meet her?

[sarab]

As for the discussion about her attitude towards fans, I have a few thoughts based on my own experiences.  No, I'm not a musician, nor do I have any fans but I do have experience with insecurities.  I am an extremely shy person (in real life; the computer gives me boldness).  When I am in public situations, and back when I was in school I RARELY talk (though I am getting better as I get older).  I have since learned to at least put a smile on my face, but I didn't used to and people thought I was a bitch!  I'm only quite because I fear rejection, I'm afraid of sounding stupid, I hate my nasal voice, and I am ALWAYS nervous that people will not like me.  Now, you might be thinking, what does this have to do with Vanessa?? People love her, they tell her they love her and her music!  Depression and insecurities run very deep and you can't just snap your fingers to make them go away.  If you have a bad day or are feeling particularly down on yourself, even if you just played a set in front of fans, nothing matters but that deep well of darkness. How I feel on the inside is often reflected on how I treat people, even the ones that love me (especially the ones that love me).  I am only guessing that Vanessa has some sort of depression based on her music mainly (and why I connect so deeply to it and her).  With the new information we have about her being bisexual it ALL makes sense to me.  She was most likely denying to everyone and to herself that she is bisexual. Denying a part of yourself, hating a part of yourself that you cannot change, thinking others won't like you if they know, and not feeling worth anything.  Combine this all with the fact that she is in the public eye being judged, she has put her soul to record and people are not liking it, and it's not successful...that is just a recipe for depression.  So she might not feel like talking to people because of what is going on inside of her.  She also seems very introspective and thoughtful, if not old fashioned and I think this is why she doesn't necessarily use technology to her advantage and stay in touch with her fans as others do.  She's not the type to make a tweet every time she goes to the bathroom.  I mean, wouldn't you rather have these clever, witty, thoughtful tweets that keep us guessing and in discussion (and to look up who the heck Jack K is and then maybe expand our own minds by reading him as well?) than to know every move she makes?  I don't think she'd be the V we love if she were to do that. 

( I posted this in "will you still be a fan after heros and thieves)

[sarab]

there is also the fact that she MAY have done a meet and greet before the show like she did at the the concert I went to in Feb at the college.  we waited for her after just in case, but she went out a different way than she came in so we missed her.  I don't blame her for that, she probably had a very long day. 

[alanisrox69]

Alright, well that was your experience and that's too bad. You don't know, maybe she was sick, tired, had something else to do. She does not owe us anything. Yes, a hello, wave or whatever is nice but you just don't know. Maybe she didn't see the you all, maybe the assistant didn't give her the message. Didn't want to take someone else's spotlight as it wasn't her show. None of this means she is a snob.

It is about the music and that's all it should be about. Anypersonal interaction is a bonus.

This is way off topic and as soon as I find out where to put it, it will be moved.

No she saw us. She looked at the little girl and then looked at us, and just continued on her way.

I'm not judging her, or anything. I'm stating my experiences, and I've read the same attitude from her from other NON nessaholics. So it's not just an "off day" or whatever you holics are calling it

I totally get how you want to stick up for her, completely understand. I'm not saying you can't have your opinions. Just like I don't expect you to like every AM song either.

[alanisrox69]

there is also the fact that she MAY have done a meet and greet before the show like she did at the the concert I went to in Feb at the college.  we waited for her after just in case, but she went out a different way than she came in so we missed her.  I don't blame her for that, she probably had a very long day.  

No, there was no Meet and Greet at either show. (Though, at the 3EB show, the M+G was after the show -- but this had nothing to do with VC...just 3EB...)

[alanisrox69]

^^^

You are in no place to judge someone. People have off days maybe she didn't feel like signing anything. She's mentioned she has depression. Also, may I remind you it seems like she has made these past two albums for the fans...I'm sure it was for her too but...I dont think shes doing it for the money. She financed this album herself...she didnt HAVE to make it. She did it for us. Yeah...what a snob.  

These experiences do not reflect in any current review about Rabbits On The Run. I was merely expressing my distaste for her repeated (what I call snobby) behavior in real-person. Perhaps it's because I'm used to AM coming OVER TO US and saying hi, sign autos, chat with us, take individual pictures with us, hug us and thank us repeatedly for our support and show her gratitude to us (as we do her).

[sarab]

Alright, well that was your experience and that's too bad. You don't know, maybe she was sick, tired, had something else to do. She does not owe us anything. Yes, a hello, wave or whatever is nice but you just don't know. Maybe she didn't see the you all, maybe the assistant didn't give her the message. Didn't want to take someone else's spotlight as it wasn't her show. None of this means she is a snob.

