or so tired that I can hardly see the bowl. And usually, it's the latter because I'm so rarely ever drunk anymore.
It used to really bother me when the toilet paper came down off the back of the roll, but now I don't really give a damn. And using too much toilet paper wastes trees and money, and can clog the pipes. Fold it over and reuse it!
And if you're going to be doing something that's going to make you sweat a lot right after you go poopy, a wet wipe is not a bad idea because sweat can make you blister really badly if you didn't get it all. Then you have to use Balmex.