i need advice...

[Holly]

whoa.. lol, i didnt say i was only looking for a friend with benifits! i'm saying thats what i HAVE now! i said i'm looking for a
r-e-l-a-t-i-o-n-s-h-i-p! and all i'm doing is letting him cuddle with me and hold my hand, i'm not leading him on... i'm just seeing if he likes me by doing that! it takes awhile to build a relationship, not only 5 days. how am i sposed to know if i like this guy in 5 days? theres been times when i like him and times when i dont in the time i've seen him... right now i like him tho! lmao, he took me off roading near the rosebowl, that was fun.
but right now we're just taking it slow... tonight my friend was like "go sit on his lap!!" and i wouldnt even do that... i'm not the one to make the moves, so i definatly couldnt lead him on.

[neos]

Men are not complicated.  Hes looking for a relationship.  If you AREN'T then either give him some booty so he wont feel like a COMPELTE loser, or just leave the poor guy ALONE!!!

I don't agree here, it's usually the other way round... girl wants a relationship, boy wants to hang around without any commitment.

Also, you dont have to be madly in love with a guy to date him.  Just go out with him.

Yeah, that's true. You can just go out with him, take it slowly, see how it goes, and if it works then the relationship will develop into something more serious, but if it doesn't then it's fine. going out with someone doesn't mean you're gonna get married

[David Hart]

I don't agree here, it's usually the other way round... girl wants a relationship, boy wants to hang around without any commitment.

Hmmmmmm I don't agree with this. Most of women I know only want the booty, then they kick you out at 6am. I know so many nice guys who have problems finding women who want more than a "fuck buddy" relationship.

[Grakthis]

all i'm doing is letting him cuddle with me and hold my hand, i'm not leading him on... i'm just seeing if he likes me by doing that!

Ah. the naivity of youth.  How I miss it.  

Ok, lets go through the logic of this.  Here are the facts thus far...

1.  Guys, in general, are not emtional creatures.  We don't like to cuddle, we like to have sex.  We only cuddle if we have to or we are REALLY into a chick.

2.  Holly's guy is cuddling with her and holding hands with her and has repeatedly said nice things about her and about his time with her.

3.  Holly's guy is not getting sex from her.

So what does this tell us about this guy?

Answer:  He really likes Holly

So he really likes Holly, and Holly isn't sure if she likes him... yet she is doing things that would indicate she does.  such as holding hands with him.

So what is Holly doing?  Thats right, leading him on.   :wink:  

Holly, you seem to think that a relationship is something that you both sit around and discuss and suddenly "decide" you're in.  This is not jr high anymore.  You dont go up to him and say "will you be my boyfriend".   The way it works is, you go out, you hookup a few times.  If you continue to enjoy eachothers company after about 2 months of this then it might be time to actually discuss your feelings with eachother.  But there is no point worrying about the "relationship" until you make sure you two are compatible.  You do this by going out together! ALONE!  It's called DATING.  Dating is FUN!  It's the best part of a relationship! Try it!

this may sound condescending, but thats not the intention... I wish someone had sat me down when I was 15 and gone through this crap with me instead of making me learn it on my own.
---Andrew

[Grakthis]

David, I disagree with you.  It's always the girls who try and trap ME into a relationship im not ready for.  i wish there were more girls around here that were just looking for cheap sex.

HOWEVER, I dont think Nerea is right either cause she says guys want to "hang out" with no commitment.  No, if we want to hang out with the girl, then that means we enjoy her company, which means we want to date her.  Guys want to have SEX with a girl with no commitment.  Call her at 2am when the bars close and "hang out" for a few hours, maybe  :wink:
---Andrew

[Ghisy]

I know so many nice guys who have problems finding women who want more than a "fuck buddy" relationship.

*raises his hand*
Although my problem is different...lol  

[B]

i wish there were more girls around here that were just looking for cheap sex.
---Andrew

You might want to move a little bit north then Andrew, there are a lot of those girls round these parts :roll:. That said, you would have to tolerate their obsessions with Ja Rule and 50 Cent, but they are here. LOL

[Holly]

lmao Andrew... thats what i'm doing... dating! i know its fun, but i cant hold his hand or stuff if i'm not 100% sure i want to commit with him!
you make it sound so serious! calm down, lol. and the way it works atleast with all the people i know, is the guy does ask the girl if she wants to go out with him whether its after a week or months... thats what happens! and you dont just act like friends and then jump into it... you slowly progress...

[rosieposy87]

and the way it works atleast with all the people i know, is the guy does ask the girl if she wants to go out with him whether its after a week or months... thats what happens! and you dont just act like friends and then jump into it... you slowly progress...

I wish thats how it worked here, people are just like 'will you go out with me?' but in andrew's post it makes me think that maybe this is just a phase and it will change, even in this weird country!

[Grakthis]

Rosie,
  Yeah, the way it eventually works when you get older is that you meet someone you find attractive, you go out on an official date, at that point it is known you are dating, you hookup a few times, usually sex is involved, after about 2 months you sit down and discuss where the relationship is going (ie. mutually exclusive) and then progress from there.  In theory anyways.  Its never that simple though  :wink:

So Holly, if someone asked you if you were DATING him you would say YES?  and if someone asked him if he were DATING you, he would say YES?

If so, then things are going fine and I misunderstood.

Is this our first ever NH.com official dating experiement?  Since Tricia never kept us updated on hers, I think we need Holly to give us weekly updates.  Ney! I demand it!  :wink:
---Andrew

[Grakthis]

You might want to move a little bit north then Andrew, there are a lot of those girls round these parts :roll:. That said, you would have to tolerate their obsessions with Ja Rule and 50 Cent, but they are here. LOL

LOL.  Brian, I dont care what kinda music the listen to cause I wont be around'em that long!  :wink:
---Andrew

[Holly]

did i ever say we were going out? lol... NO
i said i'm dating him... he's not my boyfriend! and maybe the whole 2 month hook up thing is what you do when you get older... but we're only 17, it's different for people in highschool! like for example, this guy my friend has been seeing for a month is about to ask her if she would like to be his girlfriend... thats how it works for us!

i like this guy... he's cool, a bit immature at times... but if he can stop that, sure i'd go out with him, but i want my bf to be someone who i can act my age with... lol

[Holly]

You might want to move a little bit north then Andrew, there are a lot of those girls round these parts :roll:. That said, you would have to tolerate their obsessions with Ja Rule and 50 Cent, but they are here. LOL

LOL.  Brian, I dont care what kinda music the listen to cause I wont be around'em that long!  :wink:
---Andrew

hmmm... i thought you said guys were the ones looking for relationships! lmao

[Grakthis]

hmmm... i thought you said guys were the ones looking for relationships! lmao

Oh, good god no.  In general, men aren't looking for a relationship, just booty  :wink:
---Andrew

[Grakthis]

did i ever say we were going out? lol... NO
i said i'm dating him... he's not my boyfriend!

Wait, im confused here.  Did I ever say he was your boyfriend?  I just asked if you two were dating.  And you just said, yes you are.  Question answered  

And Holly, you're 17 years old.  At this point, you should be out of the whole Jr high dating ritual.  I know I was by that age.   By the time I was 15 I was over that whole "ask her is she would like to be his girlfriend"  thing.  Maybe me and my friends jumped the gun on growing up.  Maybe we were the weird ones.

This is a good question for the panel.  At what age did you have your first mature relationship?  I want ages and grades from EVERYONE  :wink:
---Andrew