It is about the music and that's all it should be about. Anypersonal interaction is a bonus.

This is way off topic and as soon as I find out where to put it, it will be moved.

No she saw us. She looked at the little girl and then looked at us, and just continued on her way.

I'm not judging her, or anything. I'm stating my experiences, and I've read the same attitude from her from other NON nessaholics. So it's not just an "off day" or whatever you holics are calling it

I totally get how you want to stick up for her, completely understand. I'm not saying you can't have your opinions. Just like I don't expect you to like every AM song either.

No, we don't have to like every song, in fact, I stopped listening to AM after her second album.  I don't believe she had a mainstream hit (inthe US anyway, to my knowledge which is admittedly limited because I don't listen to radio) BUT I'm not going to disrespect her by saying it sucked or that there were only 2 good songs, ect.  I have respect for her because she is also an artist with unique attributes to the extent that I'm sure I don't understand.

[sarab]

^^^

You are in no place to judge someone. People have off days maybe she didn't feel like signing anything. She's mentioned she has depression. Also, may I remind you it seems like she has made these past two albums for the fans...I'm sure it was for her too but...I dont think shes doing it for the money. She financed this album herself...she didnt HAVE to make it. She did it for us. Yeah...what a snob.  

These experiences do not reflect in any current review about Rabbits On The Run. I was merely expressing my distaste for her repeated (what I call snobby) behavior in real-person. Perhaps it's because I'm used to AM coming OVER TO US and saying hi, sign autos, chat with us, take individual pictures with us, hug us and thank us repeatedly for our support and show her gratitude to us (as we do her).

vanessa knows a few nessaholics by name.  I think your experiences were exceptions to the rule.

[alanisrox69]

^^^

You are in no place to judge someone. People have off days maybe she didn't feel like signing anything. She's mentioned she has depression. Also, may I remind you it seems like she has made these past two albums for the fans...I'm sure it was for her too but...I dont think shes doing it for the money. She financed this album herself...she didnt HAVE to make it. She did it for us. Yeah...what a snob.  

These experiences do not reflect in any current review about Rabbits On The Run. I was merely expressing my distaste for her repeated (what I call snobby) behavior in real-person. Perhaps it's because I'm used to AM coming OVER TO US and saying hi, sign autos, chat with us, take individual pictures with us, hug us and thank us repeatedly for our support and show her gratitude to us (as we do her).

vanessa knows a few nessaholics by name.  I think your experiences were exceptions to the rule.

That may be so, however, my experiences aren't the only 'bad taste' ones. That sure is a lot of 'exceptions'. There are plenty of others I've heard about via forums (I believe most were posted on the official VC forum, which doesn't seem to be active anymore?). And since you had already posted a "theory" on why others perceive her this way, it's obviously a known issue within the VC community...and not something that's just coming out of the blue.....

[charmed23]

@alanisrox69: I would like to apologize to you and state that at one point Nessaholics were NOT this irregularly fanatical, and we were very diverse, respectful and accepting of others' disagreement on VC.

... wow to think back, that was a long long time ago, when her official forum during the Harmonium era was filled with very different but humble fans.
now it is scary to read comments of these hard-core VC fans and see how blindly they are in attacking absolutely anyone who just does not praise Vanessa as THE Goddess.
sad sad sad. Shame on the rest of Vanessa's fans. if she has any. because yup you are right, alanisrox69, Vanessa Carlton is not the nicest idol out there. Which is completely fine by me. but the it is the reactions of these obsessed Nessaholics that turned me against Vanessa herself. and the community has been dwindling down ever since these hardcore fans took over.

I miss the old friends on these boards. I wonder if they still care enough for VC to sometimes check the forum now that she is releasing a new album.

[kaysha]

I would just suggest if you plan on seeing any of Vanessa's new shows, you provide your opinion again on whether or not you still think she is a "snob."  your examples are from the '02 and '04 years and i have seen a very large change in Vanessa since that time.  She was so busy and so in high demand around those years and struggling to figure out who she was... every show i've seen from 07 to 11 she has come out to talk, sign, take pictures, etc.  I'm not saying this is going to be the norm now for *every* show but it certainly seems to be a more recent pattern.

Calvin -- who do you miss?  there are a bunch of folks still around that i've seen coming out of the woodworks.   and really, who are these humble fans you speak of on the oboard?! usually the oboard was just plagued with spam and bickering (which now seems to have moved here... lol great!)

