A poem I wrote

[JazzyManda]

I don't have a title, it's really short, and it's my first poem. Hurray. haha

Between the time of wake and sleep
My mind then finds a further deep
Questions, answers, split in two
To form same dreams; nothing new

I want to ask, I want to find
But nothing bonds a splitting mind
In times when pain becomes my peace
And love can form my sole release
From space that holds my mind in two

Still nothing’s more, nothing’s new

Over and over pictures play
Hope for love, for love to stay
To stay away the pain in mind
The space that hold that world behind

Waves of hope and tides of joy
Flood my heart each night and boy, oh boy
To reach that day when dreams are true
When minds are one and something’s new


Amanda

[me and my piano---tim]

oh my god that's amazing. wow, ive actually felt that way but never I could I explain it so eloquently. I'll have to reread it again! You must have pretty vivid dreams.

[Tellurium]

I really liked it! That was really good. The rhyming structure was beautiful, it added a nice rhythm and flow to the poem, and sounded so natural. All in all, it was amazing.

[joey]

hey thats neat...real nice flow to it...

[NoelleNC]

Really good for a first poem. You've got some neat images and ideas in this. I'll only say this because it's your first poem, and I'm not sure how familiar you are with poetry, but don't feel confined to structure and rhyme. How I think of it is, many times you can find a lot of freedom and creativity in structure, but do not choose a word just because it rhymes. A poetry teacher and pretty famous poet from my college told my poetry class, 'You have to make sure each word, each line, is earned (Especially in a poem, where each word especially counts. Compare the word importance in a poem to a novel). If you have not earned a line, no matter how good it is alone, it will not work for the piece.' That is what she said, in so many words. I paraphrased. But I think that is really good advice. So, to a burgeoning poet, if you are trying to start into it, it's a good thing to consider when writing.