what should I do: 1st song I've ever shared with anyone!

[Kate]

wow, I've got the feeling that you can't help writing! congratulations!  

[iluvvanessa]

it gets my emotions out, and i think its a good creative outlet.

[iluvvanessa]

this song makes me out as a murder, i am not, this song is about taking revenge on someone who has done something wrong to you. though revenge isnt always the best thing, it is something we all want to do, and at that given moment think its the best thing we can do, sometimes it is and sometimes not, its one of those learning situations where once you take action you'll find out if it was a good or bad choice.

once again i am not a murderer and have no thoughts of killing ANYONE.

make it hurt

This games not about making friends
I'm in it to win oh
Not about making friends
I will somehow get you back
With a rusty knife
Somehow ill get you back

I am here in the dark
And you won't know or see
Before I fight to the death
And spill a bloody mess

And you seem to runaway
No one will see what I did
Or even look the other way
Not a though or a care
In the still of the night
When I'm here ready to fight
Its life or death
And I know now ill win
You can't stop me

I know what to do
And not to leave a clue
No one will ever find me
No one will ever find....

I'm alone in the dark
Not afraid to hunt you down
When you least expect it
Is when it comes the best
The hardest way
A bitter after shock will do
Of this cold way of life
No one will find this sharp knife
Piercing through your heart

I wanna make it hurt
Just to see the look on your face
I wanna make it hurt
The scared look on your face

You're afraid of what ill do
Killing you will always be
My favorite part
Cause I'll know that I won
(Laughs)

And you seem to runaway
No one will no what I did
Or even look the other way
I'd hate to say
You won't be missed
By me or all the ones you decieved
In the end
You're a low down person
Who will do what they can to hurt.

[iluvvanessa]

A big decision has come to me
So now the question is here
Do I use my brain or follow my heart
Leave from a place
Where I belong
Or go somewhere that is wrong for me

You're my friend and my lover
But self centered
Youre a saint you're a bitch
You're a cold hearted witch
But call me sweetie
Who should I believe when I am

Faced with this problem
Trust my heat or trust my brain
I feel like I'm going insane
Pulled side to side
Smashed in the ocean tide
Oh its killing me inside

Its time to choose
will I win or lose
That I can't predict
The candles burned out to the wick
Sucked the life right out of me
I am watching

(Spoken)
You're standing right in front of me
Making mistakes
Ruining your life
Its tearing me apart
How can I make it stop

How oh how ho-ooooooow
Do I choose whats right
I just don't know what might happen
But who can predict

I see a psychic
She reads my palms
and draws some cards
Go to church and give some alms
Hoping someones out there watching me

The choice is mine
Ill do the rest
live my life to the best
That It can be
I can't wo-o-rry---

Its a daily thing
Disaster it strikes everyone
Ill just do my best to trust both
My brain and my heart.

[iluvvanessa]

Here's a song I wrote, its about me and my friends. A group that I call my "friends". They are just so negative, and it pains me to be around them, but its one of those relationships you can't break away from because you don't want to make enemies with them, and if you stop being friends, you've lost like ten people out of your life. This year imparticular has been a major changing time on my life, I have found so much more about myself, I have made new friends, I've grown up, but I can't realize these changes I've made and live them out to their fullest potential because there are people (and there always will be) who are holding me down, and at this time and moment I feel that I have to break free from their I guess "spell" and as my song deplicts fly away. But its oh so hard. Alas, here's my song.

Autopsy

Your darkness overwhelms my heart
Without batting an eye
You crush my hopes and dreams
A broken bird Unable to fly
Held down by your negativity

Dragging me pulling me
Down to the ground
Im screaming I'm shouting
But My words are silent
My lifes turning
Crumbling out from under me
How do I make it stop

Save me from this Death sentence
the Key to my cell is
Right out of my Reach
My death row pardon
Came a minute too late

I'm running I'm hiding
And you catch me
I'm jumping from the top
And you let me go

I've fallen into your
Trap again Its you who
Cast this spell upon me
I try and I try and I

Try and I try and try
But can't escape

You pull me back
Lay me down
Autopsy my body
Find that I died from
The impact of your Negativity

[iluvvanessa]

Here's a new song I wrote about being with someone who you really like and they either don't like you back or treat you or speak to you in a demeaning manner.

