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Author Topic: "The Plague"--lyrics.  (Read 5890 times)

thirdmovement

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"The Plague"--lyrics.
« on: April 05, 2006, 05:17:45 pm »
so I finished this song a week or so ago.  Believe me when I say that I really do appreciate criticisms and advice.  Please let me know what you think! :)
oh this is about my friend who has depression....

The Plague

You caught it like a cold
And now your sadness can't be sold
No price, no happiness will save
The faded soul you gave away
Somehow you've died
But you're alive

Chorus:
You are the prey of days
    that only feed you more dismay
You are the beauty blind
Eternal darkness steals your sight

But like a thief you have conspired
You want the souls you can't desire
Their pearls for your empty chain
The plague just brings you empty pain
Somehow you've died
But you're alive

[chorus]
Bridge:

Now it seems
My empathy
Is gradually becoming
Apathy
I try to say
You have the plague
But you persist to
Waste away

congratulations! you've reached the end of the song!
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PianoGirl4444

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"The Plague"--lyrics.
« Reply #1 on: April 05, 2006, 07:29:50 pm »
Ooh, I really like it!  For REAL.   :)
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thirdmovement

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"The Plague"--lyrics.
« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2006, 12:50:30 am »
Quote from: "PianoGirl4444"
Ooh, I really like it!  For REAL.   :)

Hey thanks! I'm a little worried though it might be too melodramatic....
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PianoGirl4444

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"The Plague"--lyrics.
« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2006, 04:52:01 am »
I dunno...I don't think so.  Maybe it depends on what the music sounds like.
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thirdmovement

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"The Plague"--lyrics.
« Reply #4 on: April 08, 2006, 01:06:57 pm »
Quote from: "PianoGirl4444"
Maybe it depends on what the music sounds like.


Definitely agree with you there.  Some people think the lyrics are all that matter in a song...but I think a song is so much more complicated than just words...or just notes and chords for that matter.
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PianoGirl4444

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"The Plague"--lyrics.
« Reply #5 on: April 08, 2006, 03:35:44 pm »
Quote from: "thirdmovement"
Quote from: "PianoGirl4444"
Maybe it depends on what the music sounds like.


Definitely agree with you there.  Some people think the lyrics are all that matter in a song...but I think a song is so much more complicated than just words...or just notes and chords for that matter.


Well, yeah!  If only the words mattered, why put it to music in the first place?  Why not just make it a poem?
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MeganJane

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"The Plague"--lyrics.
« Reply #6 on: April 13, 2006, 05:58:06 am »
Congrats, this is good.

I LOVE the metaphor of 'The Plague'. It's excellent.

I am confused by the second verse however. What does it mean to want the souls you can't desire? Why can they not be desired? I would encourage a re-write because I do this for my own songs to make them more easily understood and therefore more accessible. BUT, please explain it, as I've only read it once. It may be just right and I've just missed it. With this deep style of writing, that is easy to do, as the lyrics are meant to be pondered, unlike a typical pop song (the audience all understands what "I love you baby and I want you back" means in the immediate sense, that is, as they are listening. Lol.)

I think the bridge is great. The chorus is well-written too, in my opinion.

Are you going to record this? If so please PM me, as I would like to listen to it. What style is it? Are you influenced by VC?
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thirdmovement

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"The Plague"--lyrics.
« Reply #7 on: April 17, 2006, 05:25:38 pm »
whoa whoa thanks so much for the feedback!
I guess when I wrote that line (you want the souls you can't desire)...I was trying to say something to the effect of: you want it, but you can't have it.  But you're right in that even if you can't have it, you can still want it. This was one of the most difficult lines for me to figure out, because it's a complex thought that's hard to put in words...but I guess that's the whole point of a song...I actually had another line in mind to replace that one. let me know what you think  :)

But like a thief you have conspired
You need their souls to feed your fire
Their pearls for your empty chain
The plague just brings you empty pain
(I think 'feed' flows better than 'fuel'...and I like the need-feed connection.)

