Who pays?

[eclv]

So I have been going through this a few times now and was wondering your thoughts. When someone comes to visit you from say, NYC and you go out to eat, who do you think should pay?

I think that the person who travelled all that way should be treated to the meal.

[NESSAussie]

Having worked as a Sommelier for the last 7½ years, I can say that in almost
every case the visitor/s are treated to dinner by their host. This is not without
its limitations however; usually there is an agreed limit on the expenditure for
food and certainly for wine/s. $84 would certainly be ok... if treating Nessa to

[zurielshimon]

I would have to say it would depend on who it is coming to visit and how often they come.  If it's someone you really love, then by all means treat them.  If they just like to ride in and mooch off you, tell them how it is.  But if it falls in between, then it should probably be separate checks.

[jlmusicchick]

The host should pay for at least one meal. but i also see no harm in splitting the rest of the meals.

[eclv]

Having worked as a Sommelier for the last 7½ years

I just learned that word (Sommelier) last weekend. My brother works at a winery in Napa testing the levels etc. etc. and they had one come out.

And of course with V...    

I would have to say it would depend on who it is coming to visit and how often they come.  If it's someone you really love, then by all means treat them.  If they just like to ride in and mooch off you, tell them how it is.  But if it falls in between, then it should probably be separate checks.

Good point.

The host should pay for at least one meal. but i also see no harm in splitting the rest of the meals.

I find that with really good friends and we're together more than a few days I will pay for the initial meal or if I am visiting them they will pay. Then we just kinda take turns. Although, I don't like it sometimes my funds can't handle it all.

Thanks for your guys' and gals' imput. I am wondering what more Eastcoast people thing as my friend is from there and another one of her friends thinks that the visiting person should pay too.

[zurielshimon]

Another thing I'd like to say:  We go see my cousin from time to time (usually every couple or three months) down in Memphis, and he usually offers to treat us to a meal when we're down.  In fact, I think we should start planning our next trip soon.  :wink:

But to make it clear, he offers; we don't ask.  And I try to keep it reasonable.

In most cases, the host should pay for the first meal and all proceeding meals should be split.  But if the visitor is quite wealthy or something, I guess I could see him/her picking up the bill.

[jlmusicchick]

yeah, as long as the initial meal isn't extravagent then usually the host pays. if someone is paying for my meal i try to keep it on the cheaper side, and if i end up getting something expensive then i usually offer to leave the tip or pay for some of the bill.

[NESSAussie]

My brother works at a winery in Napa and they had a Sommelier come out.

Awesome Let I want to work in SF so I can visit the Napa just as easily; as
wine reconnaissance goes, cellar door trips rate highly! Which Winery is it? :?

[eclv]

He works at Trinchero

[zurielshimon]

I'll never forget a trip some friends and I took to St. Louis once.  It was, I think, a three-day or three-night trip (can't remember), and we all split up the budget in a way that was supposed to have been roughly even.  I was handling the food expenses, someone else was paying for gas, and two others split the cost of the room.  It was all supposed to work out and we took cash.  On the first night, we met up with some more of my friends and their friends from the St. Louis area and ate at the Hard Rock Café.  The ones we met up with handled their own checks, and I paid for everyone's food from Tennessee.  There went our entire $83 budget for food the first night!  So, the rest of the trip we were forced to scratch up change and eat at like McDonald's and Burger King. :razz:

[LimeTwister]

I am gonna be the oddball...but if you're letting someone stay at your house...i would think it would be them paying because they're not having to pay for like a hotel room, etc.  unless you invited them--then you should pay.  but you can never really go wrong with separate checks.

[eclv]

This is true Limey! I usually like to practice that too unless it's like a week or more, or if my funds are low.

[NESSAussie]

He works at Trinchero

Thank you Let That wine challenge is great but there are only 30 questions
in the database, so I went from Wine Novice to Wine Master in 2 attempts :thumbsup:

Peace

Aaron

[PIBby]

The person being visited pays. It's like in France: if you invite someone to go to dinner, you pay because YOU'RE the reason he is there. It's like inviting someone to your house, but expepcting them to bring his own food. Or pillows, blankets, and bed. Or toilet. It seems pointless and impolite.

Inviting someone to your house for, say, vacation is an attempt to free someone from whatever problems he has at home and it's helping him. With that, it's helping him both mentally (getting away from work, etc.) and financially. Expecting him to pay is saying, "I want to help you, but only a little," which, to me, is bullshit.

I don't know . . . I don't really understand rudeness and inconsideration anymore. I've grown up and realized being mean isn't cool. Isn't it sad that people allow themselves to think that way?

EDIT: PS I would never expect someone to pay for me if I was visiting a relative or friend, but I think it's universal that that's how it goes. I don't know. Nevermind. I feel retarded. I just like manners.