The sun is frozen

A hot wind
Leaves a chill on me
The snow makes me feel
As if I'm burning

Your eyes catch me
A fish stuck in a net
making me stumble and fall
Sometimes I wish
I could have it all

Your words circle
Around in my head
They make me feel
As If I'm dead

I'm laying here wondering
What to do
I am stuck
Without a clue
A glimpse of luck
Perhaps will help

The snow falls burning
The sun shines freezing
Would it all end
I don't want to be left Incomplete

A finished picture on the wall
now A blank canvas
Your words have been cleared
Lets start over

The world is frozen
Except for me and you
Now were alive
Awoken from the depths
The sos has finally been seen
Now we are free
Or are we

Cause the sun shines so bright
But emmits a cool feeling
The snow it falls heavily
But makes me feel warm

I'm unsure of all
that's come and gone
But one thing that makes me
Feel as if I have wisdom
Is how we feel when we say
Lets start a new beginning

[iluvvanessa]

More than blood

Here I lie awake next to you
A swet lullaby
you sing me To sleep
You take my empty mind
and fill it with these empty thoughts
Posioning taking me away

I am not
what I used to be
Your thought
Burns inside of me

Washing out my brain
Cleaning empty spaces
And filling them with
Dirty thoughts of suicide
Leaving and never coming back

I've gotta leave
Get out Of here
I'm gonna heave and throw it all up
And get rid of all the thoughts
That poisoned me

You don't have to appreciate it
You don't even have tosee
All of what was me
I was just fine

I know now
I know now

More than blood runs through my veins
Forever poisoned
By your ways
I will always feel it
Always feel it
Never can get rid of it
Always there
Inside of me.

[iluvvanessa]

So here's a song I wrote today, its kind of my take on more than this, and that true love will prevail if you fight hard enough for love. Its still in its "raw" stage I guess you can call it and neds to be revised, and I have no title for it yet.

The ground in which we walk
Was blessed by the light
But all I feel is the dark
Around me eating me

The full moon above
Calls out to the stones
Where bones are buried
And it makes me wonder

What if we were chosen now
Would we die a peaceful death
Or would we look back
Full of regret

Be happy with what you have
And never wish for more
You may not think so now
But what you have is so great and

the black figures in the sky
Should set a scary setting
But make me wonder why
I am here under the black lifeless sky

The demons surround me
And I want out of here
And The flames they engulf me
My soul will fight strong
I'm pulled apart from you
True love will prevail

I run and hide
But I'm in plain site
I'm trapped in the dance of a devil
Not knowing what to do or where to go
Its their test
but I am not theirs tonight

[iluvvanessa]

Emptiness

Her tears dry
Before they pour out
Her voice empties
Before she shouts
She hides her hopes and feelings away
So no one ever knew that
She fels this way

Before she leaves she
Glues on a fake face
Its the sad honest truth
Not everyone can see
What she's feeling

She writes and calls but no response
As if no one really cares
The emptiness turns her heart to black
A spreading case of depression
Shows what she's missing

Don't be afraid to let it out
Stop pretending You're
not capable of anything
No one can tell what you are thinking
If you stay bottled up

A climb up to the rooftop
Her fate awaits
A loss of balance or was it
Leads to her death
She couldn't keep on living
She finally feels free

A tragic loss leaves us left wondering
What was going on in
Her seemingly perfect life

----------


I was there.

A foggy day I board the train
No intentions to go back
You didn't see what was in your face
My potential led to disgrace
Why must it all end like this

Although its sad I have to go
Its the best thing that I can do
But there's one thing
I want you to know

I'm leavin you here
The wind runs through your hair
Its your mistake not to take
All that I had to offer

And Why couldn't you see
What you had standing right in front of you
And I won't waste my time waiting
I, I was there

I gave you my best and all I could offer
I left my character
And tried to join paths with you
I opened up but you remained closed

And why can't you see
That I gave you all I had
All that was me

I try, I try but don't
seem to get through

[Morgan]

I see your lyrics are getting progressively more mature. I really enjoy reading them.

