Thoughts of death swim in my head
Visions of what could be and what could have been
She tells me to look, but I can't see through the pain
It clouds my eyes and makes them water
Tears are all that I feel in this numbing pain
Tears trickle down my face and make my cheeks hot
Tears dance and flirt with dark thoughts in my mind
She tells me to look, but it's too black to see
A golden sun replaced by the sahdows awakening in my soul
I can't say when it started or where
But I do seem to remember an odd feeling last November
And it's seemed to have stuck with me since then
You tell me to listen but all I hear is the sound of my heart breaking
A sadness grows from the inside, and rises and falls with my every breath
Subsiding, but sustaining
Releasing, then returning
Fading but never really dying
You tell me to breathe, but I'm inhaling dust
All I can do is choke
And fear binds me and holds me down
Suddenly, I'm afraid of everything and I feel that I can't move
All my hope has turned to rust
But sometimes hope surges through my veins
I can smile and really mean it
Sometimes light returns to my face
And I can see through teh dark
But lately, and right now...
Thoughts of death swim in my head
With visions of what could be and what could have been
Subsiding, but sustaining
Releasing, then returning
Fading, but never really ever dying