I agree, i had something very interesting happen to me last night..
Hmm, I think I'm just weird. Oh wait, we already know that.
Well I've been trying to double my thinking, make myself phycisifrantic, in a differnt way. I've been trying to act as I normally do, and yet analyze myself and whatever I am doing.
So this is what I have come up with:
I think I don't tend to care what
most the people think of me, because as soon as high school is over, the ones I hang around, the ones I've talked to in class, won't remember my name, won't care to talk to me, won't even smile when then pass by.
I think my trying to impress someone would be wasting my time, when I can invest my time in things that will suit me better when later years come. I mean when I'm in a class, unless the person is a good friend of mine I don't tend to talk, unless I am making fun of the teacher.
In first period, PE, I talk to Chuckie, and Turner, that is basically it, their really my friend, and I know that if I was shot or something they'd be at the hospital fast as hell. I don't seem to get the feeling that I should be trying to look cool for the other kids when they'll do nothing for me, and I nothing for them.
In 2nd period, I know almost everyone in their, I'd call them friends, but their really just aquaintenances. I talk in there, but its only to crack jokes, I don't try to impress anyone, I feel no need, I mean some of them are nice people, but they all seem strange.
In 3rd, I'm really just there to make fun of the teacher, I knew some of those people before that class, their aquaintenances too, one kid Chris I'd say is a pretty good friend. Some of those people are evil judgemental! I mean its crazy, I've earned most their ''approval'' though by making fun of the teacher. It's weird to me. If I hate a teacher I make fun of them, they don't know it's happening though. That's my thing, they make me suffer, I make them suffer. But I think it's stupid that I have become ''cool'' to most of them because of that. I've almost completly stopped because it's gotten to be stupid because their really annoying me! I'd say 8 or so of the people who knew me before that class were the ones laughing about my jokes before I became ''cool'' to the rest.
I don't know where I'm going with this but I think I need to stop, I'm tired, my head hurts, and rambling is a habit...