[iluvvanessa]

thanks, I have noticed that too.

[iluvvanessa]

Who's there for me.

Where am I going I think I'm lost
You were right beside me
But now your gone Torn away  
but ill live to see another day

Who are the people I can trust
Who are my friends that wont                  leave me in the dust
I'm still growing up and finding Why I'm here

With every disaster I will
Seek adventure and with
Every argument I will
Search for truth just so I can find someone
Who will take me how I am

I keep stumbling along this
Same old empty path
I am lost but i know where I'm going to
Somehow I know I'll find my way to you

who's the one that will stay with me
Say they support me uncoditionally
I'm out there searching hoping to find

Who are the people I can trust
Who are my friends that won't
Leave me in the dust
I'm still growing up and finding why I'm here

Times are growing harder now
With each step I take
I feel like I'm going back two
Please someone show me how
I can turn my life back around

Who are the people I can trust
Who are my friends that won't
leave me In the dust
I'm still growing and finding out why I'm here
 
I come to you when I want support
You tear me down and you Cut me short
But I am so much more
than you gove me credit for

Who are the people I can trust
Who are my friends that wont
leave me in the dust.

---still very much in the editing process---

And here's another. I'm not sure what to title it, but if you have an idea plase tell.

He is sitting curled up
Empty broken hearted wanting nothing More than to be accepted for who he is

People have been cruely judging
Coming to false conclusions but
They don't even know him

Why can't they just look at him and see
Who is really there
Why don't they just open their minds
And let him live without this constant - pressure

A simple question makes
The biggest fight
They're only open to what
They think might Be the truth
He must to prove them wrong
But should he have to prove anything

Why cant they just look at him and See
Who is really there
Why don't they just open their mind
And let him live without this constant-pressure

He is broken hearted
Held back from what he hopes for most
So much is wrong So little right
He's still finding himself
And shaping who he is

And why can't they just look at him and see
All what he can possibly be
Why don't they let him, let him be free
To be what he wants

But instead they still
Laugh at him he's their joke
What made him be the one
they choose to tear down

He is sitting curled up
Empty and wishing for someone
To save him

Can't they just look at him and see
Who is really there
Why don't they just open their minds
And live in peace

[iluvvanessa]

Beyond Wonderland:

The day is fading
You and I sit beneath
We watch the sky as it blooms and changes
This is perfect, you and I
I don't know who I'd rather spend my whole life with but you

Suddenly, suddenly i feel like i am
beyond wonderland nothing can go wrong
our hand holds are interlocking
our lips leave a shocking truth
this time will be our song
this is what i call instant bliss

I need no more than you
The earth is our empty canvas
We can fill it up, i know its true
I've found the Buddha, here in times of trouble
And now i feel like its alright because

Suddenly, suddenly i feel like i am
beyond wonderland nothing can go wrong
our hand holds are interlocking
our lips leave a shocking truth
this time will be our song
this is what i call instant bliss

I'm walking free without a care
you're the one who gets me there
I will miss these days
If they should come to an end
But for now

We are floating, flying high
Above and beyond
words can't describe
your simple touch, your honest smile that
Takes me beyond wonderland

[xxlovelyxx]

So this is the 1st time i ve ever shared a song with anyone, so her it is. Its titled what should I do, and it was inspired by my sister, calling me names, and just the anger that can build up when you fight and just don't let ypur emmorions out, and not knowing what to do, or what to think.

so her it is tell me what you think:

What should I do

You say I'm ugly
You call me names
But you know what I think
Wait you don't care

What can I do
to make this stop
why can't we just
Work it out

Where should I go
Up or down
What should I do
Smile or frown

Who are you
You're not the same
What are you
I think you're a monster
From a video game

Where should I go
Up or down
what should I do
Smile or frown

I don't know the answer
I don't know what to do
I need a clue
Am I getting through
To you

Where should I go
Up or down
What should I do
Smile or frown

That was terrible. I am sorry but its true.

[WhiteRabbit]

thats good!