Definitely thanks a lot for pointing that out. It definitely should be changed.
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MeganJane

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"The Plague"--lyrics.
« Reply #8 on: April 17, 2006, 11:50:31 pm »
It's better. I like it.   :)

I like your style.  :D

I'm very intrigued.... what style is it? Do you play an instrument? It sounds like a song I want to hear.
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"Music produces a kind of pleasure that human nature cannot do without."
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"It is hard. You have to fight for who you are everyday" -VANESSA CARLTON

thirdmovement

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"The Plague"--lyrics.
« Reply #9 on: April 18, 2006, 08:53:06 am »
well thanks again!
I was debating this line in my head for quite some time...and I'm going to make one more subtle change so it's: You need their fuel to feed your fire. yes yes..I like how it looks too.

Oh and sorry, I meant to address your questions earlier but forgot.  :?  So, almost always when I play a song for somebody they ask what genre it would be.  Frankly, I don't know.  When I first started I sounded quite a bit like vanessa, but in the past year I've been writing, I've tried to discover my own style, and this song is one where I think I'm taking a pretty nice leap in my own direction.  Oh and yea I play the piano and am a soloist and I do try to make my songs appealing...not necessarily in a "pop" sort of way but in a Beethoven sort of way.  Does that make any sense? haha.  Especially this song sounds a lot like a simplistic beethoven. Well, it sounds complex, but nothing like true classical music.  I think if you were to type this song by comparing it with v's, it would a combination of white houses, papa, and paradise. I'm pretty confused by it all to tell you the truth! But I hope to save up some cash or something and go record it so you can hear it.  Probably won't be for a while, but I'll definitely pm you when I get an mp3.
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MeganJane

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« Reply #10 on: April 18, 2006, 08:00:40 pm »
You're welcome.  :)

I think i liked what you were going to change that line to before (the one that mentions souls...) better, but they're both cool and it's your song. It sounds awesome. I am a singer/songwriter/pianist/guitarist/etc. and I am completely obsessed with music, but as for what genre I write in... I'm not sure either!!! Lol. It's like Vanessa crossed with Metallica with many other influences as well but it's my own style... it's like rock & metal with classical influences (maybe "simplified Beethoven"!?). I like that term. That's very cool. I'm just getting into Beethoven now. His music is so expressive and spontaneous-sounding. This is very cool to chat with another artist. Hehe. And you too Shannon.  :) I can't wait to record.

and by the way.... this is music! Be as dramatic as you like. (Beethoven certainly is. Appassionata....) Also, dunno what the music scene is like where you are, but emo is quite popular over here in Adelaide. Lol.)
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"Music produces a kind of pleasure that human nature cannot do without."
-CONFUCIUS

"It is hard. You have to fight for who you are everyday" -VANESSA CARLTON

thirdmovement

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"The Plague"--lyrics.
« Reply #11 on: April 19, 2006, 03:39:24 pm »
Quote from: "MeganJane"
Also, dunno what the music scene is like where you are, but emo is quite popular over here in Adelaide. Lol.


haha! funny you should say that....cuz I just did an open stage thing about a month ago and I played one of my songs and when I finished this girl in the back screamed: "Emo!" and then she laughed and told me there was absolutely nothing wrong with emo.  But I don't want to be tooooo emo. I just want to be me.  That's awesome you have your own style. (I'd like to hear it too!) I don't think I'm there yet, but I will be.  (I'm very critical of my music, so I might never think I have my own style, but oh well.)  And thanks so much for the feedback again.  I hope the mods aren't too annoyed that we're having our own little conversation within this single thread.  8)
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MeganJane

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« Reply #12 on: June 06, 2006, 01:19:09 am »
Na... anyone is welcome to join in, and I encourage them to!!!

Any plans for recording?
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"Music produces a kind of pleasure that human nature cannot do without."
-CONFUCIUS

"It is hard. You have to fight for who you are everyday" -VANESSA CARLTON
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