-katia

[BWilli]

I would just suggest if you plan on seeing any of Vanessa's new shows, you provide your opinion again on whether or not you still think she is a "snob."  your examples are from the '02 and '04 years and i have seen a very large change in Vanessa since that time.  She was so busy and so in high demand around those years and struggling to figure out who she was... every show i've seen from 07 to 11 she has come out to talk, sign, take pictures, etc.  I'm not saying this is going to be the norm now for *every* show but it certainly seems to be a more recent pattern.
-katia

Agreed.   She's always been nice enough to come out and sign.  I can only think of 1 or 2 occasions where she didn't.   And I've seen her come out even when she's looked exhausted from touring.   

She recognizes those who come out often and have been around for a long time, and I for one, adore her for that.

[joey]

I'm reminded of that quote that speaks of something about wanting a new pair of shoes until I saw a man who had no feet ... You should honestly just be happy dude to have even SEEN her LIVE in concert.

There are hardcore fans (Hint: Me) here who haven't had the fortune/opportunity to even SEE her LIVE.

Not complaining. Just. Meh.

[sarab]

@alanisrox69: I would like to apologize to you and state that at one point Nessaholics were NOT this irregularly fanatical, and we were very diverse, respectful and accepting of others' disagreement on VC.

... wow to think back, that was a long long time ago, when her official forum during the Harmonium era was filled with very different but humble fans.
now it is scary to read comments of these hard-core VC fans and see how blindly they are in attacking absolutely anyone who just does not praise Vanessa as THE Goddess.
sad sad sad. Shame on the rest of Vanessa's fans. if she has any. because yup you are right, alanisrox69, Vanessa Carlton is not the nicest idol out there. Which is completely fine by me. but the it is the reactions of these obsessed Nessaholics that turned me against Vanessa herself. and the community has been dwindling down ever since these hardcore fans took over.

I miss the old friends on these boards. I wonder if they still care enough for VC to sometimes check the forum now that she is releasing a new album.

I hope you realize I was not "blindly attacking absolutely anyone"  I didn't post anything on the AM boards that wasn't polite.  And I don't think I've ever posted anything here that wasn't polite or phrased with "in my opinion" or "I think" because I don't want to state something as absolute fact.  I think it's a shame that you feel the need to talk down to us and that we would be the reason not to support Vanessa.  I have not been an official nessaholic since the beginning but ever since I have, I've been greeted with open arms and I may be wrong, but most of the same people who started this website are still here.  For the most part, there isn't even bashing of other artists, and when someone does, they apologize saying, "Im a music snob" or I really just don't prefer that type of music, etc.  I saw none of that.  Everyone was just joining in! oh well, that's why you're there, and we're here.  I have learned to just not go to other boards.

[Ghisy]

My first experience meeting Vanessa was in CT: she was pretty sick (had a bad cold), she still did the whole show and still agreed to meet me after the show (somehow I managed to "score" a m&g through the venue staff, I guess that was VERY lucky).

She's always been more than nice to me ever since. Sure, she always keeps some distance (compared to Kelly Clarkson or Marié Digby who I also love) but I think it's just the way she is as a person.

[B]

I love how this argument has been going on for the better part of 9 years. lol

At the end of the day, every musician, actor, athlete, public figure, etc. is a person. You have the same right to ask the person next to you in the elevator at work for an autograph as you do a public figure. Sure, a public figure has more incentive to please you for their own reputation, but it's not something that you should go into a show expecting to get an autograph or get chatted up unless it is something pre-arranged such as a meet and greet or advertised signing.

It'd be like you leaving work every day and having 20 or 30 people lined up trying to tell you how great of a job you did and expecting you to talk to each and every one of them. Some days that is cool, but I'm sure some days you just want to go home, or have other responsibilities you need to tend to first.

I've wanted for many celebrities in my day, sometimes you're waiting 5 minutes, sometimes you wait 2 hours. Sometimes they come out, sometimes they don't. It depends on what is going on. Often times they have friends/family/etc. who have been invited to the venue or are on the bus and that stuff takes priority. It is what it is. It's kind of a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation. If they stop and sign for 5-7 people, the other people who run over that don't get signatures are mad. If they don't sign for everyone to keep it consistent, that can easily be taken the wrong way, too.

Is V the most charismatic celebrity I've ever met? No. I'd say in general she is cordial. She appreciates her fans, but she isn't the type of person who is generally effusive in her appreciation. I've met other artists like Lenka and Brandi Carlile who start conversations with you and actually ask you if you want to take pictures with them, but that's just how they are.

I guess to me, it is what it is. People say Ryan Braun is a jerk because he doesn't sign a lot for free. I met him and he was a really nice guy. Same with Prince Fielder. It is disappointing when people have poor experiences with another person, especially a public figure, but without knowing why that experience happened typically I feel it is best to withhold judgment.